Playing With Fire

207 Turning Goals into Self-Agreements


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If you’ve been a PWF listener for a while, you know that we love self-agreements. Creating self-agreements based on your goals may sound like a simple process, but we find that some big questions often come up along the way.

To answer this week’s listener question, we’re diving deep into value and accountability systems, and we’re giving you practical exercises you can use to uncover your desires and create agreements that actually work for you instead of against you.

In this episode, we talk about:

— Why all agreements ultimately start as agreements with yourself

— The importance of getting explicit about what you actually want versus what you think you "should" want

— How to use desire excavation to uncover your true motivations

— The power of using verbs in your agreements to make them actionable

— Understanding and implementing both natural and manufactured consequences of not following through

— Building in rewards and reinforcement for meeting your agreements

— Creating support scaffolding through accountability partners, apps, and community

— Why perfectionism sabotages agreements and how "daily-ish" can be more effective than rigid expectations

— Identifying and removing friction points that get in the way of keeping agreements

— Using creative problem-solving to make agreements easier to keep

— How keeping agreements with yourself builds self-esteem, integrity, and resilience

— The importance of aligning your agreements with your core values

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— Oliver Burkeman's book Four Thousand Weeks

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

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Playing With FireBy Joli Hamilton

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