Choosing to Stay

#111 Love Bombing: How to Recognize It, Protect Yourself, and Break the Cycle


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đź’” Episode Summary:This episode will help you understand what love bombing really is, how it shows up in relationships after betrayal, and why it can be a form of manipulation or emotional abuse.

âś… What love bombing is and what it isn't

âś… How to distinguish between genuine connection and manipulative intensity

âś… The red flags that indicate love bombing is occurring

âś… How it plays out in the betrayal and recovery cycle

✅ Why it feels so good—and why it can be so dangerous

âś… How to set healthy boundaries to protect your heart and clarity

âś… What to do if you are the one using love bombing as a coping or control strategy

âś… How to move toward authentic connection, not performance-based intimacy

🛑 If you've ever felt swept off your feet only to crash into confusion, guilt, or emotional chaos—this episode is for you.

🎯 Key Insight: Love bombing may look like love, but it's often about control, fear, or image management. Real love builds over time. It respects boundaries. It honors truth.

🛠️ Tools You'll Walk Away With:

  • Language to name love bombing when it happens

  • Reflective prompts for identifying if you're using love bombing behaviors

  • Supportive practices for reconnecting with your core needs and self-worth

Thank you for tuning in!

We’re here to support couples healing from infidelity and betrayal, offering encouragement. As certified relational recovery coaches, we are passionate about guiding you toward hope, empathy, and lasting healing.

Stay connected with us and access all the resources we offer—coaching sessions, groups, and more—by visiting this link.

Your Hosts:

Hali RoderickCertified Relational Recovery CoachTICC, ACC, APSATS CPC, ERCEM-C, Brainspotting Practitioner

Read Hali’s Bio

Stephanie HambyCertified Relational Recovery CoachMCLC, ACC, APSATS CPC, ERCEM-CRead Stephanie’s Bio

We look forward to journeying with you!

5.28

  • Common examples:

    • Constant compliments, grand gestures, lavish gifts, excessive apologies or promises.

    • Overwhelming reassurances like: “I’ll do anything to make this right” or “You’re the only thing that matters.”

  • The betrayer may use it to:

    • Avoid consequences or hard conversations.

    • Fast-track trust or reconciliation.

    • Manage their own guilt or shame.

    • Reassert control or secure their image.

  • The betrayed partner may crave it because:

    • It momentarily soothes trauma or anxiety.

    • It mimics the "high" of emotional connection.

    • It delays facing the pain or deeper work of healing.

  • You feel confused: “This feels good, but something’s off.”

  • You may feel pressured to respond with gratitude, forgiveness, or emotional closeness.

  • The affection may disappear as soon as conflict, boundaries, or accountability show up.

  • It bypasses consent and authentic healing.

  • It creates a trauma bond—confusion, hope, and fear wrapped together.

  • It can invalidate your real pain: “See? I’m being loving now. Isn’t that enough?”

  • It's often a protector part acting from fear—not a sign of true intimacy or growth.

  • Name it: “This feels overwhelming. I need more time and space to process.”

  • Ask: “Is this about me—or are you trying to make you feel better?”

  • Use grounding tools to reconnect with your nervous system.

  • Set limits: “I’m not ready for gifts or physical affection yet. I need actions over time.”

  • Get curious, not shameful: “What part of me is afraid or trying to control the outcome?”

  • Ask yourself:

    • “Am I trying to fix or rescue instead of take responsibility?”

    • “Am I making this about my pain instead of the harm I caused?”

  • Shift to authentic repair:

    • Slow down.

    • Take consistent, humble action.

    • Learn to sit with discomfort instead of performing love.

  • Love is steady, respectful, and attuned. It includes:

    • Consent.

    • Accountability.

    • Honesty.

  • Healthy connection honors the other person’s boundaries, feelings, and timing—not just your desire to reconnect.

  • Love bombing is a trauma response—on both sides.

  • It’s a signal, not a sentence. Use it as a doorway to deeper work.

  • Healing happens when we choose truth over intensity, and intimacy

...more
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