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3-Step Framework That Turns Strangers into Friends [Social Intelligence Brief]
Moving to a new city can feel like starting over—but it doesn’t have to. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak break down a science-backed three-step strategy to plug into a brand-new social circle in weeks, not months.
Whether you’re relocating or just looking to shake up your current routine, you’ll learn how to find the right spaces, start meaningful conversations, and turn physical activity into instant connection. Plus, you’ll walk away with this week’s Triple Stack Challenge that jumpstarts your social success.
What to Listen For
[00:00:00] Why moving is the perfect moment to build a better social life
[00:02:00] The danger of bubble living—and how to break out of it
[00:03:30] What is a “third place” and why it’s the secret to meeting new people
[00:07:30] Johnny’s story: How bartending made him everyone’s first friend
[00:09:00] Client story: How Luke built a social circle through a run club and open mic
[00:10:00] Framework #2: The “Because Disclosure” to trigger instant trust
[00:12:00] How to make small talk meaningful with personal micro-disclosure
[00:13:00] Framework #3: Use physical activity to create social glue
[00:14:00] Client story: From workouts to racketball to finding your tribe
[00:15:00] Weekly Practice Plan: Block time, script disclosures, and test workouts
[00:16:00] Triple Stack Challenge: Third place → Opener → Invite
Episode Takeaways
Within the first 90 days of moving, forming one close tie can increase happiness by over 50%
Avoid "bubble living" by identifying a third place outside work and home
Repeated presence at third places creates propinquity—we like who we see often
Use “because disclosures” to spark trust and show vulnerability instantly
Even trivial reasons build connection, thanks to Ellen Langer’s Xerox study
Join group physical activities (run clubs, fitness classes, rec sports) for biochemical bonding
Use the Triple Stack: Pick a third place, open with a disclosure, invite to an activity
Prep matters—script disclosures, treat social outings like meetings, and take brief notes after interactions to increase recall and follow-up success
A Word From Our Sponsors
Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities!
Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy!
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
DCM Insights
The Activator Advantage: What Today's Rainmakers Do Differently
The Challenger Sale: Taking Control of the Customer Conversation
HBR: What Today’s Rainmakers Do Differently
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
View all episodes
By The Art of Charm
4.7
1046510,465 ratings
Moving to a new city can feel like starting over—but it doesn’t have to. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak break down a science-backed three-step strategy to plug into a brand-new social circle in weeks, not months.
Whether you’re relocating or just looking to shake up your current routine, you’ll learn how to find the right spaces, start meaningful conversations, and turn physical activity into instant connection. Plus, you’ll walk away with this week’s Triple Stack Challenge that jumpstarts your social success.
What to Listen For
[00:00:00] Why moving is the perfect moment to build a better social life
[00:02:00] The danger of bubble living—and how to break out of it
[00:03:30] What is a “third place” and why it’s the secret to meeting new people
[00:07:30] Johnny’s story: How bartending made him everyone’s first friend
[00:09:00] Client story: How Luke built a social circle through a run club and open mic
[00:10:00] Framework #2: The “Because Disclosure” to trigger instant trust
[00:12:00] How to make small talk meaningful with personal micro-disclosure
[00:13:00] Framework #3: Use physical activity to create social glue
[00:14:00] Client story: From workouts to racketball to finding your tribe
[00:15:00] Weekly Practice Plan: Block time, script disclosures, and test workouts
[00:16:00] Triple Stack Challenge: Third place → Opener → Invite
Episode Takeaways
Within the first 90 days of moving, forming one close tie can increase happiness by over 50%
Avoid "bubble living" by identifying a third place outside work and home
Repeated presence at third places creates propinquity—we like who we see often
Use “because disclosures” to spark trust and show vulnerability instantly
Even trivial reasons build connection, thanks to Ellen Langer’s Xerox study
Join group physical activities (run clubs, fitness classes, rec sports) for biochemical bonding
Use the Triple Stack: Pick a third place, open with a disclosure, invite to an activity
Prep matters—script disclosures, treat social outings like meetings, and take brief notes after interactions to increase recall and follow-up success
A Word From Our Sponsors
Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities!
Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy!
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
DCM Insights
The Activator Advantage: What Today's Rainmakers Do Differently
The Challenger Sale: Taking Control of the Customer Conversation
HBR: What Today’s Rainmakers Do Differently
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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