The Coachable Podcast

24. How Your Personality Pattern Impacts Your Relationships with Steven Kessler


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 Steven Kessler, psychotherapist and bestselling author of The 5 Personality Patterns, joins me on today’s episode! In Part 1, we are diving into the 5 different personality patterns. You are also invited to a Free Event called The Secret to Understanding People. To join Steven and learn more about these patterns and how they can help you to understand others, click here https://the5personalitypatterns.com/5pp-free-event-secret/ . 

Patterns and People [11:43]

·    “Although you can’t put an end to your patterns, you can learn to identify your patterns and come back to present while giving ourselves what we need.”

·    “Not everybody in your life will respond to stress the same way you do.”

The 5 Personality Patterns [30:00]

·    “The first one is the leaving pattern- leaving the body, the mind, the dimension. Taking yourself away from the body and the situation.”

·    “The second one is the merging pattern, or moving towards the other person. This is what an infant will do naturally.”

·    “The third is the enduring pattern- pulling energy in, into the ground beneath them, and hide. They let it all blow over.”

·    “The fourth is the aggressive pattern- pulling energy up and out to try and influence others. The aggressive pattern is about looking strong and threatening, coercing people into doing what they want to feel safe.”

·    “The fifth is rigid pattern. It’s like living a performance. You learn what is expected and act that way to keep love and approval.”

Needs of the Patterns [43:58]

·    “The rigid pattern needs others to check in with them. Giving reassurance to people in the pattern.”

·    “People in a leaving pattern need others in their life to be present but to not invade your space. They need to be grounded and to hold warm energy that feels safe.”

·    “For a person in merging pattern, they need others to thank them for being treated with warmth and give reminders to treat themselves in the same way.”

·    “People in the enduring pattern need to practice movi

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