If your child holds it together all day at school only to fall apart the second they get home—this episode is for you.

In this brutally honest conversation, Jane is joined by teacher, parent, and neurodivergent advocate Millie Carr to unpack the invisible trauma happening behind ‘good behaviour’ in classrooms.

From silent shutdowns to explosive rage, masking to misdiagnosis, we explore how the school system is inadvertently breaking the very kids it's meant to support—and what parents can do about it.

💡 What We Cover:

• What school-based trauma really looks like (it’s not always loud)
• Why girls and fawn-type students are flying under the radar
• The link between masking, people-pleasing, and identity loss
• How chronic invalidation chips away at kids’ mental health
• Why ‘good girl’ praise can be just as damaging as discipline
• The high cost of being the “perfect” student
• RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) and the hidden social toll of school
• What schools and parents can do to build trust and repair harm

Need support navigating school chaos?
Making School Work is your go-to advocacy guide for when your neurodivergent child isn’t coping — and the school says they’re fine. Packed with scripts, templates, and clarity for IEPs, school refusal, and shutdowns, it helps you hold your ground in the rooms that matter.
Get it here: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/ 

🎧 Related episodes with Millie Carr: 

How to Tell Your Child About Their Diagnosis: Essential Do's and Don'ts.

• Listen in Spotify
• Listen in Apple

Camouflaging ADHD and Autistic Traits in Girls

• Listen in Spotify
• Listen in Apple

The Neurodiverse Classroom 

• Listen in Spotify
• Listen in Apple

🔗 To find out more about Millie Carr or purchase her books please click on her website or check out her IG

🔗 Sign our Change Petition here

🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here

🎧 Listener Questions please send here

🔗 Free Guides and Resources here

📚 References & Further Reading

• Disability Standards for Education 2005
  Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government

• Disability Discrimination Act 1992
  View the full legislation on the Federal Register

This episode isn’t about blaming teachers—it’s about exposing the system that’s letting everyone down, especially our neurodivergent kids. If you’ve ever been told ‘they’re fine at school’, you need to hear this.

Hit play. Share with a friend. And let’s stop gaslighting ourselves about what’s really going on in classrooms.

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Connect with other ADHD mums in our Facebook group – no question too small, no meltdown too messy.

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Daily ADHD mum content on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube.

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review helps other mums find support that actually makes sense.

COLLABS:

Want Jane to speak or collaborate? Email [email protected].

MORE RESOURCES:

Still questioning ADHD or autism? Access recommended self-assessments and tools here.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.