After the Affair

127. Desire vs. Choice: Understanding the Power You Have in an Affair


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Desire can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re caught up in an affair or emotional connection outside your primary relationship. It can seem like the attraction is uncontrollable like you have no say in what you feel. But what if I told you that while desire may not be a choice, what you do with it always is?

In this episode, we’re diving deep into the relationship between desire and choice. Whether you're struggling with an affair or facing unrequited love, this episode is all about regaining control. We’ll explore how to acknowledge your emotions without letting them define your actions, and how to make decisions that align with your values, not just your feelings.

Key Takeaways:

✔️ Desire is instinctive, but choice is always in your hands.

✔️ Why people in affairs or toxic relationships often feel like they have no control—and how to reclaim it.

✔️ The emotional brain vs. the rational brain: Why attraction and action aren’t the same thing.

✔️ How to separate what you feel from what you do, and why it matters for your future.

✔️ Steps to take back control of your relationships, values, and actions moving forward.

💬 Question for you: How have you navigated feelings of desire in your relationships? How did you handle the balance between attraction and choice? Drop a comment or reach out, let's talk!

Connect with Luke:

  • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
  • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
  • Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

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    After the AffairBy Luke Shillings

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