Conversations about de-escalation can stir up a lot of fear—change freaks us out!—but things are always changing in our relationships, especially when we’re exploring non-monogamy and untangling ourselves from the fairy tale, rom-com version of love.

De-escalation doesn’t always have to be a sudden, slam-on-the-brakes change—we discuss how de-escalation can be a pragmatic, intentional way of attending to what the situation actually needs, instead of following the traditional relationship stepladder.

We share some of our own experiences of escalating and de-escalating our relationship, we talk about our ongoing processes of questioning and re-imagining the cultural narratives of breakups, and we discuss the challenges of navigating parenting and relationship changes.

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠⁠Blue Dot Sessions