Joshua A. Shea is a recovering pornography addict who is here to shed a different light on the topic of porn addiction and what goes on inside the mind of a porn addict. Joshua’s 20-year addiction came to a head when he pulled himself off his bipolar medication and engaged an underage girl in an online chat room. Now sober, out of prison and still living with his wife and children, Joshua is here to explain the real motivating factors behind his own personal porn addiction. 

For Joshua, it was never about the pornography or the alcohol but instead about the control he gained from using this material. If you have been hurt by someone’s porn usage or want to gain a better understanding of the decision-making process of a pornography addict, this is an episode you need to listen too.

Despite the fact that many adults look at pornography, it is a topic that nobody wants to talk about. Joshua wants to open up that conversation and shine a light on the problem of pornography addiction to help others who may be struggling as well. If you are the spouse or the partner of a pornography addict, Joshua wants to make sure that you know that it has nothing to do with you and provide you with insights to help you understand that there is no stereotypical addict. 

Do you or somebody that you love struggle with pornography addiction? Share this episode with them and let us know how transformation has proven possible for you in the comments on the episode page.

 

In This Episode

• Understanding the role of past trauma, alcohol and control played in Joshua’s addiction
• Why you should not confuse intercourse with a pornography addiction
• Learn how Joshua’s wife handled the situation and did the work to heal
• Explore what recovery looks like now and the importance of being willing to try
• Addressing the way that the Internet is changing society and pornography usage

 

Quotes

“Pornography and the alcohol, they both allowed me to escape someplace else. They allowed me to go somewhere where I was in control. And that ultimately is what my pornography addiction specifically was about my entire life.” (5:07)

“I think I even made the joke back then that all of these different people would only ever meet at my funeral, and they would all have very different stories to share with one another because they all knew different versions of me.” (10:46)

“Despite the magazine falling apart, despite the fact that I was drinking more and my relationships with my family were falling apart, life was crumbling, and the one place that I could exert control was in the middle of the night in these chat rooms.” (17:10)

“I don’t blame the addiction for what I did. The addiction did make me get out of control, it did make me not recognize cause and effect and not recognize what could happen and make poor decisions. However, I made the very poor decision to pull myself off my bipolar medication.” (21:41)

“Despite the fact that the vast majority of people are looking at pornography, everybody wants to pretend that they don’t. And if everybody pretends that they don’t look at pornography, I am not even saying addicts, but if everybody pretends that they don’t look at pornography, how can we even begin to have conversations about pornography addiction?” (29:12)

 

Links

Recovering Porn Addict Website

The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About by Joshua Shea

 

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/89

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