Today’s episode is questions sent in by listeners. Join me in this very casual conversation with Betsy and April while they dive into all kinds of areas of life and discuss the nature of reality, favorite animals and more!

Transcription:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show today. So today’s show I have somebody on with me, that’s helping me do an Ask Me Anything episode. So we asked on social media, if anybody had questions or anything random that they wanted me to talk about. And I thought, I’ll put this out there who knows if anybody will have anything but we did. We got quite a few questions. And so on the show with me today, and you’ll hear us get into it. But I have on my friend April who works with me, April does all the backend systems organizes everything. She’s the one that’s inside the Facebook group that creates the worksheets for every episode. All that good stuff. So APR is I love APR, and I’m so happy that she was able to do this episode with me because it just made made the whole thing like more of a conversation. Also, two things one is, I’m not super happy with the mic I used you’ll hear I sound a little weird. And I’m sorry. Lesson learned. Secondly, you know, I’m answering the we’re having a conversation and I kind of forgot we were recording. I curse at one point. So look out for that. I know the podcast is labeled as explicit, just in case I do that. But

it’s just like a really comfortable conversation. And I you know, and because of that it’s not a normal sounding episode. I don’t think I think I talk really fast and there’s a lot going on, but hopefully you’ll like it. Hopefully you’ll enjoy listening. April always has cool things to say too. We’ll have her on another time. So thanks for listening to this week’s show. Now, let’s get into it.

All right, we’re recording. Okay. Okay. All right. Hi, welcome to the show. Okay, so, okay, so what are we calling you?

I call you my magical unicorn, but I don’t know if that’s what you want me to call you on the show? Well, I mean, yeah, April, it’s, I don’t know. Like, I have a name. But a like your LIKE, SHARE. Like it’s just yeah, name. I’m just, I’m just April art. I’m gonna make a symbol like prints it because that would be awesome. I’m just oh, you can? Oh my god. I really don’t. I just had a great idea instead of a symbol. I’m a hand gesture. I’m this. Your hands? Yes. I’m hard hands. So please, please reference me like that. Yes, I will. You know, I will.

Because your references the magical unicorn inside all of our systems and apps. Yes. All right.

I love it. Okay, so I’m here with my magical unicorn. I’m making the heart hand symbol otherwise known previously known as April, April is now Okay, so now we’re gonna have another conversation. April is like the magic behind what I do. April keeps everything organized. And

and is

my emotional support animal.

Like I love my emotional support beverages here my water. I have a water I’ll have a sparkling water a coffee, decaf a tea. And then I have takes a team. It takes a village. Yes, takes a village. So for this episode, I wanted to do an Ask Me Anything, which honestly, when I thought I should do an Ask me anything? Because I thought it would be fun to answer. But then I really was like, Is anybody gonna have anything to ask me? I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m like, nobody’s gonna answer but we got questions. Yeah. And so I thought we would just dive in and and, and if people keep sending questions, like keep sending questions, because we’ll do an Ask me anything.

And also, I feel the need to say like, not that I know everything, but like, like,

there might there might be something I could share. I don’t know. Well, alright, so let’s, let’s, let’s Should we just dive in? Yeah, the first question is something that you should know. And it’s very deep. So are you prepared for it? Oh, god, you’re gonna start with a deep one. So I’ve seen all the questions, but I haven’t really prepped just to kind of say, and then I gave all the questions to heart hands, and then she’s just picking. So okay, let’s go first question. What is your favorite animal? Oh, Miley. I mean, honestly, when I saw that question, I was like, a Miley. Which, if you’re new here, Miley is my dog. That’s my dead dog. That

It’s ashes are here. But here’s the thing though. Like maybe it’s like what kind of animal but it doesn’t say that it says what is your favorite animal? Do you know that your answer would have never crossed my mind? It would never have crossed my mind to say Abigail who’s sitting on my lap right now like, Oh, really? Like what would you have that kind of animal? Yeah, like a spa?

Why was I thinking slots? I was like that slot if I had to pick like a slot. Like if I had to watch videos of an animal, it would be a slot slot videos. Yes. Slot than otter. Oh, yeah. Otters are good when they hold hands. Yeah, they’re cute. And they float and hold hands. Yeah, but Miley is my favorite animal. I Miley will be gone now. Two years and April.

Day. Isn’t that weird?

So weird. Because I feel like that has gone by fast and slow. You know? Yeah. And like, it’s weird to me that she’s been gone that long yet. I’m still so in love with her. I guess I thought she’s still there. Yeah, yeah. And I feel Iran. I dream about her a lot. I do have a lot of dreams about her. But I have a lot of funky.

I have a lot of funky dreams anyway.

But yeah, okay, ready? Okay, I’m ready. Okay, so someone said, I’m good at staying in alignment, when things are good. How do you stay when thoughts get tough.

So

it is easy to stay in alignment, when things are good. This is actually something that you and I talk about a lot.

You know, years ago, when my daughter was really sick. I remember I mean, and let me just preface that if you haven’t, and she was on an episode, I forget know which episode it was, but it was like last summer, early last summer, I think. Um, but my daughter was really sick. She has a mental illness. And it was undiagnosed at that time. And so really, like, just felt chaotic, and really, really, really hard. I mean, I think we all were really struggling. And I remember every day being like, really hard. And there was this thing that like I knew that the the lower that she would go many times the lower she would go the lower I would go. And I remember one day thinking, what if I

am really happy, even though she’s really doing bad. And I think that sometimes when things get hard, our natural reaction is I have to feel bad. Because things are bad. And if I don’t feel bad, then I’m a bad mom, or I’m not empathetic, or do I mean like whatever that is. And I remember thinking,

I’m going to stay really happy.

And I’m going to find like a mustard seed

to grab onto. And you know, if you guys listen to Abraham Hicks, and like rampages of experience of appreciation, all you need is like one little thing, right? And so she was, at that time having a really hard time, this is gonna sound kind of, but she was having a really hard time, not breaking her bones. So her illness was such that it caused her to, like want to, but consciously not want to. So she would kind of ask, like, Please help me, I don’t want to do this, but I have to kind of thing. And so a lot of times I would have to be holding her, like I would be physically holding her. And I remember how could I be happy. And then I thought, I’m here. I get to be here. She gets to be with her mom, her mom gets to hold her. I get to be here to help her. I can I’m stopping her from doing something that she doesn’t want to do. And keeping her safe. How nice is it that I can keep her safe? I get to keep my kids safe. A lot of people don’t even have their kids here to keep safe. I have my kid here, my kids alive. I’m getting to hug my kid. I can be here like Do you see how like I could start getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And it became this sort of like wave of a thing that I would do is like a game to find the little mustard seed right to find the little thing that I could grab on to that then I could make bigger and bigger and bigger instead of grabbing the thing that was really obvious and making that even bigger. And so the more I did that, the easier it was to start to find her the right help. It was almost like I remember at that time thinking like people are just like messaging me with doctors or ideas or things that I was like, oh my god, I never thought of that or, and I think it’s because I was getting more on the vibration of like helping her right and it got more and more and more. Now. It doesn’t mean every day was easy. And it doesn’t mean every day I was successful. But it meant that that I had a path

Like I had a plan that I could use. And now in my life, I think like, I don’t have anything that that is that difficult to that extent.

But it doesn’t matter. Because even if you don’t have something that’s that big.

Other things are big, you know what I mean? Like, we don’t have to compare and say, like, well, I don’t have anything that big, because now I don’t even that big, but I still have things that are challenging. And so and you and I talk about this a lot. Because you’re my emotional support.

Just like, How can I like in this? What’s the best feeling thought? And I know, you have thoughts on that. You want to talk about that? Yeah, that’s what I was gonna say. Like, even if you can’t go from like depths of despair to excitement and happiness. And don’t expect yourself to write Yes, reach for the best feeling thought at that time. And it kind of acts similar to the appreciation rampage because then you can reach the next one and the next one and the next one. And like you said, the more you do it, the easier and the faster that climb becomes. Yeah. And I think what I think one thing you said is really good, too, is, like you said, like, Oh, don’t be a bad mom. And this and people are super judgmental about like, you are supposed to feel this certain way, right? Like if somebody passes, and you are like, and I have been thinking about this a lot, actually. But when somebody passes in, you’re like, Oh, I’m so happy that there was pure positive energy, and you really are happy. Can you imagine how people will react? Like, they’re only they only will understand and accept that if the person is really old?

Yeah. Oh, right. Because they think oh, yeah, they their life. They lived? Yes. Their life wasn’t cut short. Right. Sure. The air quotes, right? Yeah. Like, what if we all live as long as we’re supposed to? Yeah. Which I know. If you haven’t been here for a while, and you’re new listening that might, that might make you bristle a little bit. But like I think about my mom, she died at 41. Like, what? I want to change that? Absolutely. Also, I think about it a lot. And I’m like, maybe your work was done. You don’t mean like what?

It was complete? Like she had a sense of completion. Maybe not consciously, but like, I don’t know. I mean, I don’t who knows if that’s true, but like, it helps me to find a better feeling thought. Yeah, I mean, it helps me to.

Yeah, and I believe it’s true. In case in case you wanted to know my personal belief. I did. Is that your email, shut your email off.

Point you’re shutting off. Yesterday, I recorded it. Because I can hear it. I’m like, I don’t hear the noise at all. So it can’t be like, Oh, it’s my side. Okay, so yesterday, I was recording. Um, so Oh, Instagram story, and I could hear that email doing in the background of it. It stresses me out so much, because I’m like, Oh, my God, there’s so much to do. Anyway, it was mine. So I can’t shut that off.

Like, permanently. I mean, shut it off at like six o’clock, shut it off.

All the days, shut it off, put it off. I think I might change the the doing

the same thing with my alarm. Did you see my Instagram story? So I was speaking last week in Baltimore. And I have I downloaded a different alarm. So when my alarm goes off, it makes me it makes me upset like it. Do you know what I mean? Like, I’m like, it’s jarring. And it must trigger something. So I was like, I set my alarm at different times of the day to like, check whatever my thoughts are, you know, to like, have gratitude or check my thoughts. But when the alarm would go off, I would immediately get like tense. And so I downloaded this new alarm. You know, you can download ringtones or whatever. Yeah. And it was like, this really pretty like chat. I’m like, doo doo doo doo doo. I think that’s the one I use. Yeah.

I got Okay, so then I’m in Baltimore. At the airport, or at the hotel and I got in the elevator and this I mean, this the sound in the elevator. I was like, God, it was like this, doo doo doo doo doo. I was like, what is that? And this other woman was in the elevator. She’s like, I don’t know what that’s driving me crazy. And then this guy got in the elevator and he’s like, I don’t know kind of makes me sleepy as it pipes throughout the whole hotel. And I said, I think so because I heard it when I was coming down the hall. Then I got out of the elevator and I walked like my, my room was way down at the end of the hall. So I’m walking. And I’m thinking to myself, this is really driving me like vanilla like batshit crazy. Like, I can’t stand it. Doo doo doo doo doo. I walk in the room and shut the door and I realized it’s my phone. That’s it.

my back pocket. So I was like, blasting it. How oh my god I was. So anyway, that’s why I get like shattered all

the digging sound. But anyway, probably nobody heard it because it was on my end it was probably just but anyway, that’s so funny. I couldn’t hear it. I’m good in case anybody cares the episode with all is 253 Thank you daughter. Yeah.

Yeah, she’s really open about sharing about all of her stuff. Yeah. Which I think is good. You know, like we

there’s some kind of shame around it so we don’t talk about it but yeah, yeah, but we let go of the shame. Yes, yeah. Are you ready for the next one? Okay, I’m ready. Okay. Um, what is? No, let’s not go there. Okay, what are your current fears Your overcoming this year?

I know that I sent you that question that somebody asked me, but I, I forgot. So let me my current view. So my big thing that I’m working on right now.

And it’s something that I really struggle with. And it’s probably the thing that holds me back. And I think you’ll probably agree is my fear of like being seen.

It’s sort of like, I desperately want to get my message out there.

Also, don’t include me in it.

You really mean? Your message out? Not Betsy and your face? Yeah. And I don’t, I think but I don’t know why. Because I don’t necessarily.

Like I’m not afraid. Like I speak. I like to go and speak like, I like that stuff. I think I’m afraid of like a personal attack.

Do you know what I mean? And also, when people have personally attacked me, which I’ve got, I get a lot of messages. And I used to get a lot that called me like a slut and stuff on Instagram, which I always was like, I’m eating my husband would love it if that was true.

Like, that’s, it made me laugh. But sometimes I get messages, and it doesn’t make me laugh. And, and it’s because there’s an element of it that I go, Oh, is that true? You know, and the bigger you get, the more you will get of that, that you’re exposed to people and like I’m on the show, and I’m sharing lots of stuff. So like, it kind of makes sense. You know that I would be open up to that. But I think that’s like my biggest thing. And I think that’s probably like a thing that really holds me back. And I have gotten I’ve had hypnotherapy around it like I’ve had, I’ve done a lot of stuff and made a lot of progress with it.

And I wish I just didn’t have that. Like I wish I just I know that’s the thing, like just don’t care. Like just stop caring. But then I think that it’s because I care that I do the work. I do. Yeah. So if I didn’t care, I probably wouldn’t do it.

Yeah, I remember once years ago, and I’m gonna guess that they no longer listen. Or I’m gonna guess that it’s so long ago. They don’t remember. They sent me this message.

And I don’t remember the total details. But they basically were like, I found you and I have loved every episode like I am binging I have gardening the whole weekend. I garden all night, Friday, all day Saturday, and I just listened to you the whole day. And I listened to you all day Sunday. And by Sunday afternoon, I decided to send your podcast my daughter where she and she loves you. And then I got to an episode where you said this and this and this and I don’t agree and this whole thing about how terrible I was. I was like

just stop stop listening.

We get a lot like you’ve spent a lot of time with me and I’m sorry that I said something that disappointed you. It was like some faulty science. It was. I referenced that that. Dr. Emoto Is that his name with the Rice Experiment? Oh, yeah, yeah, saying nice words. And she just felt like that was correct science. And you know, I don’t know the correct answer to that. But, um, but yeah, stuff like that. I get really like I don’t want to share. I don’t want to I don’t want to disappoint anybody. You know what I mean? Yeah, yes. I that I feel that right there is is like it like or say the wrong thing or Yeah, like because you say the wrong thing. Or put it on herded? Yeah, totally. And you know that, you know, it’s all about her and like, you can’t say that because then she’ll just be defensive but I will be like, like, clearly you haven’t listened enough, man. Keep going, keep going. But I get I get I mean, not a lot. I used to get a lot a lot. I don’t get as many now but I you used to get a ton

lot of messages similar to that. People really upset. I hadn’t moved to the beach yet how have they listened to 122 episodes? And I still haven’t moved to the beach? You know? I mean, which I was like, did they hear the part about how I have a kid who’s sick and not husband that has a job in the state? You know what I mean? I just so sometimes I don’t know. But let’s talk about how it’s not. It doesn’t really have anything to do with me at all. Yeah, well, and and because you’re saying it’s happening less now. And you’ve been working on it, right? So perhaps the vibration that you were putting out that fear you were putting out was actually attracting those people? Right? You’re like, I don’t want this? Well, if you don’t want it, right, you’re focusing on the right end of the stick. And so I’m working on it. And so now there’s less people doing it. Yeah, yeah, the resistance brings it right. What resist you resist persists? Yeah. Mm hmm. And, you know, and I, and I think that, and I know, we talked about this a lot, but everything that we think unconsciously is coming out whether we are aware of it or not. So micro expressions on her face tone in our voice, like all of those things. And I have had people say to me, when I listened to the really early episodes, you sound different. And so it could be that the the change changed, like the way I’m speaking or the authority in my voice, or whatever. And then it’s just not open to, like a lot of input or feedback, which it’s not that I mind people’s feedback. I like if you’re like it like, yeah, it’s not that I mind feedback. It’s the kind of feedback, you know, and I always and I do have a fear of

being misunderstood that, like you’re gonna say something that it’s not going to be what I mean, that wasn’t my intention. And I’m sure that’s like some kind of trauma from my past.

But that’s the thing. Like, that’s the thing with a lot of people like, oh, I misunderstood her, or especially in this day and age where everything seems to be taken to the extreme or to the offense or to like, the assume there’s a lot of assumption in this day and age. Yeah, right. Yeah, back in my day with the horse and buggies, we made no assumptions.

Well, we would ask, would we, like what did we do like in the 70s? And 80s? Like, we didn’t have the internet. So like, we didn’t say anything? No, everything was suppressed down deep in our soul.

We just became vessels of emotion waiting to be exploded upon.

We didn’t have the internet. So like, yeah, everything’s great. Like they like there was nothing to hide behind. So when you said something, it’s on you. Right. And now you could just put it out there. Like with no accountability? Yeah. Just something people talk about all the time. Yeah. Yeah. And I think we weren’t as exposed to as much and so we didn’t have a lot of opinions about stuff. Because we are exposed to it. Yeah, like, really? Like, I could not have podcasted in the 70s. Yeah, nobody would have given me a radio show at that time in my life.

But maybe people that were on the radio back then got a lot of feedback, like letters and stuff. Yeah, like, but you had imagine someone would have to sit down like, right, get a paper and pencil and write a letter and get a stamp and put in and now they just have to go click, click, click like, right? Yes. It’s easier to write a strongly worded letter. Yeah.

And you have when you if you do that you have time to like think it out like, oh, okay, maybe this is wrong, and I shouldn’t send this versus that. instant reaction, right? Yes. Totally. Take a breath. We’ll take that space. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that’s my biggest fear is just that I’ll be like, misunderstood or misinterpreted. And I don’t want to hurt anybody. And so I kind of keeps me held back a little bit like, but, you know, that’s part of

gross territory. I think, like, I can’t really do the way I really want to do if I’m not open to criticism, like I think about and you can say what you want about Tony Robbins like I’m not saying Tony Robbins is great or terrible, but I know people feel really decisively about him. They feel really decisively about him. Right? Yeah. Like and like, I don’t know how I feel about that. Like if I were I saw a tech talk the other day where somebody was like slamming Brene Brown she was harming people. I was like, I don’t follow her enough to like know what she’s saying but I don’t I think she’s just talking about being ashamed.

you have to really be okay being open to all that stuff. And I don’t know, maybe if I had pronase checking account, I would be like, well, like, you know what I mean, I can hire other people to scan the emails, and I don’t have to deal with it. Like, maybe that makes a difference. And maybe that’s why those people, maybe, so years ago,

years ago, I had a coach that I hired. And I might have talked about it on the show before, but I’m not going to get into who it was. But I, but later, she came out with a best selling book, and she’s had several best selling books. And when I wrote my book, I reached out to her and asked her to give me a quote. And she didn’t even respond to me, one of her people responded to me, which when I was working with her, she didn’t have people, you know. And so I remember I was like, I don’t want to ever be like that. But now I’m thinking maybe they have to be like that. Because there’s so many people coming at you all the time. Like, I even think now, sometimes the amount of messages I get, like, I have trouble responding. And that’s just me, you know, so maybe it’s, I don’t know, I know, this fear question has led into a whole diatribe about other things. But yeah, like, maybe there’s, yeah, maybe that comes with the territory. So I have to be prepared for that. And it’s, it’s fun. It’s you ever you’re always gonna have something to grow into, because that’s life, and it’s fun to grow through that. It’s fun when when you come out and yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we’re gonna stay in the same vein, and then we’ll and then we’ll switch. But what is your biggest struggle, and your biggest success when it comes to subconscious work?

My biggest struggle and my biggest success.

So my biggest,

I guess, I mean, I want to say they’re both the same, right? Because like my biggest struggle, so let me start with my biggest success.

So after my mom died, my dad got remarried. And my relationship with them was very stressful. And without going into it,

I developed a lot of patterns in reaction to the way that they were treating and talking to me. And those patterns that I created,

really have held me back a lot in my life. And for, like, 20 years, I went to therapy. And I’m, like a fan of therapy. And it didn’t help like it helped like the first six months because we like rehashed and I got to understand what was really happening. And I got to take some ownership of it, right? Even though I was young, like I, I can be empowered now that I have control.

But it didn’t like years of therapy, it just I just rethought about it.

Yeah, like rethought about it and rethought about it, and like really thought about it, and then thought about it in a new way. And then told some other new therapists all whole story again, do you know what do you mean? Like the whole damn thing? Let’s dive into it. But let me tell you what they said. You know what I mean? And so one day, like, I don’t know, nine years ago, maybe somebody said to me, have you ever gone? Have you ever had NLP on that? Neuro Linguistic Programming if you’re new here, right. So I was like, I mean, I heard all about that. But I was like, No, I mean, this is a big problem. Do you know what I mean? Like, this is a thing that has created all kinds of patterns in my life. And it’s why I don’t I’m not good at relationships. It’s why I’ve gotten divorced, you know, I mean, all this stuff. But they sometimes just, like, just meet with them and just see what happens. So I did, I hired the guy, which I’m, like, quick to hire, like if somebody says you should talk to so and so I’m talking to every shaman and like, Whatever, I’ll do it, you know, I’m hoping. So I got on phone with this guy. And then I don’t know, I mean, our session was 45 minutes, probably within 20 minutes. Like, I felt totally different. Like, I felt completely different. And it was so shocking to me, honestly, that I was like, What is this? Like, what? How did like cuz to me, he just was asking me questions, and then having me like, do things with, like, visualizing stuff. Like it wasn’t hard. I couldn’t.

And I remember I got off the phone and I was like, this was the I told Craig like that I just like I like I’m not mad like I don’t feel the heavy like I just don’t care. It’s really how I think I described it like I just don’t care, which seemed impossible after 20 years of like rehashing it. So

So, anyway, once I had that done, then I was like, I’m learning how to do that, like, I’m gonna learn how to do that. So I can keep doing it with myself, really, I think was the intention originally, and then like, then I’m like, I can help everybody else. And then I got obsessed. And then I was like, I’m gonna be a trainer, so I can train people to do it. And now, you know, with the Institute, we take people in that want to learn how to deal with other people, but also some people that just want to learn how to do it, like I did, and, and change themselves. Because I think the thing that these tools are so simple to use on yourself, where, like, if you’re a therapist, I think it’s hard to therapy yourself.

Right? Yeah. So I think like, my biggest thing was like overcoming that. And there’s always like, little remnants of it that I’ll find, you know what I mean, but it’s so different. I mean, it’s so different, like, and now I know what to do when I find a little remnant. I’m like, Oh, that’s interesting. Instead of like, that’s, like, this is terrible. Let me tell everybody about it. You know what I mean? Like, instead, it’s just like, a thing that I go, I just got to sweep the floor a little bit. Yeah, that’s awesome.

That I there is such a message i You say it all the time, like this, it can be fast. Like, it doesn’t have to be, like, years of rehab. And I like, I am so grateful for the people that sat there and listened to me fucking drone on excuse my language. Like, but like, like, it doesn’t have to be like that, like, we are sold this lie. That change has to take a long time. I mean, change takes 21 days. I mean, I’ve even heard that like, like, and we think that’s fast, but it can be 10 minutes. Yeah. And I always use the example of like an iron. You know, like, years ago, I remember my mom was ironing. And she used to drag the ironing board out into like, the living room area. And she’d put like her soaps on, like iron. And I remember I reached around and I hit the iron. I even think it was unplugged, but it was still super hot. And I mean, I even to this day, I will be so careful around an iron. Even if I’m pulling it out from like a cold closet, like you just don’t touch. I didn’t have to do it for 21 days. Like I just have to hit it once or a nanosecond.

So yeah, like change can be really, really fast when you do it in the right way. Yeah, so I burn all my clients.

I pull up iron now. But like it can be simpler. And I think there’s a really great place for therapists, especially with people that are not like typically normally organized. Right? Like my daughter needs a therapist, like, that’s what she needs. Yeah, different, you know, but like, sometimes once we get clear on what it is, it’s so much easier, just go up the mountain then like, stay at the bottom of the mountain in circle. Yes, yes. I think that it’s a good time to move on to some

ship a shift. So what is your process? What is your process when you bring a guest on your show? And then it says what are the steps to prepare. So I’m really picky about who I have on the show. Honestly, I get pitched almost every day.

And like I want people on that I really want to talk to and that I think are interesting or have a different like point of view. On episode 306. I went through like a whole process of like, how to be a good guest on a podcast. I’ve been pretty lucky because my guests are good guests. Because typically they’re like some people I know, in the real world, you know, or have met through like entrepreneurial groups or something where we have another connection. It’s not like they just pitched me.

But I think it’s really important if you’re a guest. And this is where like my fear of like showing up and being seen, I see this fear in other people. So especially in the beginning, people would become my guest on the show, like the first 50 episodes of the show we did were just like interviews, and then

those people wouldn’t always share it. Like they wouldn’t talk about it or share it. And I think it’s that I don’t want to be seen or I don’t want to look like I’m bragging or I don’t want to promote myself. But I’m like, I gave you like an hour on my show or for you know, 30 minutes on my show, which cost me money and cost me time and effort. Like just share it, like send out an email, you know, I mean, but I think my thing is like being a great guest, being a great guest is showing up and being like fully you like show up and shine, and then tell your audience about it.

You know, and then you can hear all about it on episode 306. That’s one of the points like

The point Yeah, but I think that the whole authenticity thing is really hard for people personally. Yeah. And, and maybe they look at, I guess they don’t because they’re so different than you but like, oh, it’s like competition. They’re gonna love her and stop listening to me or something. Oh, right. Yeah. Well, I typically I don’t have people on that arc, right? Like if you have a coaching program where you train people to NLP or hypnotherapy? Like no offense, I wish you well, but I don’t have you on because why would I promote you? Yeah, I mean, like, not in a mean way. But like, that. Doesn’t make good business sense. Yeah. Like, that doesn’t make sense. And if you’re aligned to somebody that listens to my show, they’ll hire you and not me. That’s okay. Yeah, like that. That’s okay. Like they’ll find you anyway. Does that make sense? What I’m saying is 100%. Yeah. So sticking with the podcast theme. Okay. What are the apps programs you use to record edit, publish your podcast? I think there’s so many easier ways to do it than the way I do it. Like I think you could do that sounds perfect to me that I feel like I choose the hardest way. I choose artist. But I think it’s because I started my show so long ago, at the time when I started my show, which did you know, I had another podcast?

I did? Yes. Only because I know things. Yeah. You know, things. This is why you’re my magical unicorn because you know that. So um, yeah, I had another podcast, it only had like seven episodes. And it was right after I wrote my book become a nutrition ninja. And it was like the goal setting ninja because really, I wanted, I didn’t want like, whatever it didn’t last long. The point is, so then at that time, then I was like, I really want to do a podcast. That’s more like what we’re doing now. And Pat Flynn, which he’s still around, I think, Pat Flynn at the time had this really long blog post about all every single step to start a podcast. And I think that blog post had like affiliate links in it at the time. Do you know what I mean? So he was making money, but the blog, I mean, it was like 10s and 10s of 1000s of people. I think now he might do a course or had at some point. Anyway, my point is I followed the steps on his blog post, which is really kind of convoluted, like I host it with something called Lipson. And then I post the link on Lipson on my website with a blueberry app. That’s an embedded plugin in my website. And then I set it up. So iTunes scans the feed of the blueberry app that is produced by my podcast or my website when that goes live. Like it’s not a it is not a healthy setup. It’s like one of those you remember when Twitter when recently when they were like Twitter’s gonna break at any second, like it’s all put together with band aids.

Do you this is what I heard that when they were like, the the people that have been banned dating, Twitter have been fired. And Twitter is teetering on that. I was like, Oh, I know. That’s reminiscent of my podcasts. But it works. It works. And so, you know, we’ll keep doing it. If one day you show up and you’re like, where’s but these podcasts, just know, it’ll be back in a day or two, I’d have to figure out a workaround and get a big band aid.

First of all, I love that Twitter was teetering. Like that just makes me happy. I’m on Twitter.

Because

Twitter love language. Yeah, I had Twitter once years ago. And then I stopped having Twitter. And I don’t know, I just, I didn’t have any. Like, when I came back to Twitter, then I had like three followers and I just felt stupid.

And I wasn’t tweeting, so I wouldn’t have any more followers. But I was just like,

I just don’t get it. I know. Yeah. There’s a lot of things I don’t get though. So it’s okay. Yeah. Okay, so

we’re going deep again, we’re off podcast and we’re wanting to know what is your Enneagram?

Oh, okay. So I am not. I’m not super aware of like the Enneagram and how it works and all of that, but I do know what I am heading on because I pulled up from years ago.

What do you think I am? Are you familiar with it? I I think I’m a seven. That’s all I remember. I don’t I know nothing? I don’t know. Okay, what is the seven? Let me just see if I can do you know what it is? No. And I think that’s just a number that I remember. Yeah, it could be wrong. Wait, hang on. I’m just I’m googling. I’m gonna Google it. A seven is

An enthusiast.

I feel like that kind of matches you. Okay, well then let’s go with that one. Okay, so mine is. So I’m just googling. Mine is a three.

Let’s take a big deep breath. Okay, it’s an achiever. Are you ready? For the description? Yeah. self assured, attractive and charming. Which all of that I’m going to accept. Okay. It’s true, ambitious, competent, and energetic. But here’s where we get sketch. Okay, you’re ready. Yeah. So they can also be status conscious and highly driven for advancement, typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness. That is so me. And I look at that, and I’m like, I don’t necessarily like that. But that’s very much me and I have actually work on like, my dad was a real workaholic growing up,

super into work and was on like, every board, every school board every like, he did all of that stuff. And so I think that I definitely attach my worth to success. And I’ve noticed if there’s any questions, my success, like, for example, like my, my in laws, or even my dad sometimes don’t understand the work that I do. Right? Because it’s like, if you’re in your 80s, like, it doesn’t make sense. Like, let’s be honest, you know what I mean? Like, you’re on the Internet, what? And I get, it makes me like, really makes me crazy. Like, I like I like, I should just like, let it go. Like,

I have a huge problem with it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, like a huge problem. And the competitiveness, I don’t feel like I have that if you’re not competing with me. But if we’re in like, like when I was in sales, and they would be like, you know, the top performer this week wins a pack of paper clips, I would be like, I am going to win. Yes. Like that kind of competitiveness. But I’m not like that. I want every coach to do good because I believe in abundance. Yeah. But if I’m put in a position where we’re racing down the street, like I will, I will, I will win. I will tell you, I will cut you. So yeah. And so. So then when I read that, it kind of fits me. You know, I mean, we I don’t know that. Um, I don’t know that. That’s bad, though. No, I don’t. I don’t what what does integrum based on Do you know?

I took the task, but I don’t really remember. I know that there. I should have somebody on. That would be a great episode. If you’re listening and you are really good. At any go. Yeah, I don’t. I know. They just like asked you a ton of questions. And that’s how it comes up.

Not like astrological. That’s your design or something. Right? Yeah. No. There’s a peacemaker, the challenger, the enthusiast, the loyalist, the investigator, the individualist, the achiever, the helper and the reformer. That was kind of going backwards, nine to one. Oh, wow. But yeah. And there’s like side wings, isn’t there? There’s like with a wing. I’m a seven with a with a three wing. Oh, no, I feel then the human design, but maybe it’s like human.

Like literally, I don’t know, somebody needs to come on and talk about it. I downloaded a book about it years ago and just never listened to it. That’s interesting. Interesting that someone asked you that too. Yeah, I Okay. So here’s something that I do is I’ll buy a book from Audible. And then if it’s too long, okay, let’s talk about this. If it’s too long, like if it says if I download it, and then it’s like 15 hours, I immediately know what I immediately know.

And so, recently,

recently, I

saw a I think, probably a tickety tock, I think cook clack, about people that when they did that kind of thing, and not that specifically, but like if something takes too, like they need short tasks, they have a sense of accomplishment, which not only goes into my achiever thing because 15 hours is a long time to achieve it. If it’s three hours I could finish it today and have success.

See, also I look for the longest ones because I want the most bang for my buck. Like I you’re not given me three hours for my credit. This book over here gives me 20 hours for my credit. Oh, yes. Which makes total sense.

Also, I think this might be an ADHD thing.

Do you know what I saw? I saw something on tick tock. Do you? Do you know anything about ADHD? Are you down do are you clear on like, I Yeah, I’m a teacher. So like, yeah, and all of my family

Me, it’s, I tell them all the time, like, you don’t need to go diagnose yourself. You’re born into it like it’s like, yeah. And like everybody in your lineage, but yeah, adapt and overcome people, we got this.

So I saw this tick. So I always sleep on my left hand side, okay? To a point where it can be a problem. Like when I used to go get my eyelashes done, I stopped getting my eyelashes done, in part because the lady would always yell at me because my eyelashes would be all like scrunched to the side. If I was because I sleep on my left hand side constantly. I also do this really weird thing with my hands. I do like this, like so that my hands are very like, if you guys can’t see but like, folded in like I fooled in and I saw this tick tock and they were like, does anybody else do dinosaur hands? That’s a sign of ADHD. I was just saying, You look like a T Rex. Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh my god, I do dinosaur hands. And they were like, and sleep on your left hand side. Like that’s a that’s a thing.

Interesting. I felt like kind of validated. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Well, and

like, now this is like, not the same realm. But when you get a diagnosis for like something that is making you feel a certain way it gives you comfort. Yeah. Validation. Yeah, that like I’m not crazy thinking that this is happening. Yeah. Yeah. But dinosaur hands are cute, because you know, T Rex. Yeah.

And I can do my own lashes. I don’t need that lady yelling at me. Every time I go in. I’d be like, Oh, just don’t mention it. Why don’t I put the note put a note in my file. Don’t mention the scrunched up lashes. Yeah, I’m glad you stopped that. Yeah. That’s all

that’s all we answer the question. We are complete. We are complete.

It was nothing wrong with me. It was timing. What? That questions and then perfect timing. You must have done this before. I know.

So good. Everything and this was a long episode. I hope that people hung with us. There’s a lot going on. We went we went from the depths of despair with my daughter to the problems I have with eyelashes. Yeah. And all of your wisdom with Abraham. We need to have you on more where we taught like really get into like the Abraham stuff. And and like, I know that you have like very specific things that you think and sometimes I most of the time I know you’re right. Even if some of the time I it makes me uncomfortable.

That’s

that’s really my life skills, making people uncomfortable. Like it’s on my resume. Love you. Yeah, but we need to have you on where we like really dive into it. I’m toads down to that. You know, I’m obsessed. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what would be fun? And I’m just throwing it out there. But if somebody had an issue, someone has a problem. I’m gonna like, I want you to like,

it’s got to be somebody that’s familiar with Abraham. Right? But I want you to like Abraham Hicks them. Yeah, because they’ll get offended. You’re really good at that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This was fun. Thank you for coming on. Thank you. Magical Unicorn heart hands.

Alright, everybody, thank you so much for hanging with us. Thanks for listening to this week’s episode. If you have a question for an Ask Me Anything episode, send it our way. And yeah, we’ll see you next week. I love you guys so much. Bye. Bye.

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media. I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tiktok. It’s just my name Betsy pake and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM, shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.