Sign up to save your podcasts
Or
Share 104: Put yourself FIRST this Christmas đđ how DE-CENTERING your partner can actually bring you closer
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Or
104: Put yourself FIRST this Christmas đđ how DE-CENTERING your partner can actually bring you closer
đ Free Stuff
Quick 3-min Attachment Quiz
(Know your type so you do the right work)
â Take Quiz: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
Free Attachment Library
(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)
â https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
Â
đ Courses
ON SALE: ⨠Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over TextsÂ
(because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
â Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
Â
ON SALE: ⨠How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)
â Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
Â
đŹ Work 1:1 with Me
Personal Coaching
(Shift anxious attachment & reclaim your energy)
â All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching
(Daily support + check-ins straight to your phone)
â Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
Â
Feeling anxious, overlooked, or way too focused on your partner this Christmas? đ
This episode shows you why putting yourself FIRST is the thing that actually brings your partner closer⌠not further away.
If youâve been carrying the whole holiday on your shouldersâŚ
If youâre replaying his textsâŚ
If youâre trying to âmake Christmas perfectâ so he doesnât pull awayâŚ
this is the episode youâve been needing.Â
Youâll hear the truth about what happens when you stop centering himâŚ
and start centering YOU.
Â
Youâll learn:
đ why your nervous system is so triggered during the holidays
âď¸ why your anxious brain wants him to fix everything
đ how de-centering him stops the chasing cycle
đŻ how boundaries actually create connection
𧣠how micro-traditions make you feel grounded again
đ why focusing on your own joy makes you more magnetic, not âselfishâ
Â
This is for you if youâre tired of:
⨠waiting for him to make plans
⨠walking on eggshells around his mood
⨠feeling like Christmas depends on how much he shows up
⨠shrinking yourself so you donât âruin the vibeâ
Inside this episode, youâll get the deeper WHY behind all of it...
the attachment science, the anxious-avoidant patterns, the nervous-system piece
all explained in simple, calm, friend-to-friend language. â¨đ§Ł
Youâll hear the exact steps to:
⨠regulate YOUR body first
⨠create micro-joy without waiting for him
⨠set boundaries without guilt
⨠build traditions that center you
⨠stop chasing, over-functioning, and people-pleasing
Â
And yes⌠we talk about the magic part:
how de-centering him is what actually makes him come closer.
Not because youâre playing a gameâŚ
but because youâre finally full, calm, grounded, and in your own power. â¨đ
If you want a lighter ChristmasâŚ
a calmer bodyâŚ
a deeper connection without pressureâŚ
and a relationship that feels less like survival modeâŚ
this episode is your reset.
Let it play while you wrap gifts, take a walk in the cold air âď¸,
light a candle, drink your warm coffee âď¸
and feel the pressure melt off your body little by little.
And if this hits home and you want help healing your anxious attachmentâŚ
my 1:1 coaching and entry-level offers are open.
You donât have to spend another Christmas feeling like youâre ânot enough.âÂ
Â
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Putting Yourself First This Christmas
01:06 1. You can create magic without him
04:15 2. Boundaries are love
12:14 3. Regulate your nervous system first
13:36 4. Micro-traditions that center YOU
17:52 5. Decentering him actually brings you closer
19:19 Closing pep note
Â
Â
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
Â
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
Â
View all episodes
By Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach
3.5
22 ratings
đ Free Stuff
Quick 3-min Attachment Quiz
(Know your type so you do the right work)
â Take Quiz: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
Free Attachment Library
(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)
â https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
Â
đ Courses
ON SALE: ⨠Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over TextsÂ
(because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
â Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
Â
ON SALE: ⨠How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)
â Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
Â
đŹ Work 1:1 with Me
Personal Coaching
(Shift anxious attachment & reclaim your energy)
â All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching
(Daily support + check-ins straight to your phone)
â Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
Â
Feeling anxious, overlooked, or way too focused on your partner this Christmas? đ
This episode shows you why putting yourself FIRST is the thing that actually brings your partner closer⌠not further away.
If youâve been carrying the whole holiday on your shouldersâŚ
If youâre replaying his textsâŚ
If youâre trying to âmake Christmas perfectâ so he doesnât pull awayâŚ
this is the episode youâve been needing.Â
Youâll hear the truth about what happens when you stop centering himâŚ
and start centering YOU.
Â
Youâll learn:
đ why your nervous system is so triggered during the holidays
âď¸ why your anxious brain wants him to fix everything
đ how de-centering him stops the chasing cycle
đŻ how boundaries actually create connection
𧣠how micro-traditions make you feel grounded again
đ why focusing on your own joy makes you more magnetic, not âselfishâ
Â
This is for you if youâre tired of:
⨠waiting for him to make plans
⨠walking on eggshells around his mood
⨠feeling like Christmas depends on how much he shows up
⨠shrinking yourself so you donât âruin the vibeâ
Inside this episode, youâll get the deeper WHY behind all of it...
the attachment science, the anxious-avoidant patterns, the nervous-system piece
all explained in simple, calm, friend-to-friend language. â¨đ§Ł
Youâll hear the exact steps to:
⨠regulate YOUR body first
⨠create micro-joy without waiting for him
⨠set boundaries without guilt
⨠build traditions that center you
⨠stop chasing, over-functioning, and people-pleasing
Â
And yes⌠we talk about the magic part:
how de-centering him is what actually makes him come closer.
Not because youâre playing a gameâŚ
but because youâre finally full, calm, grounded, and in your own power. â¨đ
If you want a lighter ChristmasâŚ
a calmer bodyâŚ
a deeper connection without pressureâŚ
and a relationship that feels less like survival modeâŚ
this episode is your reset.
Let it play while you wrap gifts, take a walk in the cold air âď¸,
light a candle, drink your warm coffee âď¸
and feel the pressure melt off your body little by little.
And if this hits home and you want help healing your anxious attachmentâŚ
my 1:1 coaching and entry-level offers are open.
You donât have to spend another Christmas feeling like youâre ânot enough.âÂ
Â
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Putting Yourself First This Christmas
01:06 1. You can create magic without him
04:15 2. Boundaries are love
12:14 3. Regulate your nervous system first
13:36 4. Micro-traditions that center YOU
17:52 5. Decentering him actually brings you closer
19:19 Closing pep note
Â
Â
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
Â
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
Â
More shows like The Anxious To Secure PODCAST
View all
Love Life With Matthew Hussey
2,659 Listeners
Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
820 Listeners
The Mark Groves Podcast
4,719 Listeners
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
27,378 Listeners
LETâS TALK ATTACHMENTS
281 Listeners
The Thais Gibson Podcast
296 Listeners
Unf*ck Your Relationships
230 Listeners
On Attachment
1,049 Listeners
Jillian on Love
1,405 Listeners
LYSS
2,431 Listeners
The Mel Robbins Podcast
19,574 Listeners
Rikki and Jimmy on Relationships
283 Listeners
The Sabrina Zohar Show
5,022 Listeners
BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko
36 Listeners
Healing Anxious Attachment
66 Listeners