Playing With Fire

147 How to Build Healthy Differentiation


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Differentiation is one of the pillars of conscious relationships—but it doesn’t just happen, we have to actively practice differentiation over time. When we don’t, there will be symptoms:

If you’ve been feeling some resentment building up inside of you, if you’ve been feeling smothered, if you think you might be over- or under-functioning in your relationship(s), or if you’ve been having the same fights over and over with your partner(s), it might be time for you to get serious about differentiation.

Differentiation involves being able to identify your own feelings, thoughts, and needs as separate from those of your partner(s). This is one of our favorite subjects. But it can also be a scary one!

In this episode, we’re giving you a fabulous set of tools and knowledge to start you on your path towards healthy differentiation. We’re talking about what differentiation is, why it’s so important, the difference between individuation and differentiation, signs that you might be ready to start your differentiation journey, some challenges you may face throughout your differentiation practice, and we’ll give you some practical advice for and real-life examples of cultivating differentiation.

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Playing With FireBy Joli Hamilton

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