Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

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Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura are comedians who are also married. They are the Mommies and they welcome you to join them in watching wild videos, chatting with celebrity guests and sharing stories! Pull those jeans high and tight and welcome to the Mommy-Dome.

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Hey Jeans! This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina kick things off with some good old fashioned white woman cringe. From Fergie massacring the national anthem to Kim Cattrall scatting, we've got a gauntlet of embarrassing singing in public for you to enjoy. Tom then opens the show with a clip of a wild mattress flip, before the Main Mommies get an update from Tony Johns, whose recent stint behind bars has put his Vegas plans on hold.

They then speculate on what King Ass Ripper, the cool guy who got away, has been up to. The two also talk about learning to speak mother tongues, black dudes not being amused by gay stuff, a vision update, buckets of brown, Enny thoughts, plus some horrible or hilarious clips, and a Vietnamese hair salon with a questionable name. Don't forget to check your b holes for sores!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 809

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Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:02:00 - Fergie's Greatest Hits

00:05:56 - Clip: Kim Cattrall Scatting

00:08:17 - Clip: Big Jessica Simpson Energy

00:09:32 - Opening Clip: Bed Flip

00:14:45 - Tony Johns Is Locked Up

00:22:46 - Mother Tongue

00:31:18 - The Cool Guy Who Got Away

00:42:38 - Black Dudes Don't Like The Gay Stuff

00:45:37 - Vision Update + Tom's Poo Buckets

00:54:05 - Clip: Sores In Ma B Hole

00:54:50 - A New Challenge

00:59:07 - Enny Thoughts

01:03:46 - Horrible Or Hilarious

01:06:54 - Vietnamese Hair Salon

01:11:08 - Dates

01:12:51 - Closing Song - "Fart Mic Assassins" by Brothers & Hendawg

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Hey Jeans! This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina are back from Fantasy Island and the Mommies kick things off with a classic opening clip that'll have you saying, "What?!"
They catch up on Tony Johns’ latest adventures — including his Vegas sex scene and current courtroom drama — plus a surprise call from RPC where he seems down to drop everything and join the Vegas fun! Next, Tom drops the trailer for his brand-new Netflix show and debuts it for the all the Mommies first. Tim and Kirsten also weigh in on Mick Jagger’s wedding, Keanu’s appropriately aged girlfriend, Gwyneth Paltrow’s face situation, and why taking care of yourself before you're too old is the move. They next go down a TikTok rabbit hole which includes bad haircuts, buffets, secret menu items, portal jumping, Little Debbie honey buns, and fat-shaming in Thailand. All this, plus some music dreams, rougey cocktails, underage drinking nostalgia, lipstick plugs, and a whole lot of gay corn jokes. Pull those jeans up!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 808

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Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:02:54 - Fantasy Island

00:09:49 - Opening Clip: WHAT?!

00:14:50 - Tony Johns + RPC Collab?

00:29:33 - YMH Exclusive: Bad Thoughts Full Trailer Premiere

00:35:46 - Lipstick Plug & Greased Up

00:37:55 - Mick Jagger Got Married

00:42:19 - Taking Care Of Yourself

00:48:22 - Clip: Ms. Pat Asks Trick Daddy About Diddy

00:49:32 - Clip: Black Light Daddy Pop Star

00:53:25 - Adult Beverages

01:01:47 - Christina's Curations

01:15:09 - Closing Song - "Any C*m In Those Balls" by TPK

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Pull your jeans all the way up over your head because Tom Segura and Christina P are back for another week of Your Mom's House Podcast! Tom wants to have some fun and so does the guy in the opening clip. The Main Mommies also talk about a local news station tweeting a slur, neck veins, broads in space, influencers with down syndrome, and then share some more of "Enny's Thoughts."

We then welcome comedian Brad Williams into the MommyDome! Tom and Christina talk to him about dwarf fetishes, a new slur for tall people, Tiptoes, and Brad's thoughts on the new Snow White movie out in theaters. They also talk about the "Allah" of LP's, short people jokes, the challenge of following Brad's act, and bringing back shame in commonplace society. They also check out some horrible or hilarious clips and Toks! Try it out.

Your Mom’s House Ep. 807

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Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:04:10 - Opening Clip: Let's Have Fun

00:08:35 - Clip: Farting Baddie

00:10:52 - Clip: 8 Head

00:12:23 - Big Word Blunder

00:19:17 - Clip: YMH Muppets

00:22:03 - Low-IQ Adults & Downs Influencers

00:25:29 - More Of Enny's Inner Thoughts

00:30:56 - Clip: Baseball Sock

00:37:55 - Clip: Neck Veins

00:39:42 - Broads In Space

00:42:28 - Nobody Can Follow Brad Williams

00:49:13 - Little Person Jokes

00:58:21 - Snow White & Tiptoes

01:05:55 - Try It Out

01:09:18 - A Christina P Thought & Ivanka Trump

01:18:29 - Horrible Or Hilarious

01:25:51 - TikToks

01:34:08 - Shame

01:40:36 - Wrap Up

01:41:47 - Closing Song - "RubRub Song" by DJ BOY BUTTER

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This week on Your Mom’s House, it’s just the Main Mommies in the saddle — and things get deeply personal and deeply disgusting.

Tina gives us the full rundown on her recent colonoscopy journey, while a slightly jealous Tom has really leaned into his gross dad era — spitting loogies out the car window like an old Chinese man (Christine's words, not mine) and upping his fart game to unacceptable levels. They also give a brief review of The Minecraft Movie, praise Jason Mamoa, and discuss the rise of low-IQ adults on TikTok, and get into the latest unhinged chapter in the Tony Johns saga — this week included a landlord braw, an hour long arrest, and a little sledgehammering.

Plus, the Mommies revisit the legendary RPC’s Instagram for a reboot of an old classic clip, watch some horrible or hilarious videos, get re-acquainted with the Alaskan Avenger, and Tom shows some wild glove art from his show in Oklahoma City.

Grab your bidet, lower your IQ, and let’s get weird.

Your Mom’s House Ep. 805

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Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:01:15 - Tina's Colonoscopy

00:06:39 - Disgusting Habits

00:13:10 - Opening Clip: Enny's Inner Thoughts

00:22:01 - Clip: Smelly Flatulence

00:26:36 - RPC: Rebooted

00:36:03 - Minecraft Movie & Low-IQ Adults

00:42:43 - Tony Johns

00:47:53 - Clip: Soft Security

00:49:07 - Horrible Or Hilarious

00:53:00 - Spring Jackets

00:59:56 - The Alaskan Avenger

01:04:49 - Clip: Precious Man-Baby

01:08:01 - Clip: Water Cannons Are Scary

01:09:50 - Tour Dates

01:10:44 - Glove Actually

01:13:33 - Closing Song -"F.A.R.T." by Billy Robot

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A hole is a hole, partner! These are the famous words of the modern day Dirk Diggler, Mr. Tony Johns who drops in for this week's YMH! Before Tony calls in, Tom and Christine talk about their trip back from the UK, which included a visit to the Tower of London, where the kids were eager to see the torture devices. Tom also reveals he has evolved into a guy who shits on airplanes after turning 40 and then shares some stories about playing in Madison Square Garden, where Redman, Chrissy D, and Joey Diaz opened for him on an unforgettable night. They also talk CP’s desire for Bauhaus to open for her, Big Dad Energy, and shout out London’s food scene while criticizing Europe’s shitty public toilet situation. They then finally get to the opening clip featuring the phrase “Grippy Garfield”, which you'll have to watch and find out about on your own. They also discuss overweight flight attendants, the Baldwins being cringe once again, a schizo lady in a Canadian government conspiracy, the family cloth, and a hot chick farting for content. Oh, also “BREED” makes an appearance, and Tom is so excited to cover the latest Tony Johns drama, recalling all of his recent chaotic moments. Tony Johns next joins the show and talks about dealing with a bully coworker at Walmart, a scary landlord, and his OnlyFans ventures, including his film debut in the works featuring Alexis Fawx. Finally, Tom wraps the insane episode up by mocking a racist white lady’s wedding speech at an interracial marriage. Wooooo come on wit it!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 804

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Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:00:52 - UK Trip, Big Dad Energy, & Plane Poopies

00:07:20 - Madison Square Garden

00:13:36 - European Public Toilets

00:15:57 - Opening Clip: Grippy Garfield

00:23:26 - Fat Flight Attendants

00:29:59 - Those Damn Baldwins

00:37:50 - Schizo Evelyn Montage

00:40:18 - Clip: Family Cloth

00:41:35 - Clip: Farting Baddie

00:44:20 - The Life & Times Of Tony Johns

01:01:32 - Tony Johns Sets The Record Straight

01:09:12 - More Wild & Crazy Stories

01:16:47 - Making Dreams Come True

01:21:33 - Clip: Cone To The Face

01:22:09 - Clip: Dumb Push-ups

01:22:38 - Clip: Well Done Ribs

01:23:12 - Cool Guy Collabs

01:24:56 - Shitty Wedding Speech

01:33:38 - Wrap Up

01:35:30 - Closing Song "I Got A DUI, Baby" by grasskingdoms & Fart Simpson

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This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina welcome anti-aging expert and biohacker Bryan Johnson to talk about the ultimate goal: not dying. Bryan breaks down his "Don’t Die" program, which involves everything from hyperbaric chambers, drinking lots of olive oil, and shock waving your penis.

Before Bryan joins in, Tom and Christina open the show by clowning on some rich guy influencers and check out some of Hilaria Baldwin’s unhinged reality show.

Next, Bryan enters the Mommy Dome and briefs Tom and Christine on his entire lifestyle process, plus he even even gifts them some of his special olive oil. Tim and Kirsten also grill Bryan on some other crucial health hacks include coffee enemas, sharpening your own "sword", and piss drinking. They also touch on Bryan’s Mormon upbringing, his secrets for a better night' sleep, and whether owning a jet is actually worth it. If you want to live forever watch this episode ya chomo!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 803

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Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:04:48 - Opening Clip: Psychotic Roofing Conference

00:07:39 - Clip: Who Is This Dangerous Guy?

00:08:50 - Clip: Fancy Trainer

00:10:43 - Clip: Fired A Client

00:12:01 - Clip: Cool Dudes On A Plane

00:24:23 - Hilaria Baldwin

00:34:18 - Bryan Johnson Won't Die

00:43:03 - Anti-Aging Secrets

00:48:58 - Clip: Urine Therapy

00:51:28 - The Father, Son, & Holy Pineal Gland

00:56:57 - Diet & Olive Oil

01:06:23 - Hyperbaric Chambers

01:12:28 - Fun Stuff & Tom's Routine

01:18:24 - Clip: Coffee Enema Queen

01:19:55 - Clip: Rub, Rub, Rub

01:24:00 - Shockwaving Peeners

01:27:53 - Bryan's Personal Life

01:33:26 - Cool Rich Guy Stuff

01:40:04 - Dying Is Dumb

01:50:14 - Closing Song - "Piss On Me Beat Me" by Zach

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