Playing With Fire

193 Beyond Good Intentions: Building True Integrity in Relationships


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What does it really mean to live and love with integrity? How can we stay in integrity while navigating multiple relationships, agreements, needs, and wants that aren’t always in alignment??

The reality is that living in integrity, especially when you’re in multiple non-monogamous relationships, requires awareness, honest self-reflection, and sometimes making difficult choices. That may sound overwhelming, but this episode will help you learn how to create a solid foundation of the skills and habits you need to relate with others—and yourself—with integrity.

In this episode, we talk about:

— What integrity actually means

— Why it's so challenging to maintain integrity when different parts of ourselves want different things

— How over-functioning and under-functioning in relationships can get in the way of true integrity

— Why self-agreements create the groundwork for integrity in relationships

— Why shame often comes up when we realize we're out of integrity

— How to work with the nervous system response that arises when we notice we're out of alignment

— The importance of examining whether we actually want the agreements we're making

— Practical ways to rebuild integrity when we've gotten off track

— Why acknowledging when we're out of integrity is the first step back towards it

— How to handle situations where we keep breaking the same agreements

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— Episode 123: Weasel Words and Creating more Intimacy in your Relationships

— Episode 149: Relationship Agreements 101

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

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Playing With FireBy Joli Hamilton

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