After the Affair

144. You Crossed the Line, Now Here’s Mine: Boundaries After Betrayal


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After betrayal, it’s easy to feel like you’re stuck reacting, trying to manage your partner’s behaviour, walking on eggshells, or questioning your own emotional limits.

But here’s the truth:

You don’t need their permission to protect your peace.

In this episode, we unpack what real boundaries look like in the aftermath of infidelity, not as walls or punishments, but as powerful acts of self-respect. You’ll learn:

  • Why boundaries aren’t about control, but clarity
  • The difference between emotional avoidance and self-protection
  • When to share a boundary out loud, and when to keep it for yourself
  • How boundaries give you back your agency after betrayal
  • Whether you’re in the thick of rebuilding or figuring out what you want next, this episode is your reminder that your healing is not negotiable.

    🔑 Key Takeaways
    • Boundaries are not ultimatums; they’re commitments to yourself.
    • You don’t have to share every boundary to honour it.
    • Clear boundaries regulate your nervous system and help you respond, not react.
    • Saying “no” to more pain is not cold. It’s a sign of healing.
    • Your value isn’t proven through tolerance; it’s affirmed through self-respect.
    • 📩 Want the Boundaries Blueprint?

      If you’re ready to start setting boundaries but don’t know where to begin, I’ve created a free resource just for you.

      It’s called the Boundaries Blueprint, and it includes 30+ examples of real-life boundaries tailored for the infidelity recovery journey, plus guidance to help you craft your own.

      👉 Email [email protected] with the word boundary144 and I’ll send it straight to your inbox.

      Connect with Luke:

      • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
      • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
      • Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

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        After the AffairBy Luke Shillings

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