After the Affair

152. Serial Cheaters - Can They Ever Really Change?


Listen Later

When infidelity isn’t a one-off, but a repeated pattern, the pain cuts deeper. Serial cheating raises questions not just about what happened, but about who your partner really is, and whether change is even possible.

In this episode, Luke explores the often misunderstood world of serial cheaters. What defines them? What signs should you look out for? How should you respond if you discover multiple betrayals? And what message is there for those who find themselves stuck in a cycle of repeated cheating?

Whether you’re the betrayed partner trying to make sense of the devastation, or someone recognising these patterns in yourself, this episode brings nuance, clarity, and compassion, without the simplistic labels or societal clichés.

Key Takeaways

  • Serial cheating isn’t defined by one mistake, but by a pattern of repeated boundary-crossing and secrecy.
  • Signs include shifting stories, defensiveness, hidden accounts, and blurred boundaries.
  • Labels like “narcissist” are often overused. Real change comes from addressing underlying insecurities, avoidance, or addiction-like behaviours.
  • If you discover serial cheating, focus on facts over fears, observe patterns not promises, and claim your own support and boundaries.
  • For serial cheaters themselves: change is possible, but only with deep honesty, accountability, and willingness to break the cycle.
  • Connect with Luke:

    • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
    • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
    • Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

      ...more
      View all episodesView all episodes
      Download on the App Store

      After the AffairBy Luke Shillings

      • 4.6
      • 4.6
      • 4.6
      • 4.6
      • 4.6

      4.6

      20 ratings


      More shows like After the Affair

      View all
      The Save The Marriage Podcast by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

      The Save The Marriage Podcast

      411 Listeners

      Relationship Radio: Marriage, Sex, Limerence & Avoiding Divorce by Dr. Joe Beam & Kimberly Beam Holmes: Experts in Fixing Marriages & Saving Relationships

      Relationship Radio: Marriage, Sex, Limerence & Avoiding Divorce

      503 Listeners

      Betrayal Trauma Recovery by Anne Blythe, M.Ed.

      Betrayal Trauma Recovery

      1,411 Listeners

      Healing Broken Trust In Your Marriage After Infidelity by Brad and Morgan Robinson

      Healing Broken Trust In Your Marriage After Infidelity

      744 Listeners

      Relationship Revival Podcast: Expert Advice on Relationships, Marriage, Dating by Nicola Beer

      Relationship Revival Podcast: Expert Advice on Relationships, Marriage, Dating

      388 Listeners

      Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting by Optimal Living Daily | Greg Audino

      Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting

      306 Listeners

      From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer by Geoff & Jody Steurer

      From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer

      202 Listeners

      Relationship Renovation | Couples | Love | Advice | Intimacy | Communication | Marriage by EJ and Tarah Kerwin

      Relationship Renovation | Couples | Love | Advice | Intimacy | Communication | Marriage

      166 Listeners

      Helping Couples Heal Podcast by Marnie Breecker

      Helping Couples Heal Podcast

      440 Listeners

      Heal from Infidelity by Andrea Giles

      Heal from Infidelity

      350 Listeners

      Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast by Dana Che - Christian Marriage  Coach & Speaker

      Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

      165 Listeners

      Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon by Dr. Alexandra Solomon

      Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

      285 Listeners

      On Attachment by Stephanie Rigg

      On Attachment

      1,019 Listeners

      Betrayal Recovery Radio: The Official Podcast of APSATS by Betrayal Recovery Radio

      Betrayal Recovery Radio: The Official Podcast of APSATS

      56 Listeners

      Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating by Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

      Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating

      169 Listeners