If you’ve ever been told your child is ‘defiant’, ‘rude’, or ‘lazy’—this episode is for you.

Tania Waring is back to unpack how stress behaviours are misread as misbehaviour in classrooms. Drawing on her PhD research into co-regulation and inclusive education, Tania explains what’s really going on for ADHD and autistic students—and why the classroom itself can fuel or relieve their distress.

We talk about why behaviour systems like marbles-in-the-jar and Dojo points don’t work for neurodivergent kids, and how regulation starts with the adult in the room. We cover practical ways teachers (and parents) can co-regulate, build trust, and support children in distress without punishing them for brain-based struggles.

This episode is honest, emotional, and full of tools for both home and school. If you’ve ever felt alone advocating for your child—or if you’re a teacher desperate for something that actually works—this conversation will validate what you already know and help you name it out loud.

Need support navigating school chaos?
Making School Work is your go-to advocacy guide for when your neurodivergent child isn’t coping — and the school says they’re fine. Packed with scripts, templates, and clarity for IEPs, school refusal, and shutdowns, it helps you hold your ground in the rooms that matter.
Get it here: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/ 

Correction

In this episode, Tania mentioned there are no professional development (PD) requirements for teachers — however, she later discovered that wasn't quite correct and wanted to ensure this was added. In Australia, all registered teachers are required to complete a minimum number of PD hours annually to maintain their registration. For example, Queensland College of Teachers (QCT) mandates 20 hours of PD per year. You can read more here: QCT Professional Development Requirements.

📚 Mentioned in this episode:

• Berry Street Education Model
• Social Stencil neurodiversity-affirming SEL
• Mental Health Menu (Victoria DET)
• Books:
• The Neurodiverse Classroom – Victoria Honeybourne
• Creating Trauma-Informed, Strengths-Based Classrooms – Tom Brunzell
• Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools – Emily Kircher-Morris
• The Whole-Brain Child – Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson


• Universal Design for Learning (UDL) Guidelines

Resources Mentioned:

🔗 Sign our Change Petition here

🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here

🎧 Listener Questions please send here

🔗 Free Guides and Resources: https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/

Disability & Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD)

👩‍⚖️ Human Rights Commission: humanrights.gov.au

📚 References & Further Reading

• Disability Standards for Education 2005
  Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government

Disability Discrimination Act 1992
View the full legislation on the Federal Register

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TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

ADHD classroom behaviour, neurodivergent students school, ADHD school meltdown, trauma-informed teaching ADHD, co-regulation in education, stress behaviour vs misbehaviour, neurodiversity affirming strategies, inclusive education ADHD, autism shutdown at school, ADHD advocacy, classroom behaviour systems, Dojo points criticism, emotional regulation in school, ADHD support for teachers, Berry Street model, Universal Design for Learning ADHD, strength-based education, emotional safety in classrooms, behaviour as communication, ADHD discipline alternatives, neurodivergent parenting, supporting ADHD kids in school, autistic school experience, ADHD overwhelm school, masking and meltdown cycle, ADHD parenting, ADHD and school trauma.

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