What to Do When Parenting Tools Don’t Work?

I know that when you start using new parenting tools, things don't always go according to plan. Your kids don't say what you think they will, or maybe you perceive that their behavior is just kind of crappy, or maybe your partner isn't on board with your ideas.

In this episode I address what to do about all of these challenges, as well as how to use the tools I work with to address difficult topics like children wanting ever more snack foods, ever more screen time, and refusing to go to school.

We hear from parents who have managed to address tricky challenges - including a child with a skin condition who must take a bath daily and who was successfully extending the dinner/running around/reading books process until bedtime was delayed as well. Once the child's parents came to see what needs the child was trying to meet, bath time suddenly wasn't a problem anymore.

I share some realizations that parents have had about their place in the world as they've engaged with my work and how I plan to shift the ways I talk about these issues moving forward.

I also invite you to celebrate with my book Parenting Beyond Power's first birthday by baking (or buying) some cupcakes! One of many parents' favorite ideas in the book was the feelings and needs cupcakes, which makes it easy to visualize your most common feelings and needs.

We've made some flags you can print and use with your children to identify your (and their) feelings and needs. Share them on social media and be invited to a group coaching call with me later in September, and stick them to the fridge as a reminder of how to connect with your kids - and yourself!

Finally, a couple of invitations. The Right From The Start course, which I run with Hannah and Kelty of Upbringing, is now available whenever you need it (rather than waiting for the next cohort to begin. If you're expecting a baby or have a child under the age of one, Right From The Start will help you to get clear on your values and goals around raising your child so you can put the systems you need in place before you get to the really tough toddler years.

Parent Annie said: "I am so jealous (but excited for others)... that there is something like this for first time mothers. I wish I had it with my first born as it would have been so helpful for my nerves and anxiety surrounding my new profession of 'child raiser!"

Learn more and sign up - you can also gift the course to to a friend or relative who is expecting or has a baby under the age of one. We have sliding scale pricing and a 100% money back guarantee!

And if you're interested in doing explicitly anti-racist, patriarchy-healing, capitalism-busting work with me (which I know isn't for everyone!), I'd love to invite you to join me for the Parenting Beyond Power book club hosted by Moms Against Racism Canada.

It's a 'book club' in that we'll be working with the ideas in Parenting Beyond Power (we couldn't think of what else to call it...which is also how I ended up with Your Parenting Mojo!), but it's really a set of six 90-minute group coaching calls on Friday evenings where we'll explore how we've been harmed by systems of power, and how we can be in relationship with our children in a way that's aligned with our values.

If you (and maybe the folks in your community as well?) have been wanting to know more about how to take anti-racist action with your kids but weren't sure how to do it, the book club will help you to do it. If you'd like to invite your crew, we can give you a special link and when five people use it to sign up, your own spot will be free.

 

Jump to Highlights

01:37 Introducing today’s episode

05:21 Parenting Beyond Power challenges traditional parenting by connecting social justice issues like White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism to parenting methods, advocating for tools that promote equality and understanding.

17:17 The book shows how conscious and compassionate parenting can reshape family interactions and influence broader societal change.

28:49 The book helps readers tackle judgmental parenting habits, fostering more compassionate and understanding relationships with their children.

34:26 Some readers find it harder to change communication patterns with their partners than with their children; they struggle with deep-rooted patterns and differing strategies when handling tough situations.

44:45 Parenting Beyond Power helps parents understand and address their child's resistance by focusing on meeting both the child's and their own needs.

52:04 Wrapping up with two options for further support: on-demand Right From The Start course for new parents and Parenting Beyond Power book club with coaching on social issues in parenting