Why is it so hard to be consistent in how you think or feel during estrangement from your adult child(ren)? Why does your heart sometimes ache for your adult child, and other times feel only frustrated and hurt?

For some parents, there’s a quiet but persistent inner conflict between personal growth and repairing an estranged relationship. Those parents face an impossible choice: Should they be true to themselves? Or should they forsake their own healing and prioritize the relationship?

An example of that conflict highlighted in this episode is when personal growth requires parents to speak up for themselves as part of healing from past emotional abuse or neglect.

When their estranged adult children express dissatisfaction with the relationship, parents’ healthy need for boundaries and self-protection may conflict with the momentary need to listen without defensiveness.

It’s a deeply disturbing and painful dilemma when preserving the relationship with oneself stands in opposition to nurturing the relationship with one’s child(ren). And while there’s no ready solution in the short term, it’s possible to keep the problem from becoming entrenched by continuing to walk with purpose along your own path of personal healing and growth, as Tina explains.

EPISODE RESOURCE:

Personal Healing: More Than a Detour for Rejected Parents 

For more on how to repair troubled relationships with adult children, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.

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