The One You Feed

Why You Keep Falling Off Track—and the Tools That Help You Start Again with Katy Milkman


Listen Later

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t have the luxury of doing less, Overwhelm Is Optional offers simple tools you can use in under ten minutes a day. Learn more at⁠ oneyoufeed.net/overwhelm⁠

Help us make the podcast better—share your input in a short survey:: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠oneyoufeed.net/survey. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Thank You!

In this episode, Katy Milkman explains why you keep falling off track and shares tools that will help you start again. She shares why lasting behavior change is so difficult—and what science reveals about how people actually change. Katy also delves into impulsivity, motivation, confidence, habit formation, and why willpower alone so often fails. Katy shares research-backed tools like temptation bundling, commitment devices, and fresh starts. Listeners will walk away with a clearer understanding of why they get stuck, practical strategies to move forward, and permission to stop striving for perfection and start building change that can survive real life. If you’ve ever felt frustrated by starting over—or wondered why good intentions aren’t enough—this conversation offers both clarity and compassion.

Exciting News!!!Coming in March 2026, my new book, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life is now available for pre-orders!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Key Takeaways

  • vior change through a diagnostic, personalized approach
  • The role of impulsivity (present bias) in undermining long-term goals
  • Understanding internal barriers to change instead of relying on willpower
  • Making goal-aligned behaviors more enjoyable to increase persistence
  • Temptation bundling as a strategy for aligning short-term rewards with long-term outcomes
  • The importance of confidence and self-efficacy in sustaining change
  • Using advice-giving and mentoring to strengthen belief in one’s ability to change
  • Commitment devices as tools for overcoming procrastination and self-control challenges
  • Flexible habit formation versus rigid routines for long-term consistency
  • Embracing fresh starts and setbacks as part of the change process
  • For full show notes,⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠

    Connect with the show:

    • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow us on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@TheOneYouFeedPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
    • Subscribe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
    • Follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
    • If you enjoyed this conversation with Katy Milkman, check out these other episodes:

      How to Stay Motivated with Ayelet Fishbach

      Tiny Habits for Behavior Change with BJ Fogg


      By purchasing products and/or services from our sponsors, you are helping to support The One You Feed, and we greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

      This episode is sponsored by:

      ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Aura Frames⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AuraFrames.com /FEED ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠to get $35 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames – named #1 by Wirecutter –  by using promo code FEED at checkout. This deal is exclusive to listeners, and frames sell out fast,  so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays!

      ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Uncommon Goods ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠has something for everyone – you’ll find thousands of new gift ideas that you won’t find anywhere else, and you’ll be supporting artists and small, independent businesses. To get 15% off your next gift, go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠UNCOMMONGOODS.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

      ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Post your job for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠linkedin.com/oneyoufeed⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Terms and conditions apply.

      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

      ...more
      View all episodesView all episodes
      Download on the App Store

      The One You FeedBy Eric Zimmer

      • 4.5
      • 4.5
      • 4.5
      • 4.5
      • 4.5

      4.5

      2,431 ratings


      More shows like The One You Feed

      View all
      Generation Why: True Crime by Audible

      Generation Why: True Crime

      17,338 Listeners

      Tara Brach by Tara Brach

      Tara Brach

      10,583 Listeners

      Untangle by Untangle

      Untangle

      821 Listeners

      The Vanished Podcast by Audible

      The Vanished Podcast

      15,314 Listeners

      Therapy Chat by Laura Reagan, LCSW-C

      Therapy Chat

      686 Listeners

      This Is Actually Happening by Audible

      This Is Actually Happening

      10,504 Listeners

      Good Life Project by Jonathan Fields / Acast

      Good Life Project

      3,391 Listeners

      Sounds True: Insights at the Edge by Tami Simon

      Sounds True: Insights at the Edge

      1,879 Listeners

      Heart Wisdom with Jack Kornfield by Be Here Now Network

      Heart Wisdom with Jack Kornfield

      1,492 Listeners

      On Being with Krista Tippett by On Being Studios

      On Being with Krista Tippett

      10,165 Listeners

      10% Happier with Dan Harris by 10% Happier

      10% Happier with Dan Harris

      12,778 Listeners

      Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson by Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

      Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

      2,530 Listeners

      Therapist Uncensored Podcast by Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD

      Therapist Uncensored Podcast

      1,389 Listeners

      True Crime All The Time by Emash Digital / Wondery

      True Crime All The Time

      13,760 Listeners

      American History Tellers by Audible

      American History Tellers

      19,252 Listeners

      Business Wars by Audible

      Business Wars

      12,860 Listeners

      American Scandal by Audible

      American Scandal

      19,189 Listeners

      Eckhart Tolle: Essential Teachings by Oprah and Eckhart Tolle

      Eckhart Tolle: Essential Teachings

      3,807 Listeners

      Bachelor Happy Hour by iHeartPodcasts and Warner Bros

      Bachelor Happy Hour

      15,138 Listeners

      Trauma Rewired by Elisabeth Kristof & Jennifer Wallace

      Trauma Rewired

      357 Listeners

      The Gathering Room Podcast by Martha Beck

      The Gathering Room Podcast

      683 Listeners

      Against The Odds by Audible

      Against The Odds

      7,795 Listeners

      The Way Out Is In by Plum Village

      The Way Out Is In

      1,356 Listeners

      Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen by Elise Loehnen

      Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

      1,109 Listeners