Widowed AF: Real stories of love, grief and beyond - With Rosie Moss

In this episode Rosie Moss speaks with Corinne Longland-Malam, known online as the “Fairy Grief Mother,” about losing her partner Lee after a rare and devastating illness turned their lives upside down in the space of months.

Corinne shares the story of meeting Lee “very romantically on Facebook,” falling quickly into a relationship that felt less like fireworks and more like finally feeling safe. Together they built a blended family, a quiet life, and the kind of love rooted in contentment, companionship and being fully yourself with another person.

Everything changed when Lee was diagnosed with cardiac amyloidosis caused by myeloma, a rare condition affecting both the heart and blood. What follows is a brutally honest conversation about sudden illness, complicated treatment decisions, and the impossible balance between hope and reality.

Corinne speaks candidly about becoming Lee’s advocate while trying to protect their children, the trauma of repeated cardiac arrests at home, and the night he died beside her after another emergency. She describes performing CPR, waiting for the coroner, making impossible phone calls, and the surreal practical reality of grief in its earliest hours.

Rosie and Corinne also talk about what comes afterwards: the secondary losses that ripple through blended families, being forced to leave the home they shared, parenting while grieving, and using TikTok as an outlet for pain that felt too raw to share anywhere else.

This episode covers:

• Falling in love after difficult past relationships and finding safety in another person
• Cardiac amyloidosis and myeloma, including missed symptoms and delayed diagnosis 
• The emotional impact of rare illness and navigating uncertainty around treatment
• Advocacy, medical trauma, and protecting loved ones from frightening realities
• Cardiac arrests at home, CPR, and the shock of sudden death
• Parenting grieving children while trying to survive your own grief
• Wills, legal planning, and the practical chaos that follows loss
• Social media, community, and why sharing grief online can sometimes feel safer than doing it face to face
• Rebuilding safety, identity and family life after losing your person

In this episode Rosie Moss speaks with Jackie L. Disch, who shares the story of her wife Katie and the life they built together over 23 years. A relationship rooted in deep acceptance.

Katie’s death came suddenly in 2020 after a series of strokes, during a time when COVID restrictions meant hospitals were inaccessible, isolating, and frightening. What followed was a rapid shift from normal life into end-of-life care at home, as Jackie supported Katie through her final weeks.

This is a conversation about presence. About what it means to stay when things are hard. About advocating for the person you love, even when every part of you wants a different outcome. Jackie speaks candidly about the decisions they made to prioritise comfort over intervention, and the complexity of holding both love and loss in the same space.

There is honesty here about fear, anger, and the practical realities that come after death. But there is also something else running through it, a thread of dignity, connection, and what Jackie describes as “living grief” rather than moving on from it.

This episode covers:

• A long-term partnership built on acceptance and deep emotional safety
• The impact of COVID on medical care and end-of-life choices
• Katie’s strokes and the rapid progression to home hospice 
• Caring for a partner at home, including communication loss and dependency
• Advocacy, autonomy, and the idea of a “good death”
• The emotional reality of early grief, including anger and administrative overwhelm
• Lockdown, stillness, and being unable to avoid grief
• Writing, memory, and learning to live alongside loss rather than resolve it

In this episode I’m joined by Orlagh Reynolds, whose husband Fraser died from motor neurone disease.

Their story starts the way so many of the best ones do. A chance meeting in Dublin, a bit of boldness, and a gut feeling that turned into a life. Together they built something full. Australia, travel, work, marriage, and their daughter, Una.

And then another gut feeling. This one telling Orlagh they needed to go home to Ireland.

Not long after, Fraser was diagnosed with MND.

What follows is a conversation about what happens when you are told, in no uncertain terms, that the person you love is going to die, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. 

Oriagh talks about what the disease took from Fraser, slowly and relentlessly, and how they made a conscious decision to focus on what remained. Their home became a place of care, honesty, humour, and, perhaps most strikingly, gratitude. Not forced positivity, but a daily practice that carried them through the worst of it.

We talk about parenting through terminal illness. How you explain something like this to a child. How you include them without overwhelming them. And what it looks like to raise a child in the middle of something most adults would struggle to survive.

We talk about Fraser’s creativity in the face of unimaginable loss. The art he created using only his eyes. The legacy he built while his body failed him. And the letter he left behind for his wife and daughter, waiting until the moment it was needed.

And we talk about what comes after. Solo parenting. The empty house at night. The decisions that are yours and yours alone. And the relentless reality of continuing on.

This one is devastating in places. But it’s also full of love, strength, and a kind of perspective that stays with you.

Rosie is joined by Fran Milne, whose husband Matt died suddenly after collapsing on a flight home from Singapore.

What begins as a familiar story of work travel, school runs and family life shifts in an instant into something unthinkable. A knock at the door. A police officer standing on the driveway. And the kind of shock that splits your life into before and after.

In this deeply honest conversation, Fran talks Rosie through the moment everything changed. From the surreal wait in her living room, to the phone call from the air ambulance, to the long drive to the hospital knowing something was very wrong. And then the moment no one can prepare you for.

They talk about the practical and emotional chaos that follows sudden loss. Telling the children. The decisions you never thought you’d have to make. The strange, jarring details that stay with you. And the small moments of humanity that carry you through the worst day of your life.

There is heartbreak here, but also warmth, humour, and the kind of clarity that only comes from living through it.

This episode covers:

• Sudden death and medical trauma

• The reality of a police knock at the door

• Deep vein thrombosis and missed symptoms

• The experience of hospital after a sudden loss

• Telling children their parent has died

• Early grief, shock, and survival

Jess Herrick was 28 when her partner Max was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer.

What followed was a year of brutal treatment, long hospital stays, and a kind of life that no one in their twenties expects to be living. Against the odds, Max went into remission and they tried to rebuild. But just a year later, the cancer came back, this time terminal.

In this episode, Jess talks about loving someone through illness, becoming a carer in your mid-twenties, and the quiet, devastating losses that come with young widowhood, not just the person, but the future you were meant to have together.

They got married in a hospice just days before Max died.

Jess also shares what it’s actually like to be widowed at 28, the messy reality of grief in your twenties, and why she’s now helping other young widows find each other through peer support.

This one is raw, honest, and devastating, but also full of love.

Rosie is joined by Leslie Harter-Berg, author of You Are So Strong, to talk about sudden loss, solo parenting, and rebuilding a life you never asked for.

Leslie’s husband Ryan died unexpectedly in 2019 after suffering an aneurysm and stroke while they were on a family holiday. He was 34. They had two very young children. One moment they were by the pool, the next, everything had changed.

They talk about the reality of those early days. Telling your children their dad has died. Coming home without him. The strange, relentless practicalities of grief. And why being told “you are so strong” can feel completely off the mark.

They also talk about what comes next. Finding love again. Building a blended family. Raising children who grieve in very different ways. And holding both joy and devastation at the same time.

Leslie shares how her book came to be, and how writing it felt less like revisiting trauma and more like spending time with Ryan again.

About Leslie's Book

Title: You Are So Strong: On Grief and Letting Go of My Favourite Compliment Available: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Target, Kindle, and Audible (narrated by Leslie herself)

Where to Find Leslie

• Instagram: @lesliehartberg

• Nonprofit: Vids for Wids (sharing widows' stories). ( https://www.vidsforwids.com/)

Where to Find Rosie

• Podcast: Widowed AF

• Book: Rosie's memoir (published on the anniversary of Ben's death)

Content Note

This episode discusses sudden bereavement, young widowhood, children's grief, and the death of a spouse. If you have been affected by any of the topics discussed, you can reach out to Rosie or Leslie directly via their social channels.

In this episode, Rosie Moss speaks with Stuart J Green, author of The Regenerative Leap, whose story of love, loss and survival is almost impossible to comprehend, and yet deeply human.

Stuart takes us back to a life built in the Philippines, where he met his wife Maya, a brilliant lawyer, mother, and woman deeply committed to justice. Their love story is rich with humour, culture and connection. And then, in a moment of unimaginable violence, everything changes.

Maya is murdered in broad daylight, ambushed in her car while picking up their children from school. What follows is a story that will stop you in your tracks. A mother’s final act of protection. Children who survive against all odds. And a father who must hold it all together while his world collapses.

Together, Rosie and Stuart explore what happens next. The immediate aftermath. The fear. The decision to flee the country within days. And the reality of arriving back in the UK as a suddenly single parent to three traumatised children.

They talk about:

Survivor’s guilt and what it means to be “the one left behind”

• Raising children after extreme trauma and telling them the truth over time

• The anger children feel, and where it lands

• The strange isolation of being a widowed parent, especially as a dad

• The power of routine, even when everything feels impossible

• And the idea that grief doesn’t just break you, it can also rebuild you

Stuart shares how he deliberately chose not to look back at his grief until his children were stable, and what happened when he finally opened those journals years later. From that came his book, and a framework for navigating life after devastation.

At the heart of this conversation is a powerful reframe. Not resilience. Not “getting back to who you were”. But regeneration. The idea that after the fire, something new can grow.

This is an episode about the worst thing happening… and what comes after.

About raising children through grief.

About love that protects, even in the final moment.

And about finding a way forward when there is no map.

If this episode resonates, sharing it or leaving a review helps other widows find it.

https://www.regenerateleap.com/

In this episode Rosie Moss is joined by writer and lifelong music obsessive Cath Holland. Cath brings her husband Andy vividly to life, a thoughtful, principled “music buff” whose love of records, gigs and humour carried them through 25 years together and somehow held on right until the end.

The conversation begins in the life before. Liverpool gig scenes, record shops, and a shared vinyl collection built over decades. Cath still laughs remembering the moment Andy first asked her out, by ringing her landline like it was 1987.

Then comes the rupture. Cath walks Rosie through the brutal speed of Andy’s bowel cancer diagnosis. The failed prep. The endless hospital wait. Being told there was an “84% chance” of cancer just days before Christmas. Early reassurances quickly turned into the reality of stage four disease.

Together they talk about the parts people rarely say out loud. Stomas, infections, DNAR conversations, and the relentlessness of becoming a carer while watching the person you love slip away. Cath also speaks about the strange intimacy of keeping someone at home after they die.

From there the conversation moves into the long tail of grief. Funerals. Ashes sitting on a shelf surrounded by Beatles books. The support cliff that arrives after everyone goes home. And the exhausting work of rebuilding a future that was never meant to be yours.

This is a conversation about love, music, caregiving, class, and the quiet endurance required to keep going when the soundtrack of your life suddenly stops.

In this episode:

• How Cath and Andy’s relationship was built through music, Liverpool gigs, record collecting and the rituals that still anchor her now.

• The diagnostic timeline that still feels unreal: repeat endoscopies, a dread filled wait, and being told there was an “84% likelihood” of cancer days before Christmas.

• Medical whiplash and systemic failure when tumours initially shrank but surgery was later ruled out because hospital teams weren’t communicating properly.

• What “dying at home” can actually look like, from hospice at home support and syringe drivers to district nurses and the decision to stay out of hospital in the final week.

• Small moments of joy when there is no bucket list, including record shopping, Saturday lunches and comfort music from The Beatles and Creedence.

• After death: the funeral as a rare moment of collective support, a Beatles shrine for the ashes, and the quiet bubble before telling the world.

• The secondary losses people rarely talk about including work, identity, grief brain and the physical impact of prolonged stress and caregiving.

• The kind of support that actually helps bereaved people and the things well meaning friends often get wrong.

A beautiful, honest conversation about music, love, caregiving and the long echo of loss.

Chapters

0:07 Welcome + Kath and Andy: a life built on music

6:50 From first symptoms to diagnosis: the long, frightening wait

9:54 Treatment twists: radiotherapy, chemo hope, then stage four

12:44 Palliative care, hospice, and choosing home

18:59 Living inside terminal illness: day-to-day love, fear, and admin

26:07 The last weeks and days: care at home, music, and the moment of death

37:04 What happens next: overnight at home, funeral, ashes, and keeping love close

42:59 The fallout: isolation, practical help, money, class, and work after loss

64:29 Rebuilding a life: identity, exhaustion, joy, and messages for the newly widowed

#widowedaf #widowhood #griefpodcast #bereavement #hospicecare #palliativecare #cancerjourney #endoflifeplanning #griefandmoney #workingclassvoices

This week on Widowed AF, Rosie is joined by LA-based comedian Sam Morrison, whose life changed forever when his partner Jonathan died from Covid in 2021.

Sam is currently in London performing his critically acclaimed show Sugar Daddy, a wildly funny, deeply personal comedy about love, loss and everything that comes after. What started as grief eventually found its way onto the stage, proving that sometimes you can’t make sense of tragedy… but you can make jokes about it.

Rosie and Sam talk about meeting their partners, navigating loss at a young age, and the strange club nobody wants to join. They also get into dark humour, grief counselling, dating after loss, audience reactions to comedy about death, and why sometimes laughter is the only way through.

Expect conversations about gay bear festivals, cruise ship comedy gigs, grief guilt, autoimmune diagnoses after trauma, and the awkward reality of trying to explain “my partner who died” in everyday conversation.

It’s a thoughtful, funny and refreshingly honest chat about grief, resilience and carrying the people we love forward with us.

Sam’s show Sugar Daddy is running at the Underbelly in Soho, London from 5 March to 4 April.

Find tickets and tour dates at samuelhmorrison.com @samuelhmorrison

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow, rate and review the podcast. It really helps other widowed people find us.

You can also find Rosie on Instagram @widowedaf or at widowedaf.com.

As always… take care of yourselves, and each other.

0:02 Meet Sam Morrison + ‘Sugar Daddy’ arrives in London

3:04 The love story: meeting Jonathan and falling in fast

7:17 The rupture: losing Jonathan to COVID (and surviving the pandemic)

9:57 Finding language, finding help: support networks + queer widowhood

18:22 Building ‘Sugar Daddy’: turning grief into a show (and taking the hits)

28:03 Grief in the body + love after loss

35:37 Living with the long tail: time, milestones, sobriety, success-guilt

41:41 Spirituality, signs, and the wish for one more conversation

45:50 Final plugs + goodbye: dates, links, community

#widowedaf #griefandloss #covidgrief #queergrief #griefhumor #darkhumor #bereavement #griefsupport #sugardaddyshow #standupcomedy

In this episode, Rosie Moss speaks with Natalie Dodds.

Natalie is a mum of two who lost her partner, Dave, following a workplace crane collapse. She speaks with clear eyed honesty about parenting through shock, bureaucracy and the long tail of grief, while still finding ways to keep Dave’s humour and presence alive at the family dinner table.

We begin with life before. How Natalie and Dave met, built a home and became parents. Alongside that joy came an earlier rupture, the stillbirth of their daughter, Emily Daisy, at just over 38 weeks. Natalie shares the visceral reality of delivering on a main ward while hearing other babies cry, and the complex coexistence of grief and love that followed. In time, she volunteered with SANDS and welcomed two more children, carrying both loss and hope.

At the heart of this conversation is the day of the accident. The unexpected paramedic call. The 126 mile drive. The 7pm news report confirming a crane collapse in Crewe. The moment “alive” became the only word that mattered.

What followed was five weeks of ICU limbo. Sedation, ventilation, internal bleeding and sepsis. Dark humour. Small kindnesses from staff. Impossible choices about protecting children from trauma. Then the call no one survives hearing. There is absolutely nothing we can do. The kindest thing is to switch the machines off and let him die.

Natalie speaks about what comes after the headline moment. The secondary losses that keep arriving. Mortgage threats. Next of kin complications. Institutions insisting on speaking to the person who has died. An 8.5 year wait for an inquest. The exhaustion of fighting systems that do not bend.

She shares how she chose not to take her children into ICU, how she refused false promises, and how she found the words to tell them their dad was not coming home, while still getting them up for school the next morning.

Eight and a half years later, the inquest brought answers about training failures and a wrong method statement, followed by the additional blow of hearing “not guilty.” Natalie reflects on the strange mixture of validation and devastation that comes with official findings that change nothing.

This is a conversation about compounded grief. About loving someone who has died without freezing them in sainthood. About keeping Dave the man present through stories, laughter and everyday references. About maintaining a close bond with his family. About integrating a new partner into a home where Dave is still spoken about with love.

It is also about resilience that does not look shiny. About coping strategies that sound small but keep you upright. Work routines. Blood pressure bingo. Cherries to stay awake on the motorway.

Above all, it is about a woman doing the unthinkable and still showing up for her children.

A powerful, unfiltered episode about loss, responsibility, anger, love and the long road towards something that resembles stability.