On Attachment

#185: How Caretaking Impacts Our Relationships


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Many of us are taught that taking care of the people we love is the ultimate expression of devotion. But when caring crosses the line into caretaking, it can quietly create deep imbalances in our relationships.

Caretaking often stems from anxiety, a need for control, or an old belief that love must be earned through over-functioning — anticipating needs, smoothing over discomfort, managing someone else's feelings or life for them. While it can look like love on the surface, it often leaves both partners stuck: one overextending, the other under-functioning, and both feeling disconnected.

In this episode, we explore:

  • The key differences between caring and caretaking
  • How caretaking can create resentment, imbalance, and emotional dependency
  • Why caretaking is often a hidden form of control
  • Signs you might be caught in a caretaking dynamic
  • How to shift towards healthier, more empowering ways of loving and relating

Building secure, connected relationships isn't about fixing or rescuing each other — it's about standing alongside each other, with enough trust to let each person take responsibility for themselves.

Highlighted Links

  • Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
  • Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

  • Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
  • Join my email list 💌
  • Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
  • Visit my website
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On AttachmentBy Stephanie Rigg

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