Black Girl Burnout

You're Not Tired, You're Tapped Out


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In this episode of Black Girl Burnout, Kelley shares the powerful truth that exhaustion isn’t always about needing more sleep. Sometimes, your body is tapped out—living in chronic stress and unable to downshift into rest. Drawing from her own story of nervous system dysregulation, she unpacks how years of carrying too much can leave you wired even while exhausted. This conversation is an invitation to pause, reset, and explore practices that bring your body back to safety.

Key Takeaways:
  • Being tapped out means your nervous system is stuck in stress mode—it’s different from simple tiredness.
  • Chronic stress can disrupt sleep, spike heart rate, and create physical symptoms even at rest.
  • Black women are often conditioned to self-silence and normalize pain, leading to hidden depletion.
  • Vacations, catch-up naps, or “pushing through” don’t heal nervous system dysregulation.
  • True restoration comes from nervous system resets, boundaries, joy practices, and professional support.
Episode Highlights:
  • 00:38 – Kelley's story: sleep struggles, smart ring tracking, and discovering heart rate spikes
  • 03:18 – Learning her nervous system was stuck in stress mode
  • 05:29 – The deeper difference between tiredness and being tapped out
  • 07:06 – How cultural self-silencing leads to chronic stress in Black women
  • 09:20 – Why ignoring symptoms or relying only on vacations doesn’t help
  • 12:13 – Small nervous system resets anyone can try
  • 13:27 – Boundaries and the importance of daily self-care
  • 13:55 – Normalizing medical and therapeutic support
  • 15:18 – Joy resets: music, rituals, creativity
  • 17:13 – Reflection prompt: How do you know when you’re tapped out?
Gentle Reflection Prompt:

What’s one sign for you that you’re tapped out—not just tired?

If this episode resonates, share it with someone who might be running on empty without realizing it. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps other Black women find the show and start their own journey out of burnout.

Support the Show

Are you stepping into a “Summer of No”? Whether you’re canceling plans for rest, setting fresh boundaries, or saying no to what drains you, you don’t owe anyone guilt. Take a moment this week to capture what freedom looks like for you. Snap a pic or video of your joy and tag us:

📱 @blackgirlburnout

📧 Subscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.com

📺 Watch the episode on YouTube

💌 Show some love—don’t let Kelley’s mama be the only one dropping hearts!

Have a question for our upcoming Q&A episode? [Click here to submit your questions!]

Stay In Touch

Want more ways to connect with the Black Girl Burnout community?

✨ Join our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.

✨ Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources and tools to support your burnout-free life.

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Black Girl BurnoutBy Kelley Bonner

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