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Understanding why someone betrayed you can be helpful. It can explain what happened. It can offer context. It can even soften the sting, temporarily.
But it doesn’t erase the pain.
In this episode, we unpack the emotional tug-of-war between empathy and accountability after infidelity. We explore how understanding your partner’s internal struggles, their fears, avoidance, or disconnection doesn’t mean you're condoning their choices. It simply means you're starting to see the full picture.
You’ll learn how empathy and boundaries can exist side-by-side, and why making sense of the betrayal is only one part of the healing process.
Have you struggled with the tension between understanding and hurt? Leave us a review or share this episode with someone who’s trying to make sense of their own betrayal story.
🗣️ And if you want guided support navigating that emotional minefield, join the waitlist for our Chaos to Clarity group coaching program — doors are opening soon.
Connect with Luke:
Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity
By Luke Shillings4.7
2727 ratings
Understanding why someone betrayed you can be helpful. It can explain what happened. It can offer context. It can even soften the sting, temporarily.
But it doesn’t erase the pain.
In this episode, we unpack the emotional tug-of-war between empathy and accountability after infidelity. We explore how understanding your partner’s internal struggles, their fears, avoidance, or disconnection doesn’t mean you're condoning their choices. It simply means you're starting to see the full picture.
You’ll learn how empathy and boundaries can exist side-by-side, and why making sense of the betrayal is only one part of the healing process.
Have you struggled with the tension between understanding and hurt? Leave us a review or share this episode with someone who’s trying to make sense of their own betrayal story.
🗣️ And if you want guided support navigating that emotional minefield, join the waitlist for our Chaos to Clarity group coaching program — doors are opening soon.
Connect with Luke:
Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

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