After the Affair

152. Serial Cheaters - Can They Ever Really Change?


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When infidelity isn’t a one-off, but a repeated pattern, the pain cuts deeper. Serial cheating raises questions not just about what happened, but about who your partner really is, and whether change is even possible.

In this episode, Luke explores the often misunderstood world of serial cheaters. What defines them? What signs should you look out for? How should you respond if you discover multiple betrayals? And what message is there for those who find themselves stuck in a cycle of repeated cheating?

Whether you’re the betrayed partner trying to make sense of the devastation, or someone recognising these patterns in yourself, this episode brings nuance, clarity, and compassion, without the simplistic labels or societal clichés.

Key Takeaways

  • Serial cheating isn’t defined by one mistake, but by a pattern of repeated boundary-crossing and secrecy.
  • Signs include shifting stories, defensiveness, hidden accounts, and blurred boundaries.
  • Labels like “narcissist” are often overused. Real change comes from addressing underlying insecurities, avoidance, or addiction-like behaviours.
  • If you discover serial cheating, focus on facts over fears, observe patterns not promises, and claim your own support and boundaries.
  • For serial cheaters themselves: change is possible, but only with deep honesty, accountability, and willingness to break the cycle.
  • Connect with Luke:

    • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
    • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
    • Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

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      After the AffairBy Luke Shillings

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