After the Affair

166. Why You’re Still Suffering After Betrayal


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If you’ve been asking yourself, “Why am I still suffering after betrayal?”, this episode is for you.

Most people think they’re drowning because the pain is too big.

But the real reason you’re stuck isn’t the pain itself… It’s the suffering your mind is unintentionally creating on top of it.

In today’s episode, Luke breaks down the crucial difference between discomfort (the natural emotional pain of betrayal) and suffering (the mental loops, fear-based stories, and catastrophic thoughts that keep you stuck).

You’ll learn exactly why betrayal creates so much mental noise, why you can’t “think your way out” of it, and how to finally stop adding suffering to pain you’re already strong enough to survive.

If you’re tired of feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and trapped in your thoughts, this episode will show you why you’re suffering and how to stop.

Key Takeaways
  • Discomfort = the honest, human pain of betrayal.
  • Suffering = the mental stories you add on top of the pain.
  • Discomfort moves. Suffering loops.
  • Betrayal triggers the nervous system — making suffering feel inevitable.
  • Your mind fills uncertainty with worst-case scenarios to feel “safe.”
  • You can’t avoid discomfort, but you can avoid suffering.
  • Learning the difference changes everything.
  • If you’re stuck in suffering, not because you’re weak, but because nobody taught you how to separate pain from interpretation, coaching can help.

    Inside The After the Affair Collective and through one-to-one coaching, Luke teaches you how to stop the mental loops that keep you stuck and build a calmer, clearer, more grounded recovery.

    Start your next chapter at lifecoachluke.com

    Or reach out directly, you don’t have to do this alone.

    Connect with Luke:

    • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
    • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
    • ...more
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      After the AffairBy Luke Shillings

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