Playing With Fire

106 The conversation that will change your life: Power dynamics for non-kinksters


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It's no secret that we started our relationship in a bad place.

Together, we worked and learned our way from a painful, confused state to a conscious, growth-oriented, and gentle love.

We transformed that messy, painful relationship by taking a page (several thousand pages, actually) from the world of kink.

Kinksters regularly talk about power exchange--we think everyone should.

Every single day Joli hears from people who don't recognize that unnegotiated power dynamics are creating suffering in their most cherished relationships.

Want an unconventionally happy life? You've got to start dealing with the power dynamics in your relationships.

In this episode, we're talking about how we:

  • make power visible in our daily life
  • unpack old icky-but-comfortable manipulative habits
  • practice reading each other's minds (you can too!)
  • make (& keep) thoughtful, creative agreements rather than rely on social norms for security

  • Referenced in the episode:

    Playing Well with Others by Lee Harrington & Mollena Williams (if you love that, check out Mollena's podcast All That and Mo')


    Thinking about opening your relationship? Joli has a free salon happening soon to get you started with the 5 pillars you NEED to do it well.

    ...more
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    Playing With FireBy Joli Hamilton

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