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212: Why You Can't Let Go (Even When You Know You Should)
Why can't you let it go? You typed the text, deleted it three times, and sent it anyway just to get the last word. In part one of a three-part series, Sabrina Zohar breaks down the fight response: keeping score, replaying old arguments, the silent treatment, test texts, and why anger rumination keeps you stuck instead of setting you free. Whether you're single, dating, or years into a relationship, this one is for anyone who can't stop fighting to be right.
Sabrina gets honest about how needing the last word costs you sleep, connection, and the chance to actually be known, how triggers resurface after an abusive relationship, and why your reactions reveal more about your history than the person in front of you. You'll leave with one research-backed tool, the 20-minute rule, to calm down before you say or send something you'll regret. Expect real, warm, no-bullshit guidance on attachment, dating, and putting the armor down.
Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026, "Why Am I Like This?"
Get your free workbook and access to the companion course after pre-ordering 'Why Am I Like This?' by filling out the form at the bottom of the page at http://sabrinazohar.com/book
Take the new and improved dating quiz! sabrinazohar.com/quiz
If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE!
If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE!
Get Ad free HERE!
Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video.
Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!
Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!
Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE!
Chapters:
00:00 Why you can't let it go
02:35 What being triggered really means
04:50 Needing the last word
08:41 Keeping score in relationships
10:58 Test texts and silent treatment
13:53 Fight as a survival response
16:43 Why we match the energy
20:25 Testing for reassurance
24:41 Anger rumination explained
27:41 The 20 minute rule
Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
View all episodes
By The Sabrina Zohar Show
4.9
50185,018 ratings
Why can't you let it go? You typed the text, deleted it three times, and sent it anyway just to get the last word. In part one of a three-part series, Sabrina Zohar breaks down the fight response: keeping score, replaying old arguments, the silent treatment, test texts, and why anger rumination keeps you stuck instead of setting you free. Whether you're single, dating, or years into a relationship, this one is for anyone who can't stop fighting to be right.
Sabrina gets honest about how needing the last word costs you sleep, connection, and the chance to actually be known, how triggers resurface after an abusive relationship, and why your reactions reveal more about your history than the person in front of you. You'll leave with one research-backed tool, the 20-minute rule, to calm down before you say or send something you'll regret. Expect real, warm, no-bullshit guidance on attachment, dating, and putting the armor down.
Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026, "Why Am I Like This?"
Get your free workbook and access to the companion course after pre-ordering 'Why Am I Like This?' by filling out the form at the bottom of the page at http://sabrinazohar.com/book
Take the new and improved dating quiz! sabrinazohar.com/quiz
If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE!
If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE!
Get Ad free HERE!
Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video.
Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!
Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!
Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE!
Chapters:
00:00 Why you can't let it go
02:35 What being triggered really means
04:50 Needing the last word
08:41 Keeping score in relationships
10:58 Test texts and silent treatment
13:53 Fight as a survival response
16:43 Why we match the energy
20:25 Testing for reassurance
24:41 Anger rumination explained
27:41 The 20 minute rule
Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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