Why does an avoidant ex look completely fine after the breakup while you're falling apart? In Part 2 of this 4-part breakup series, Sabrina breaks down avoidant attachment after a breakup using actual attachment research, not the recycled TikTok takes. She explains what deactivation really means in the nervous system, why avoidants register as less distressed in the acute post-breakup period, and what's actually happening when they seem to move on overnight or jump straight into a new relationship.

You'll also learn the three types of avoidant reach-outs (suppression breakdown, the phantom ex phenomenon, and the rare real reach out), how to tell which one you're getting, whether avoidants can actually change, and why you keep responding even when you know better. Stay until the end for the Tool of the Week, the single most useful practice for anyone trying to heal from an avoidant discard, an anxious-avoidant dynamic, or a breakup where you can't stop wondering if you ever mattered to them.

Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026,⁠ "Why Am I Like This?"⁠

Get your free workbook and access to the companion course after pre-ordering 'Why Am I Like This?' by filling out the form at the bottom of the page at http://sabrinazohar.com/book

If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  ⁠HERE!⁠

If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself ⁠HERE!⁠

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Chapters:

00:00 Inside the Avoidant Breakup

06:10 What Avoidant Attachment Really Is

10:45 Why Avoidants Don't Grieve at First

13:21 Avoidant Discard vs Breakup

17:08 The Suppression Study Explained

21:20 3 Types of Avoidant Reach Outs

25:37 Why You Keep Responding

28:21 Can Avoidants Actually Change

31:12 Healing Without Becoming Avoidant

33:40 Tool: Stop Predicting Their Feelings

Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity.

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