After the Affair

155. Back to Basics After the Affair


Listen Later

Sometimes, after betrayal, the path forward feels overwhelming. There are countless emotions, opinions from friends and family, and a constant urge to predict what the future might look like. In this episode, Luke goes back to basics. He shares his own story of moving through separation and divorce, and how he began rebuilding his life by focusing on what he could control, letting go of what he couldn’t, and learning to get comfortable with discomfort.

If you’re in the early days after betrayal, or even years down the line but still struggling to find stability, this episode will remind you that healing doesn’t start with having all the answers. It starts with noticing what’s true right now, and building trust in yourself one decision at a time.

Key Takeaways

  • Healing begins by getting clear on what you can control, and letting go of what you can’t.
  • Emotions in the aftermath of betrayal swing rapidly, like a pendulum, and that’s normal.
  • Supportive, non-judgmental friends or journaling can help ground chaotic thoughts.
  • You don’t need to predict the future; making decisions in the present rebuilds self-trust.
  • The goal isn’t to eliminate pain, but to get comfortable with it so it no longer controls you.
  • Connect with Luke:

    • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
    • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
    • Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

      ...more
      View all episodesView all episodes
      Download on the App Store

      After the AffairBy Luke Shillings

      • 4.6
      • 4.6
      • 4.6
      • 4.6
      • 4.6

      4.6

      20 ratings


      More shows like After the Affair

      View all
      The Save The Marriage Podcast by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

      The Save The Marriage Podcast

      411 Listeners

      Relationship Radio: Marriage, Sex, Limerence & Avoiding Divorce by Dr. Joe Beam & Kimberly Beam Holmes: Experts in Fixing Marriages & Saving Relationships

      Relationship Radio: Marriage, Sex, Limerence & Avoiding Divorce

      503 Listeners

      Betrayal Trauma Recovery by Anne Blythe, M.Ed.

      Betrayal Trauma Recovery

      1,409 Listeners

      Healing Broken Trust In Your Marriage After Infidelity by Brad and Morgan Robinson

      Healing Broken Trust In Your Marriage After Infidelity

      746 Listeners

      Relationship Revival Podcast: Expert Advice on Relationships, Marriage, Dating by Nicola Beer

      Relationship Revival Podcast: Expert Advice on Relationships, Marriage, Dating

      388 Listeners

      Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting by Optimal Living Daily | Greg Audino

      Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting

      307 Listeners

      From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer by Geoff & Jody Steurer

      From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer

      202 Listeners

      Relationship Renovation | Couples | Love | Advice | Intimacy | Communication | Marriage by EJ and Tarah Kerwin

      Relationship Renovation | Couples | Love | Advice | Intimacy | Communication | Marriage

      166 Listeners

      Helping Couples Heal Podcast by Marnie Breecker

      Helping Couples Heal Podcast

      440 Listeners

      Heal from Infidelity by Andrea Giles

      Heal from Infidelity

      351 Listeners

      Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast by Dana Che - Christian Marriage  Coach & Speaker

      Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

      165 Listeners

      Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon by Dr. Alexandra Solomon

      Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

      285 Listeners

      On Attachment by Stephanie Rigg

      On Attachment

      1,022 Listeners

      Betrayal Recovery Radio: The Official Podcast of APSATS by Betrayal Recovery Radio

      Betrayal Recovery Radio: The Official Podcast of APSATS

      57 Listeners

      Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating by Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

      Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating

      169 Listeners