When you’re married to an alcoholic, it feels almost impossible not to keep watch over his drinking. Maybe you’ve counted bottles, checked the liquor cabinet, or tracked every sip at dinner—hoping that if you could just measure the problem, you could somehow control it.

In this episode, we’ll talk about why monitoring an alcoholic’s drinking doesn’t work and how it keeps you trapped in a cycle of anxiety, hypervigilance, and codependency. Addiction hijacks the brain, and no amount of checking or policing can make your husband choose sobriety. His recovery is his responsibility—not yours.

You’ll learn:

If you’ve ever thought, “Maybe if I just keep track, I can get ahead of this,” this episode will show you a healthier way forward. Your husband’s sobriety is not your responsibility—but your peace, your healing, and your walk with God are.

📩 Do you have a question you’d like me to cover on a future episode? Email me at [email protected].

📅 Want to go deeper? My one-on-one coaching sessions are open now. Book here → (Temporarily unavailable. Email the above address and we will set a time:)

When gaslighting leaves you questioning your reality and your worth, it’s easy to spiral into anger, defensiveness, or despair. As wives, we long for our husbands to meet our emotional needs, but the truth is—no spouse can carry that weight fully. And when addiction and gaslighting are present, the gap feels even bigger than we ever imagined.

In this episode, I share how I’ve learned to regulate my emotions in the face of hurtful, confusing words. You’ll hear:

Why it’s dangerous to seek validation from a spouse who cannot give it.

Practical ways to counteract gaslighting without losing your peace.

How knowing who I am in Christ steadies me when my marriage feels like less than I ever expected.

Why Galatians 5:22 reminds me that the Holy Spirit equips me with self-control—even when I’m tempted to lash back in anger.

If you’ve ever thought, “I didn’t sign up for this—I expected so much more,” this episode will give you encouragement and practical tools to hold your ground in truth and respond with Spirit-led self-control.

📩 Do you have a question you’d like me to cover in a future episode, or a testimony of what God is doing in your life? Does your husband have a question for my husband? We are working on building our next interviews! Email me at https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession

Living with alcoholism in your marriage can leave you feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. The lies, broken promises, and constant chaos can make you wonder if hope is even possible. If you’ve ever whispered, “I can’t keep doing this,” this episode is for you.

In today’s conversation, I share 3 Christ-centered, practical tips to help you take one small step forward when you feel hopeless and defeated. These aren’t about fixing your husband—they’re about helping you anchor your heart, care for yourself, and invite God into the exhaustion.

You’ll learn:

Where your hope belongs when his choices keep breaking it.

Simple acts of self-care that bring life back into your day—like stepping outside in the sunshine, turning on praise music, or moving your body to clear the heaviness.

How to invite God into your weariness, trusting Him to carry what feels impossible.

Hopelessness doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you need fresh ways to steady your soul in Christ. With Him, you can take the next step, even in the storm.

📩 Do you have a question you’d like me to cover on the show, or a testimony of how God is meeting you in this journey? Email me at https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession

Addiction, Co-Dependency, Boundaries, Alcoholic, Marriage, Hope

Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between a healthy boundary and one that only sounds right on the surface. Boundaries are like real vs. counterfeit money—you need to know what the genuine thing “sounds” like in order to recognize when something is off.

In this episode, I’m sharing examples of both unhealthy and healthy boundaries side by side so you can hear the difference for yourself. Poorly stated boundaries often come out of anger, sound controlling, or place the accountability on you instead of where it belongs. Healthy boundaries, on the other hand, are calm, clear, and protective without trying to control another person’s choices.

You’ll learn:

Why tone and phrasing matter more than you might realize—especially when you’re dealing with alcoholism, addiction, or gaslighting at home.

Why practice builds confidence in speaking boundaries that actually work.

How a “bad boundary” sounds compared to a “good boundary”—so you can stop feeling stuck and start protecting your peace.

If you’ve ever thought, “My boundaries sound right, so why don’t they work?”—this episode will help you start spotting the difference. Whether you’re navigating life with an alcoholic spouse, recovering from the effects of addiction, or learning how to respond to gaslighting, you’ll find practical insight and encouragement here.

👉 Have a question you’d like me to cover in a future episode? Email me at [email protected] 

When you’re living in the chaos of an alcoholic marriage, boundaries aren’t just helpful—they’re essential. But here’s the thing: not all boundaries are created equal. Some can actually cause more damage, fuel defensiveness, or leave you carrying all the accountability.

In this episode, I’m sharing three specific things I don’t do when I set boundaries—habits I’ve learned to leave behind so my boundaries are clear, effective, and truly protective for me and my family.

We’ll talk about how to avoid the traps that make boundaries backfire, and how to phrase them in ways that lower defensiveness instead of triggering it. Listen in to hear exactly what these three things are and how you can start shifting your approach today.

If you’ve been struggling to set boundaries that actually work, this is for you.

📩 Got a boundary question you’d like me to answer on the show? Email me at https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession 

Setting boundaries in a marriage impacted by addiction is hard enough—but what happens when we set boundaries that backfire?

In this episode, we’re walking through 4 common boundary mistakes Christian wives often make when navigating life with an alcoholic spouse:

Boundaries made in anger – when emotions take over and clarity is lost

Not following through – the emotional toll of boundaries that don’t stick

Poorly communicated boundaries – the best of intentions, but instantly the defensiveness shows up from hubby!

Controlling boundaries – These sounded so good in my head, but only caused fights and a cycle of NO change. 

You’ll hear real-life examples of what these mistakes look like in the home—and how to reframe them with love, clarity, and biblical wisdom. Plus, I’ll show you how to spot the difference between a boundary that punishes and one that protects.

💬 Have a question you’d like answered on the show? Or want to share something God is doing in your life? I’d love to hear from you. Email me at https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession 

There’s a specific kind of heartbreak that comes when you realize the life you dreamed of isn’t the life you’re living—and that setting a boundary might be the only way to protect your peace, your children, or your sanity.

In this deeply personal episode, I share my own experience of grieving what I thought family life would look like—and the painful but necessary process of accepting that I had to set boundaries in an addicted marriage in order to stay grounded in reality, not fantasy.

You’ll hear:

The emotional weight that comes before setting a boundary

What it’s like to pray and wrestle with God before taking action

How it feels to be forced into choices you never wanted to make

The internal tug-of-war between loyalty to your marriage and protecting your children

If you’ve ever asked, “How did it get this bad?” or “Why do I have to be the one to draw the line?”—this episode is for you.

💌 

Welcome back to Part 2 of my honest conversation with my husband, who is now in long-term recovery from alcohol. This episode dives into some of the most painful questions Christian wives face when living with an alcoholic spouse:

💔 Should I keep bringing up the drinking?

If you’ve ever felt like something big happens, emotions explode, and then everything just quietly resets without real change... you’re not alone. We talk about why this cycle happens, what we’ve learned from it, and how God can open the door to true conversations and healing—even when it feels impossible.

We also explore:

How to invite your husband to open AA meetings (even as a recovery date night!)

Why some AA meetings don’t go well—and why it’s okay to try again

The role of prayer and timing in recovery conversations

Encouragement for when you’re discouraged, stuck, or silently suffering

This episode is for the wife who is doing her best to hold it all together with grace, but who needs real support, real answers, and real hope.

Full Listener Question:

"My husband admits his drinking is a problem, but he's not doing anything about it. If I ask him if he’s looked into AA, Celebrate Recovery, or Regeneration, he says he hasn’t had time and will look into it later. He’s gone to AA meetings before but says he doesn’t think it’s for him. Do I keep bringing this up? I don’t want to nag him, but it’s eating at me inside not to say anything. I feel like we’re in a painful cycle—something happens, we talk about it for a couple days, then we move on until it happens again. I feel like he’s just appeasing me in those moments because he knows I’ll eventually stop asking. He doesn’t communicate his feelings at all, so I have no idea what he’s thinking."

🔗 https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession 

In this special two-part episode, I sit down with my husband—who is in long-term recovery from alcoholism—to answer a heartfelt and all-too-relatable question from a listener:

"My husband admits his drinking is a problem, but he's not doing anything about it. If I ask him if he’s looked into AA, Celebrate Recovery, or Regeneration, he says he hasn’t had time and will look into it later. He’s gone to AA meetings before but says he doesn’t think it’s for him. Do I keep bringing this up? I don’t want to nag him, but it’s eating at me inside not to say anything. I feel like we’re in a painful cycle—something happens, we talk about it for a couple days, then we move on until it happens again. I feel like he’s just appeasing me in those moments because he knows I’ll eventually stop asking. He doesn’t communicate his feelings at all, so I have no idea what he’s thinking."

Together, we reflect honestly on what life was like when we were in that same stuck place—and what we wish we had known then. From both sides of the struggle, we share what was helpful, what wasn’t, and what conversations planted real seeds of change.

In Part 1, we explore:

Whether your husband is just beginning to wrestle with his drinking or you feel trapped in a repeating cycle of hope and disappointment, this episode offers honest insight and encouragement from our story and our victory! 

Resources Mentioned:

Joe and Charlie Tapes- 2 Old Timers in AA walking and talking through the Big Book and breaking it down in a way only they can do:) These are available on YouTube and also on the AA app. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhl3xlE0-GdweI1gG5QoeY9iIRCt2w_aI 

If you have a question you'd like answered on a future episode—or just want to connect—you can email me at [email protected].

If you’re interested in going deeper into the dynamics of your specific situation, you can book a summer 1:1 session with me here:

https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession 

Part 2 continues next week with more discussion, insight, and tackling the repetitive cycle that conversations tend to have in active addiction. (Alcohol or Drugs will elicit the same patterns of the cycle resisting sobriety and recovery.)

Summer is supposed to be a time of fun, family, and freedom — but for Christian wives of alcoholics, events like the 4th of July, barbecues, and neighborhood gatherings can catch you off guard with behavior not anticipated. Expecting Family Time but your husband self sabotages in order to drink and you end up alone or with all the kids without him?

In this heartfelt episode of Wife on the Rocks, we’re talking about the real effects of alcohol in marriage — not just on the alcoholic husband, but on the wife and the family unit as a whole. From grill outs where he’s the only one drinking, to family plans that suddenly unravel into chaos, to fireworks nights you end up attending alone with the kids… we get into all of it.

You’ll hear:

How summer events often reveal painful patterns in alcoholic behavior

The emotional toll of being pushed away so he can drink in peace while you carry the family.

The subtle (and not-so-subtle) sabotage that ruins what should be family time

Why choosing not to attend certain events can actually be wise

What it looks like to reclaim peace, even when your heart is breaking

And most importantly, we talk about how you can walk this hard road with strength, with faith, and without losing yourself. Even when it hurts, even when you’re crying on the drive to the fireworks — you are not alone.

💬 Want to share your story or suggest a future episode topic? Email me at [email protected]

https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession