ADHD Mums

12. QUICK RESET: I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing


Listen Later

If you’ve ever found yourself raging over a sock battle, losing it over a tantrum, or feeling shame after snapping at your child — this episode will meet you right there. It’s not just that your child is being ‘difficult’. It’s that their big feelings might be waking up parts of you that were never allowed to exist.

This Quick Reset unpacks the link between parenting rage and trauma stored in the body. We explore the concept of mirrored trauma — when your child expresses the exact emotions you were taught to suppress. If you were the “good girl” who never acted out, your child’s raw honesty can feel confronting. Even triggering.

But you’re not failing — you’re feeling. And there are ways to recognise it, reset, and shift the shame.

✨ In This Episode, We Cover:
– Why you might feel rage at small things (like socks or dinner refusal)
– What’s really happening when your child ‘won’t comply’
– How ‘good girl conditioning’ can collide with your child’s emotional honesty
– The neuroscience of mirrored trauma
– Self-check-ins for performance parenting
– Why your child’s defiance isn’t disobedience — it’s a dysregulated nervous system
– What to do when you feel the heat rising
– Real, honest stories from parenting in the trenches
– Reframing the “problem child” as a mirror of your own healing

💭 This episode is for you if:
You’ve ever wondered “Why do I lose it at the tiniest things?”
You feel like your child’s behaviour lights up something way bigger than the moment
You want to break generational patterns — but also feel pushed to the edge

🔗 Resources & Links:
• Join the Facebook community: ADHD Mums FB Group
• More resources & tools: www.adhdmums.com.au/shop

🔁 SHARE THIS RESET:
If this one hit hard, send it to a mum friend who’s also stuck in survival mode. Let her know: she’s not broken, she’s bracing.

Other Quick Reset Episodes:

  • S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast
  • S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify  | Apple Podcast
  • S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast
  • S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple Podcast
  • S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple Podcast
  • S3E17 How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds. Spotify | Apple Podcast
  • S3E18 Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead. Spotify | Apple Podcast

🎧 Listen Now
If you’ve ever left a meeting wondering what just happened – or held back tears while playing nice just to get a referral – this one’s for you. Hit play. Share it with a friend who’s fighting the same fight.

🧠 TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
mirrored trauma, ADHD mums, neurodivergent parenting, good girl conditioning, parenting rage, ADHD parenting, sensory kids, emotional honesty, shutdown, intergenerational trauma, gentle parenting realities, meltdown support, breaking cycles, neuroaffirming parenting, trauma-informed parenting, ADHD mum life, performance parenting, co-regulation, reparenting yourself, parenting and trauma.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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ADHD MumsBy Jane McFadden

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