After the Affair

125. Stuck Between Two Choices: Here’s What You’re Missing With Binary Thinking


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Feeling trapped between two impossible choices? Whether it’s staying in a relationship after betrayal or walking away, deciding whether to tell the full truth or keep things buried, or any other major life decision, binary thinking can make it seem like there are only two options, when, in reality, there are more.

In this episode, I explore how black-and-white thinking limits your ability to make the best decision for your future, why your brain naturally defaults to false dilemmas, and how to open up new possibilities that you might not have considered.

What You’ll Learn:

  • Why binary thinking feels so real, and why it’s rarely accurate.
  • How emotions can distort the way you see your choices.
  • The impact of cognitive rigidity on decision-making, especially after infidelity.
  • How to step back and find third (or fourth) options that align better with your personal needs.
  • Practical exercises to help you break free from “either/or” thinking and make more empowered decisions.
  • Key Takeaways:

    🔹 If you feel stuck between two extremes, it’s likely you’re missing other paths forward.

    🔹 High-stakes emotions make decisions feel urgent, but taking time to explore alternative perspectives reduces pressure and increases clarity.

    🔹 There are often creative, flexible solutions that don’t require you to conform to societal expectations of what “should” happen.

    🔹 By expanding your perspective, you gain control over your choices rather than feeling trapped by them.

    Next time you feel stuck between two options, challenge yourself to come up with at least three alternative choices. They don’t have to be perfect, but simply allowing your mind to expand beyond "this or that" can open doors to better possibilities.

    🎧 Tune in now to break free from binary thinking and start making decisions that truly align with YOU.

    Connect with Luke:

    • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
    • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
    • Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

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      After the AffairBy Luke Shillings

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