Your Favorite You

So many of my clients come to me with very little pleasure in their day-to-day lives, and I want to change that. Research suggests that prioritizing pleasure correlates with greater emotional wellbeing, at least in the short run. Simple pleasures are part of a good life. They help make life worth living. Who here does not want to have a life worth living? Imagine spending your time with people who prioritize, pleasure, and want you to do the same?

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I used to have a story that it was hard to make friends as an adult woman, and believed I was different from the other moms in my vicinity because I had a full-time job and many of the other moms were stay at home moms.  I thought I might be "too much" for some people if I was truly myself with the people I was meeting. The step to overcoming the story, and becoming my favorite version of me, meant being in all of my divinity, and all of my humanity, and loving all the light parts and the dark parts.

Interestingly, when you enjoy who you are and love every one of your bits, it gives off a vibe of self-confidence that's attractive. Not surprisingly, you start to attract people who are like-minded and who have done or are doing the work on themselves to like themselves as well, and that makes it very easy to make friends with similar values.

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Today we have a very special episode. It is the original interview with one of my OG clients who is a complete badass. If you've been following me on social media, or if you've listened to previous podcasts, I have already shouted this amazing woman, Nicole Plantner out multiple times. I am so inspired by her, and the person that she was before she came to coaching, and certainly her new favorite version of herself now, which is equally and incredibly amazing.  I worked with Nicole for about a year and a half, shortly after the pandemic hit, she hit a roadblock, and knew something had to change.

Click HERE to listen to her incredible transformation, and how she became her favorite version of herself. 

Being a human really does take a village, and so many of us are out here trying to be all things to all people. In order to heal or fix something, you have to see it first. Then you figure out what is in your control, the role that you want to play, and then you do that. We have been socialized for years to think that we have to beat ourselves up to get stuff done. To achieve self-compassion was never offered as the path toward having the life you want. You can use curiosity and compassion as a way to get to know your favorite you on a much deeper level.

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I firmly believe that the universe gives you little whispers, and then if you don't listen to the whispers, the universe gets louder and louder until it's practically shouting at you. In my experience, if many of us ever knew "the how" of acquiring or achieving anything that's worth having, we would never sign up for it. The how reveals itself only in the doing. Thinking you need to know the how ahead of time is a dream-killer. Just when you think you have it all figured out, life throws you a curve ball.

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We only have this one life that we're living right now, and the relationship you have with yourself is the only one that lasts for your entire life here on earth. No one is coming to save you or force you to make your relationship with yourself better. One of the most fun things that happens when you start living your life for you, is that other people start to learn from your example. They see you out in the world being a total badass, and they get the idea that the same life may be also possible for them too.

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One of the keys to having a full life that you're not constantly trying to avoid or not constantly trying to do things to make life more tolerable, is to actually feel ALL your f*cking feelings. Many of us were told at some point in our childhood over and over again that big feelings were to be avoided at all costs. We were hushed when we were too excited, or we were ashamed for feeling sadness or disappointment or told whatever we were upset about was not that big of a deal. This episode digs into why it's important to process your feelings, and how it holds the magical key to our mental and physical well-being.

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As I've gained compassion for myself and wisdom about why I was so fixated on controlling everything in my life, I came up with the term “control enthusiasm.” 

I used to think that in order to be happy, I had to control everyone else I cared about and make it so that they were happy too, or at least pretending to be happy for my sake. 

Once we start approving ourself, no matter the outcome, no matter what we do or don't do, we hold the keys to our own life, and that is a powerful realization.

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We all people-please, because we want other people to like us, or it wasn't safe for us, not to people-please when we were younger. This behavior causes us do things to make other people happy so that they will ultimately like us, or not abandon us, which of course is one of our greatest fears. 

Most of us were raised to think that being selfless and doing for others was more important than doing for ourselves. We can tell people-pleasing to suck it and say YES to the things that ignite us, and NO to the things that are not a f*ck yes as long as you're putting yourself on the list and doing for you what you want.

Click HERE to get the full show notes.