It’s not uncommon to find ourselves shouldering the blame for things that were never truly our vault. What if we approached these situations with a different perspective? What if we embraced self-compassion as a catalyst for growth and healing instead of berating ourselves for our supposed errors? In this episode, I’m talking about making errors, the need for control, what happens when we have self-compassion, and the benefits of outside accountability.

 

When You Find Yourself Making a Lot of Errors

1. You might need someone to hold space for you.
2. You might need action coaching.
3. Remember to have compassion for yourself and the circumstances.
4. Find the lesson in your errors.

 

Self-Compassion and Errors

I know I’m not alone when I say that I recently took on the blame for something that wasn’t my fault. This is incredibly common to do. Did you know that we do it because it puts us back in control of the situation?

One of the reasons for my recent error was because I was in emotional dysregulation. Yes, you can get into emotional dysregulation even from positive emotions, like excitement – anything that sends your emotions out of their normal flow can put you in a state where you’re not thinking clearly.

When you find that you’ve made an error, I want to encourage you to find compassion for yourself. It’s within your self-compassion that you find the lessons and the learnings from your error. This is such an important step towards healing.

 

Healing From Your Errors

Healing from your errors is also essential. That’s why we need to talk about our mistakes. What did you do? How did you feel? What have you learned from it? It’s okay to err. You have permission to make mistakes. But please talk about it.

If, like me, you need some guidance to help you through your errors, I’d recommend seeking outside help. Outside accountability, like a psychiatrist, is beneficial because you know someone other than yourself is checking on your progress.

I’d love to hear about an error you’ve made recently. How did you feel when you made it? What lessons did you learn when you took time to reflect and have self-compassion? Let me know in the comments on the episode page.

 

In This Episode 

• Why we often blame ourselves even when things aren’t our fault [11:00]
• How we can experience dysregulation from positive emotions [12:30]
• What you can learn from having self-compassion [13:30]
• Why it’s healing to talk about your errors [16:30]
• Why you might need outside accountability [21:00]
• How to find the lesson in your errors [25:30]

 

Quotes

“I blamed myself. Why? Because when you blame yourself, you take it on as yours and you put yourself back in control. Not in a healthy way.” [10:47]

“Dysregulation with our emotions isn’t always negative emotions. It can be positive emotions.” [12:42]

“If you’re ever thinking that you’re failing or you’re not doing something that you said you would do, you may need accountability to your boundaries.” [21:13]

“If you are getting a result that you like, still be careful about the story you’re telling yourself. If you’re getting positive reinforcement or the results that you want, and your story doesn’t really have facts in it, it’s still just a story.” [26:49]

 

Resources Mentioned

31 Days of FIT. Learn more HERE.

Muscle Maintenance During Fat Loss. Waitlist HERE.

Fit Woman Collective™. Learn more HERE.

Transform® 8.0 deposit link is now open. Sign up HERE.

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*** Ali Novitsky MD, this podcast, and podcast write-up are NOT providing medical advice ***

 

Related Episodes 

Episode 186: A Quest to Good Mothering with Heather Chauvin

Episode 185: Emotionally Regulated Parenting

Episode 184: Setting Boundaries Starting with Self