Opening up your relationship does not automatically lead to you getting more of your needs met. Monogamy or not, identifying and communicating your needs, wants, and likes can be really challenging!! It’s also crucial to building fulfilling relationships, which is exactly why we created this episode.

Like most aspects of relating, individuating, differentiating, and all the wonderful things we like to talk about on Playing With Fire, identifying and communicating your needs is a skill that you can practice and build.

Listen on to learn about:

— The difference between needs, wants, and likes in relationships

— Why identifying and communicating your needs can be so challenging

— The importance of developing a rich vocabulary to describe your experiences and desires

— How shame and trauma can impact our ability to express ourselves in relationships

— The role of negotiation and consent in getting needs met

— Who is responsible for meeting whose needs

— Why writing things down can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and communication

— The challenges of balancing individual needs with relationship dynamics, especially in non-monogamous contexts

— How to identify your own manipulative and people-pleasing tendencies, and why those strategies can be harmful for everyone in the long run

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— David Cooley's writing and coaching

— Dan Shipper's article on developing sensory vocabulary

— The "Yes, No, Maybe" list for exploring sexual preferences (kinkier version here)

Join the global Week of Visibility for Non-monogamy – July 15-21. Visit www.weekofvisibility.com to learn more and get involved!

Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at⁠⁠ ⁠www.JoliQuiz.com⁠

Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here

Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions