Playing With Fire

238 Thriving in Long-Distance Relationships


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Long-distance relationships can feel like a never-ending uphill climb. When there are miles between you and your partner, it's easy to fall into patterns that make connecting feel more like a chore than a choice. Whether you're separated by a two-hour drive or multiple time zones, the question eventually surfaces: "How do we keep going without it feeling like endless work?"

We understand this struggle deeply. The fatigue that comes with maintaining connection across distance is real and valid. But what if the solution isn't about working harder, but about reimagining what your relationship is actually for? What if the distance itself offers unique opportunities that proximity never could?

In this episode, we talk about:

— The importance of clarifying the purpose of your relationship and how this purpose might shift over time

— Why mono-normative expectations can create unnecessary pressure in long-distance relationships

— How to design relationship rituals that create meaning without becoming another obligation

— The value of regularly revisiting and refreshing your relationship agreements

— Understanding the unique grief that comes with long-distance relating and how to honor it

— Finding the "golden shadows" of distance—the unexpected benefits that proximity doesn't offer

— Why endurance alone isn't enough to sustain connection, and how meaning-making transforms the experience

— The danger of idealizing proximity and forgetting the challenges that come with day-to-day relating

— Creating structure that allows for both stability and novelty in your connection

— Practical ways to inject fresh energy and imagination into long-distance relationships

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— Francis Weller's work on grief

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

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Playing With FireBy Joli Hamilton

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