Still unsure if your husband is “just” a heavy drinker or a true alcoholic? The truth is: chasing a diagnosis often becomes a distraction that delays the healing process.

In this episode, we talk about why trying to “figure him out” won’t fix anything—and what you can do instead. Whether your husband meets a textbook definition or not, the chaos still hurts, and you deserve peace.

You'll hear:

Why obsessing over the “right” label can keep wives stuck in fear and codependency

4 litmus test questions to help you decide when a boundary is needed

How both heavy drinking and alcoholism cause emotional instability in the home

A Christian perspective on stepping forward without all the answers

Real-life discussion of when helping crosses the line into enabling

This episode is an invitation to stop diagnosing and start discerning what God is calling you to do in your family. 

💌 If you have questions you’d like me to cover on the podcast, or want more info about 1-on-1 coaching, email me at [email protected]

Are you constantly wondering whether your husband is an alcoholic or “just” a heavy drinker? Maybe you've searched for clarity in books, blogs, or online quizzes—hoping that labeling his behavior will give you peace.

In this episode, we break down what the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says about the three types of drinkers, including what defines a “real alcoholic”—and why understanding this framework may help, but it’s not your responsibility to diagnose.

You'll hear:

A clear overview of the 3 drinker types described in AA literature

What a "real alcoholic" looks like according to the Big Book

Why this knowledge can offer insight—but also keep wives stuck

Real-life home examples of what each type might look like in daily life

Encouragement for Christian wives navigating confusion and chaos

This episode offers education—not to label your husband—but to help you understand what you’re dealing with and why his drinking affects your heart and home either way.

If you want to read the full chapter regarding this in the Big Book of  AA here is a link to the Big Book for free online on the AA website. Scroll down for Chapter 2. There is a Solution. (pp.17-29)

https://www.aa.org/the-big-book 

💌 Want to be added to the waitlist or learn more about 1:1 coaching?

💭 Have a question you'd like answered on the show?

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re helping your husband or enabling his addiction, this episode is for you. As Christian wives, we’re called to love and support—but when codependency creeps in, it can be hard to tell if our actions are helping or hurting.

In today’s episode, I share two simple but powerful questions—your litmus test—to help you decide where a boundary might be needed. These questions will help you check your motives, discern if you're stepping into an enabler role, and bring clarity to those hard, in-the-moment decisions.

We’ll talk about how not setting boundaries can leave you feeling more like his mother than his wife, and how resentment often builds when we’re stuck in a cycle of codependency. We'll also explore the ever-shifting line between helping from a place of faith and unintentionally enabling, and why that line often has to be redrawn with each situation.

If you're navigating the storm of loving a man in addiction and want to reclaim your peace, this episode offers both practical tools and spiritual encouragement.

✨ Want to be added to the waitlist or get more info about 1:1 coaching sessions?

💬 Have a question you’d love to hear answered on the show?

In this episode on boundaries, we return to the basics—what they are, why they matter, and how they serve as a powerful shield for your peace. Think of boundaries not as walls to keep your husband out, but as a protective dome that creates space between you and the chaos of addiction. This distance isn’t about punishment—it’s about preserving your well-being and protecting your children.

If you're a Christian wife navigating life with an alcoholic husband, this episode is for you. Whether you’re just beginning to explore boundaries or need a fresh reminder of why they matter, you’ll find clarity and encouragement here.

 Want your questions answered in a future episode?

 If you're struggling to set healthy boundaries and need outside perspective, support, and accountability, I’m opening up a handful of 1-on-1 sessions soon. Email me at [email protected] to be added to the list.

Have you ever wondered what your husband is thinking!? Active Addiction comes with all kinds of twisted thinking in the mind to justify otherwise unhealthy behavior. In this powerful episode, we delve into the intricate journey from a husband's perspective as alcohol steadily takes command over life. I'm joined by my husband, who courageously opens up about the deep, internal conflict he faced during his battle with alcoholism trying to prove alcohol wasn’t a problem. 

For many men, the path down this dark road is marked by denial, shame, and an overwhelming sense of being trapped. If you're striving to understand what happens when alcohol becomes the silent third party in your marriage, this episode sheds light on just that.

Join us as we discuss:

1. **The Subtle Descent**: How my husband first began to notice alcohol's grip tightening around his life, evolving from a social pastime to a looming dependency.

2. **Living a Double Life**: Listen as he shares the internal battle between projecting a facade of control and feeling engulfed by the chaos within as he fought the truth that alcoholism was taking over. 

3. **Denial and Justification**: A raw look at the excuses he made to himself and others, all while the addiction quietly reshaped his world.

In opening his heart, my husband provides invaluable insights into the mind of someone entangled in addiction’s clutches. Our candid discussion is an invitation to wives seeking understanding, drawing the curtain back to illuminate the complexities faced by christian men dealing with addiction and offer a pathway to empathy and healing in the marital relationship. 

Today’s Referenced Quote:

”Addiction is a response to human suffering” 

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You don’t have to walk through this alone!! If you're interested in getting on the wait list for a one-on-one session with me, please email me at [email protected]

Additionally, if you have any questions for the show, whether it's my perspective or my husband’s, send them my way at [email protected]

In this powerful episode, Recovery of Your Family Begins With YOU!, I share a story I heard in Al-Anon that stopped me in my tracks—a story that helped me see how my efforts to “smooth things over” in a home affected by alcoholism were actually hurting more than helping.

Children don’t need everything to look okay. They need someone who is okay—someone stable, trustworthy, and emotionally safe. As Christian wives and moms navigating life with an alcoholic loved one, we are called to be that safe harbor. This episode is an invitation to take honest inventory, let go of unhealthy patterns, and choose a better path—for our kids, and for ourselves.

Healing starts with YOU Mama!!

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Check Out The Children/Parenting Series:

EP 15 Childhood Trauma And The Impact of Alcoholism On Our Kids! ACA ACOA CPTSD

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wife-on-the-rocks-i-gaslighting-addiction/id1780450985?i=1000702802054

EP 16 Parenting Through The Dysfunction Of Alcoholism. How Do I Lead My Kiddos? ACOA Al Ateen Al Anon 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wife-on-the-rocks-i-gaslighting-addiction/id1780450985?i=1000703692052 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wife-on-the-rocks-i-gaslighting-addiction/id1780450985?i=1000704550728 

Related Parenting Episodes:

EP 02 Parenting With An Alcoholic Husband? Tips For Peace and Joy With Kids. 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wife-on-the-rocks-i-gaslighting-addiction/id1780450985?i=1000678239979 

——————————-

Links for more information:

ACOA and ACA https://adultchildren.org/ 

Al Anon https://al-anon.org/ 

Al Ateen https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/

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Want to go deeper? If this episode spoke to you and you're ready to start untangling the chaos with someone who gets it, I’d love to walk with you. Email me at [email protected] to get on the waiting list for a one-on-one session—personalized support, rooted in faith, just for you.

And don’t forget—I'm always accepting questions at [email protected]. I’ll be weaving your questions into future episodes, so feel free to reach out anytime.

Resources mentioned in this episdoe. AA Alcoholics Annonymous,  Al Anon, Al Ateen, ACOA 

Send your questions to the show! [email protected]

Our kids are looking to us for guidance on how to navigate all of this. They can get caught up in the confusion and the family disease of alcoholism. As the wife of an alcoholic and the momma to these souls, and future ACOA members what can you be doing to help them to get through this too!? Our role is so important mommas!!

What legacy are you leaving for your kiddos? When they are adults what questions will they have for you regarding what they have seen and lived through? ACOA Adult Children of Alcoholics, Al Anon as well as Al Ateen have some thoughts on what we can be doing to teach our kids how to navigate. 

Check Out The Children/Parenting Series:

EP 15 Childhood Trauma And The Impact of Alcoholism On Our Kids! ACA ACOA CPTSD

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wife-on-the-rocks-i-gaslighting-addiction/id1780450985?i=1000702802054

EP 16 Parenting Through The Dysfunction Of Alcoholism. How Do I Lead My Kiddos? ACOA Al Ateen Al Anon 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wife-on-the-rocks-i-gaslighting-addiction/id1780450985?i=1000703692052 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wife-on-the-rocks-i-gaslighting-addiction/id1780450985?i=1000704550728 

Related Parenting Episodes:

EP 02 Parenting With An Alcoholic Husband? Tips For Peace and Joy With Kids. 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wife-on-the-rocks-i-gaslighting-addiction/id1780450985?i=1000678239979 

——————————-

Links for more information:

ACOA and ACA https://adultchildren.org/ 

Al Anon https://al-anon.org/ 

Al Ateen https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/ 

Would you like a safe place to share your heart? Tired of running in circles trying to fix all of this? Want to learn skills to navigate crisis parenting? Email to get on the waiting list for a one-on-one session with Wife On The Rocks. hello@wifeontherocks.com 

The impact of alcoholism on me was IMMENSE! However, my kids were experiencing all of this too through the littlest eyes and innoent hearts! I did not used to know how to lead them through all of this! Addiction really impacted our family! I have learned SO many tools and nuggets of wisdom over the years that helped me to navigate what our family was experiencing! If you are a mamma bear, you don't want to miss this episode highlighting our kiddos and their experience! ♥ 

Children grow up and their childhood trauma can still impact them years down the road. This is why the ACOA Adult Child Of Alcoholic Literature and groups exist. Our children will grow up to be those adults one day and the more we learn ourselves, to in turn teach them to navigate the trauma, the better their chances are to be part of breaking this cycle. 

It begins with us Mamma!  

Check Out The Children/Parenting Series:

EP 15 Childhood Trauma And The Impact of Alcoholism On Our Kids! ACA ACOA CPTSD

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wife-on-the-rocks-i-gaslighting-addiction/id1780450985?i=1000702802054

EP 16 Parenting Through The Dysfunction Of Alcoholism. How Do I Lead My Kiddos? ACOA Al Ateen Al Anon 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wife-on-the-rocks-i-gaslighting-addiction/id1780450985?i=1000703692052 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wife-on-the-rocks-i-gaslighting-addiction/id1780450985?i=1000704550728 

Related Parenting Episodes:

EP 02 Parenting With An Alcoholic Husband? Tips For Peace and Joy With Kids. 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wife-on-the-rocks-i-gaslighting-addiction/id1780450985?i=1000678239979 

——————————-

Links for more information:

ACOA and ACA https://adultchildren.org/ 

Al Anon https://al-anon.org/ 

Al Ateen https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/

Tune in to hear ONE thing that God taught me during this painful lonely season. Being married to an alcoholic who thinks that everything is FINE is SO frustrating! Active addiction is exhausting. AA says that Alcohol is "Cunning, Baffling and Powerful" and it is SO True. The one person that I wanted to talk to was the one person who was also hurting our family, so who else could I talk to? I didn't want my friends and family to know how bad it was and they would all have their own opinions anyway!

God convicted me on how to handle this very dilemna and I accepted the 30 day challenge. Try it for yourself and your situation! See what God can do ♥ 

Send me your QUESTIONS! [email protected]

Want to learn more about connecting 1 on 1 for support? Details coming soon for Spring 2025 open sessions. Waiting list sign up available through email [email protected] 

Today hear the ONE thing I did that helped me to start leaning on those that God had placed in my life. To bear someone else’s burden is a powerful expression of love and compassion, reminding us that we are not meant to walk through life alone. I needed friends and family to support myself and my children and ultimately my husband through this mess. Don't miss this episode! We all need each other ♥ God has a design to bear one another's burdens that was exactly what I needed! 

I HATED being in a position of needing HELP. I would rather be the person bringing the meal, helping you with your childcare, or being a listening ear. The truth was though that I desparately needed a support system willing to lift up my family, to be the hands and feet of Jesus in our mess, and to remind me that I was not alone in the lonliness of the aftermath of daily alcoholism. Addiction can take everything from our spouse! It robs us wives of everything we had hoped and dreamed of too as we wind up tangled in a mess unable to figure out what to do fast enough. I felt like an unwilling participant in the cycle that I was wound up in. It can be SO confusing! I so often found myself needing practical help and I HATED having to ask for it! It is such a fine balance having to ask for help and feeling like I asked too much! 

Send Your Question to the Show: [email protected] 

Coukd YOU benefit from having someone neutral to confide in and begin sorting out all of the endless thoughts overtaking your life? Not sure where to begin, but knowing that something has to give?

I will be offering limited spring one on one sessions for Wife On The Rocks listeners beginning mid-late April 2025. Email [email protected] to be on the waiting list or to find out more information.