June 10, 2025

You Blocked the Narcissist... Now They’re Losing It (Let’s Talk About Why)

15 minutes

Blocked the narcissist and now they’re spiraling? Good. That’s not drama — that’s proof you took your power back. In this episode, we break down why they react that way, how to protect your peace, and why holding the line is your biggest win yet. 👑🔥

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TRANSCRIPT

All right, you finally blocked the narcissists. No more texts, no more dms, no more access to your beautiful energy. And now what? Though? They are spiraling. Suddenly you're the villain. They may be stalking your socials, blowing up mutual friends or family members, and maybe even running a full-blown smear campaign, which I have been on the other end of. And it's not fun, but it is very common with narcissists, right? So if you don't know what a smear campaign is, it is basically imagine them just badmouthing you to anyone and everyone. They can really for a reaction from you. But two birds with one stone, they get to also make you look bad to other people. But what I want you to remember today, this chaos, the rage, it means you took your power back and that is the win. So let's break it all down in this episode.

(01:02)

Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up.

(02:00)

Hey, queen, it's Christie. And today we're talking about what happens when you do the bold, brave thing and you actually block the narcissist. You hit the button, you silence the chaos. You close that portal to all of their icky manipulative games, right? That's such freedom. But now they're losing it, right? Often they will come back stronger and harder, and this can be a scary part of the process. I've been through it. It happened, usually does. So it's very expected. We'll talk about why, but it's also a big old, beautiful neon sign saying You did the right thing. Why do these narcissists spiral after you block them? This is, I don't know. This helps me just sit with all of it and be super clear. And I don't know. When I learned about all of this, it did help me feel better in this situation. Number one, I've talked about this.

(02:59)

The narcissist doesn't want you. What do they want? Class control over you. It's all about the control. It's about the access, the option to push your buttons, rile you up. They like that. I know. Not cool, but at this point, you probably know that they want the supply. That's my favorite word, having to do with narcissists, because that's all they want. The supply with the control, your reactions, your emotions, your attention, that feeds them. So when you block them, you are taking their drug away. You're cutting off the hit. And for a narcissist that is panic mode, which can look like different things. So there can be sudden rage, right? There could be rage, just, oh my gosh. Let's say you blocked 'em on the phone. Then they, but not the social media. They might come over in your social media, they might show up at your house.

(03:59)

They might get through a friend, get some message to you, and they may be ragey or love bombing attempts. They might call, and I've had this experience too, from new phone numbers or new emails. I had a narcissist create a whole new profile just to contact me. It also might look like those smear campaigns. This is very, very, very common because this is an easy access way. Sometimes narcissists can be lazy. So instead of having to go to the efforts of creating new this or that, they're like, well, we have mutual friends. We have mutual family. I'm already talking to, I'm going to, basically, they will make up stuff about you. Twist things into totally different situations, badmouth you, make your mutual friends and family turn against you. There's also the lurking. I have a public profile. Let's say TikTok. I can see right people.

(05:09)

I can see who is viewing my stories or my reels. So you might be in a situation like that where they are lurking. They might drive by your place, get those cameras in order. Another thing is guilt tripping or using flying monkeys, their they're little puppets to check in for them. So again, there's a lot of different ways that they will try to get closer to you. So this isn't proof. You hurt them. It's proof you are healing you. So let's flip the script. You might think, wow, they really must care if they're reacting this much. No, no. They care that they've lost their freaking grip. Their ego is bruised. This whole illusion of control is shattered. They cannot stand it, but that isn't love. So I want you to be very, very clear. Some of you already know this and you just want them out.

(06:15)

Some of you are going, are they trying so hard? Because I'm so special and there's a special bond between us and they love me so much. This is a character trait of love and passion. No, this is entitlement. This is their bruised ego being very upset. Don't confuse their chaos with care for you. This reaction is not a sign of your worth. I'm sorry. You're beautiful, you're awesome, you're worthy, but this is not a sign of your worth. It's a sign of your growth, right? You are growing away from them and they can't stand it again, not because of you, but because of their need for control and that supply that you were giving them at some point, and now you're not. And they're very upset about it. So how do you protect your peace and stay in that zone? How do you get basically unshakeable? So the number one advice I always love to give, as you know, is no responding. Not even once they wait. They wait for that crack in the door, even a leave me alone. Text is supply for them. Silence is your best weapon. It is your best weapon against the chaos.

(07:41)

And you can have a beautiful visualization of this picture, a lot of chaos, and then silence next to each other. Doesn't it make sense that the best weapon against that would just be silence and calm? So no responding, not even a little, not a thumbs up, not an okay, nothing. Don't even say leave me alone. Number two, tighten up all those digital and energetic boundaries. So make sure your mutual friends are not passing any information along. And this again, has happened to me in my own family. You have to ask people, please do not give information about me. Cut it off. You are the one with that control. And if you can't trust that person, then you don't tell them information. You don't want to be shared. And if they cross your boundaries, that middle person, I mean, sorry. Bye. I am quick to get rid of someone who does not respect my boundaries.

(08:43)

So remove them if you have to from your socials, block them and keep the narcissist obviously blocked everywhere. That's phone, that's email, that's all your socials. And reaffirm why you block them in the first place. Revisit the journal. Maybe you journaled about it, right? Or maybe you need to make a journal entry about it that you can go back to when you're feeling bad or guilty about blocking them. Write down how they made you feel. I'm not talking just saying I felt sad or I felt scared. I want you to write the visceral reactions. Your body, this feeling. I felt tight in my chest. I felt terrified to the point I was shaking. I felt like I could barely talk. My tight and my neck was so tight. Let that be your fuel as a reminder of just how impactful this is on not just your mind but your body and support yourself like crazy.

(09:46)

Be your own B, f, F. Listen to the podcasts, meditate. Do that. Nervous system work. I'm all about somatic healing. I will pop my link in the description. If you would like to sign up for a session. I'm telling you, it is epic. You want to talk about resetting your nervous system from the body, not just talk. Therapy is amazing. I'm a big advocate. Obviously I do coaching myself and mindset work, but when you go from the body girl, it's a whole different thing. And lean on safe people who get it, not the mutual friends that still talk to this person. Okay, I'm sorry, that ain't it. You need to lean on safe people that are going to uplift you, validate your feelings, and give you hugs and pink sprinkle donuts. Okay, speaking of which, can I just tell you how amazing the people in my life that I have now are compared to when I wasn't choosing so well?

(10:49)

I have these new friends in my life, and I'm bringing this up because this is a part of narcissistic abuse. You can attract controlling people or people who don't want you to shine. And since I'm later in my healing journey, and I have found some amazing friends, my dad passed last week, that was so hard. The amount of people that I've recently met, really quality, uplifting, amazing people, how they've shown up, I said pink sprinkled donuts, because one of my best friends brought me my favorite Krispy Kreme donuts, right? My friend showed up yesterday with flowers and a wind chime that had something related about death on it. And she also brought me a donut tea towel for the kitchen and just was like, let's chat. These are people that I have chosen very intentionally later in my life after realizing I wasn't choosing people, they were choosing me. And with narcissistic abuse recovery, you want to make sure you're choosing and you're choosing well, people that are really good, solid, uplifting, positive influences in your life. So little side note, just a side note. Someone needed to hear that, right? Alright, so let's get to this pep talk. I love a good pep talk and maybe we'll do an extra pep talk on Thursday related to this. Maybe a longer one, but I want to just leave you with this. You're not the villain. You are the queen warrior.

(12:27)

You're not wrong for blocking them. You're not mean. You're not dramatic or sensitive. Repeat that one, please. I am not dramatic or sensitive. That's right. You're not. You are freeing yourself from manipulation and you are choosing peace over that chaos. You're not the villain in their twisted story. Their truth isn't even their truth. Their story isn't even true, the truth. And essentially, you are the hero in your healing journey. And that might sound like cheesy, but really you're saving yourself right now. Do you get that? Do you get how big that is? You are saving yourself. And if you have kids, your kids, you are breaking this cycle. So you are a hero in your own healing journey. And guess what? Every time you don't respond or you block or you get that, just no more, you've reclaimed another piece of your power. Every time you stay, no contact and don't let that door creak open.

(13:46)

Your nervous system gets safer and calmer every time you choose, you win. Say that again. Every time I like how I'm talking myself, I'm like, say it again, Christie. Every time you choose you, you win. So their spiral is not your responsibility, their pain, their panic, their stories, not yours to hold anymore. Block, bless, keep healing forward. I am so proud of you. You are fierce, you are brave, and this is unshakeable. You hold onto this and you stay in your truth, not their fake shit out there. Okay? So until next time, Thursday, we have our Thrive in five. Stay in your power. Make sure to follow my podcast so you get the little notifications that are like Chris, do at it again, every Tuesday and Thursday. Tuesdays are my longer episodes. And then we have our Thrive in five, which are basically somatic healing. That could be breath work, that could be meditations, visualizations, affirmations. I did a prayer last week about my father that I hoped could also help anyone else grieving just for a hard situation. Okay? So just some examples. So definitely follow the podcast. I'd love you to join my Facebook community, and I will talk to you in the next episode.

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