After the Affair

155. Back to Basics After the Affair


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Sometimes, after betrayal, the path forward feels overwhelming. There are countless emotions, opinions from friends and family, and a constant urge to predict what the future might look like. In this episode, Luke goes back to basics. He shares his own story of moving through separation and divorce, and how he began rebuilding his life by focusing on what he could control, letting go of what he couldn’t, and learning to get comfortable with discomfort.

If you’re in the early days after betrayal, or even years down the line but still struggling to find stability, this episode will remind you that healing doesn’t start with having all the answers. It starts with noticing what’s true right now, and building trust in yourself one decision at a time.

Key Takeaways

  • Healing begins by getting clear on what you can control, and letting go of what you can’t.
  • Emotions in the aftermath of betrayal swing rapidly, like a pendulum, and that’s normal.
  • Supportive, non-judgmental friends or journaling can help ground chaotic thoughts.
  • You don’t need to predict the future; making decisions in the present rebuilds self-trust.
  • The goal isn’t to eliminate pain, but to get comfortable with it so it no longer controls you.
  • Connect with Luke:

    • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
    • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
    • Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

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      After the AffairBy Luke Shillings

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