It's easy to rationalize the negative ways we talk or act toward our partner. In fact, rationalizing bad behavior often leads to conflict and the eroding of a relationship. Listen to this episode to learn why excuses and rationalizations creep into even the best of marriages, and how help couples identify and eliminate them.

In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include:

• Learn why it's so hard to be self aware when emotions are high and how to change this.
• Defending yourself versus being defensive and the important distinction between each.
• Why using "I" statements instead of "You" can make a huge improvement in the communication in your relationship.
• How to become self aware in order to avoid rationalizing bad behavior.
• Why we have negative reactions to being accused and how to change this communication on both sides.
• And much more!

Jason Whiting, Ph.D., is a professor at Brigham Young University who studies deception, conflict, and abuse in relationships, with the goal of helping couples become more loving and authentic. His book, Love Me True: Overcoming the Surprising Ways We Deceive in Relationships, looks at how partners can be more honest with themselves and each other. In addition to teaching, studying, and writing about relationships, Whiting is a licensed marriage and family therapist who works with couples in a clinical context.

Full Show Notes at http://idopodcast.com/117

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