After the Affair

109. You Cheated, So Why Am I the One Fixing Things? (1/3)


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In this episode of After the Affair, we dive into a frustrating dynamic that many betrayed partners face after infidelity, the unfair expectation that they should be the ones to fix the relationship.

You didn’t break it, so why is it your job to pick up the pieces?

We’ll explore the imbalance that happens when the betrayed partner is left carrying the emotional weight, expected to forgive and move forward while the unfaithful partner seems off the hook.

This episode is the first part of a three-part mini-series where we’re exploring the imbalance that often lingers after infidelity, both in relationships that stay together and in those that don’t.

Key Topics Covered:

  1. The Obligation Swing:
  • Why does the betrayed partner feel like they’re the one tasked with fixing the relationship?
  • The Emotional Burden of the Betrayed:
    • How this imbalance can lead to resentment and hinder real healing.
  • What Happens When One Partner Refuses to Take Responsibility:
    • The impact on the relationship when the unfaithful partner doesn’t share the burden of healing.

    Reflective Question:

    Are you taking on more than your fair share of responsibility for fixing the relationship? How can you reclaim balance?

    Next Episode Teaser:

    In the next episode, we’ll flip the script and look at the other side, what happens when the unfaithful partner is doing everything right, but the betrayed partner remains closed off. We’ll explore why this imbalance can be just as difficult to navigate.

    Connect with Luke:

    • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
  • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
  • Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

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    After the AffairBy Luke Shillings

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