In this episode of The Art of Living Big, Betsy discusses how an everyday task can have a profound effect if you can shift your perspective. She explores the importance of focusing on happiness and contributing positively to the world. If you are looking for actionable steps that will improve your outlook, this episode is perfect!

Transcript:

394 Never the same person twice

[00:00:00] Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big.

Hello, fellow Adventurers. Hi everybody. Welcome to the show, and I’ve got a couple updates and then I wanted to share something that I have been thinking about that maybe will spark something inside you too. So my first update is about Dean Martin, if you’re new here. I got this cat from the pound back in April and I named him, well, he came with a name Dean and I, couldn’t, anyway, he’s Dean Martin, but actually I think most of the time I call him Kitty.

So Kitty had his second birthday. Which I was so excited about when I got him and they set his birthdays August 2nd. And [00:01:00] they gave me the date and I wrote it on my calendar and we had a little birthday party. I got sushi from H Mart and some shrimp, fresh shrimp, and I got this really cute little birthday hat and like bib thing that said Happy birthday.

I, it was like really the cutest little thing. I got it from Amazon. If you have birthday parties for your animals. Then somebody told me on Instagram that just any animal that’s as stray or that is at the pound, they give it all the same birthday, like August 1st for dogs and August 2nd for cats.

I guess. I don’t, I was so, I was like, no, it’s really his birthday. So I don’t know. I guess it’s kind of like Christmas, like you’re celebrating, but who knows what the real day is. But we did, we celebrated and it was really so fun. He has been such a joy and it’s so fun to see how much we can love a pet, right?

I had my Miley, which is a dog I had that died about four years ago, and I was so devastated and I thought, I’ll never love [00:02:00] anything like Miley. And it is different from Miley and cats are different from dogs, but I have really grown to love him and it has been like such a fun, joy thing that I’ve been doing.

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that every day I will post like good things, like just little things. You know? I think there’s so many little things we forget about that are really good, and so many of my things include Dean Martin, like little, I mean, even getting to sleep in or he’s starting to purr now or get, he’s starting to cuddle with me or really hang out with me.

I got one of those. Beds that cat beds that like attach to your desk. So like, he’s right here just watching me do the podcast. So anyway, he has brought me a lot of joy and it’s really fun. So, all right, so what have I been thinking about? So, I live in an apartment right now and.

I have so many things to share about that, which I will share in the coming [00:03:00] months. But I’ve been living in this apartment and I actually really like it. It’s a, really cute apartment and, has been lovely to live here. And when I get a package, I have to go down the elevator and to the front of my building and there’s a package room.

And so I had a package and I went to go get it and I got my package and came back up. And then I got an email that made me think something. Okay. So I got like an email or a phone call or text or something and I started really thinking about change and I started really thinking about what causes us to change.

And , so many times the women that we work with inside the Navigate Method, at the end. They have an opportunity to give us feedback. Good or bad, I want it all. And so many times we get these really incredible testimonials from people [00:04:00] about how their whole life was transformed, and I’m always so grateful that they share that with me.

But I’m also like, it’s 10 weeks. So this goes to my whole thing where I am like, change happens in an instant. We have been told this like pack of lies, that it takes 21 days to change a habit, right? Have you ever heard that? And change doesn’t take that long. Like we don’t go to the therapist for 15 years and then one day we’re at the therapists and we have an aha moment.

The aha moment happens in the moment, right? It didn’t like slowly unfold or. Like pixelate into our awareness over 15 years. Now, I’m not saying all of the experiences that we have lead up to the aha moment, but the aha moment happens in an instant. It is a miracle. It’s a tiny moment of miracle where we get a different perspective and we get to see the world different.

And I started [00:05:00] really thinking about this and about what creates. This level of transformation so quickly. And then I got a text that I had another package, so I was like, oh dang. Like I just came, it’s not far y’all, but I, you know, I’m like, I gotta walk. I’m not just walking to my front door anymore. So I’m like, I’ll run down and get it ’cause I have time.

And as I was walking down the hall, I thought I just was walking down this hall like 20 minutes ago, but I am different. I’m different than I was when I walked down the hall 20 minutes ago. And the reason is lots of reasons. I’m older, right? Probably a lot of things metabolically have happened in my body.

Like my physical structure is different, but I’ve had different thoughts. I’ve had new thoughts, and I’ve thought about change and I have a different perspective. And so now as I walk down the hall. I’m [00:06:00] experiencing the hallway different. So I’m having this awareness that I’m experiencing the hallway in a different way.

Now, I know this probably sounds really traumatic ’cause you’re like, Betsy, you’re just going to get, you’re just going to pick up your Amazon package. But the thought is so important, I think because it is the awareness that we are allowed to change. We’re allowed to transform. We’re allowed to think different things.

We’re allowed to have new perspectives. We’re allowed to change our mind, and it doesn’t have to take some big monumental thing to happen. It doesn’t have to take a ton of time, and it doesn’t have to take something interacting with us. It can happen inside ourselves. And so I wanted to kind of.

Explore through this thought because I believe that we get held back a [00:07:00] lot,. We are held back completely by the ideas and beliefs that we have. Like there is no non-limiting belief, right? Like you hear about limiting beliefs. Every belief is limiting in and of itself, right?

So then. Am I toggling myself back constantly by thoughts or beliefs around experiences that are allowed or not allowed to transform me? So on one hand, can I release the idea that something monumental has to happen or important needs to happen that I deem as important? In order for me to get a different perspective.

Can I just allow many different perspectives to exist inside me at once? Is it okay for me to hold [00:08:00] to ideas that may seem opposing, but I can understand or. Experience and have alignment with aspects of each of those components, right? So I work with women who are trying to make this really tough decision on what to do about their marriage.

Like, do I move forward and stay in this and get some new skills so that I can see and experience things differently? Or is it time for me to go. And both of those experiences can be held in your body. At the same time, I can want and hope that things will change and get better, and I can have an awareness that there are attachment issues they need to heal, or things that they need to do in order for this to be acceptable [00:09:00] to me.

Both of those things can happen at the same time. And I think what’s happening inside our program is that when we accept all those aspects of ourselves, there’s no longer this push or pull and that clarity comes into place and then it’s really. Aligning and clear on what feels like the right thing to move forward,

I think the push and pull of there’s a right way and a wrong way to think or be is it, causes us to spin, whether it’s spinning an indecision or spinning in unhappiness or spinning in, I’m fully, accepting myself. And so I lean towards one way or the other, right?

Everything’s either black or white. I’m not living in the gray, and I think I really live in the gray a lot. And so when I can do that, I can pull aspects of the black and the white , [00:10:00] that work for me, and I can create a reality that starts to move me in a way forward that I feel happy now. Okay.

So now if that’s happening, and I wanna go back to this idea of, I feel happy and why that’s important. So on the other hand, if I’m doing that and accepting all these parts of me, there’s another side of this that when I’m not doing it, something that’s happening. So when I’m not understanding that all of life.

I’m gonna say this thing, I say this inside the group and sometimes I can feel tension, , but hear me out. But that all of life is neutral. Like what’s happening is we are putting our beliefs on it and that’s what’s giving it the story that’s telling us if it’s good or bad. Okay? Which is important.

It’s important to be able to. Make judgements for yourself about how you wanna live and what’s [00:11:00] good and what feels good to you, right? So all of that’s important. But it’s also important to recognize that it’s neutral. So you walking into the kitchen and seeing that your husband has left stuff all over the counter and left for the day, that in itself is neutral.

The story that you have around that, like maybe he doesn’t respect me or he’s not paying attention, or he thinks I’m supposed to pick up after him. That story is the thing that gives it meaning. Okay, so I’m walking down the hall. I have this awareness that we can change in an instant. Okay? So I’m recognizing on the one hand that I can accept the gray.

I can understand that there’s black and white and I can live in gray, and I can accept all those parts of me. But on the other hand, if I’m not accepting those parts of me, if I’m pushing something away, what happens when we push [00:12:00] like a swinging door, right? It comes back and hits us in the face, right? So when I’m pushing something away, there’s resistance there.

And so if I’m actively pushing a thought, maybe it’s not even a thought I’m aware of. But a thought or a concept or a part of myself away, it’s always gonna be coming back to get me. It’s always gonna be coming back where it’s gonna be like, Hey, remember me, this is the thing that you hate. And then you’re gonna have all these experiences of that thing because there is resistance in it.

On one hand, I can walk through the world and say, I’m gonna just accept all these parts of me and then see what makes me feel the best. Or I can have really strict parameters on what’s right or wrong, and I can be pushing away and then continue to see the thing that I don’t like over and over again.[00:13:00]

Does this make sense so far? So bringing it back to why it’s important for you to find out what makes you happy, you know? I’ve had people say to me before online, when I’ve posted something in stories typically about my only job today is to be happy. They’re like, well, that would be great, but I have to go to work.

Your only job is to be happy. That’s a concept. We could do a whole show on that. In fact, I probably have, but when you’re thinking about all of the things that are happening in the world that we can focus on and. You’re recognizing that everything that you’re thinking is changing who you are, then why would you spend time focusing someplace that you don’t want?

Now, I’m not saying ignore things that are happening, and I’m not saying spiritually bypass. I’m saying use what’s happening to create the real change that you [00:14:00] want so you can continue to focus. On the unwanted and pointed out and re-share it on social media or think about it. My daughter said to me last night, she said, you have a really hard time talking about things that are sad or unhappy politically, things happening.

And I said, I don’t have a hard time. If you wanna have a discussion about it and talk about it, like I’m happy to do that. I’m not gonna just talk about it in order to make myself aware of how terrible it is. So I wanna say that in a different way. Instead, I wanna figure out, I wanna focus on the side of the other side of the stick.

Like, what could I be doing? What could this propel me forward to do? How can I take an action that would counteract the thing that I want? Or that I don’t want the thing that I’m [00:15:00] finding that’s unhappy. There were some changes recently and there was some talk about, school lunch programs losing funding.

Oh, I like my heart. Like I just, it broke my heart and I saw somebody post online. That kids that, oh, it’s gonna make me cry. I’m gonna have to pause. I’m not gonna pause. I’m gonna work through it. Kids that have food scarcity, when they get offered food, they don’t play, they’re not fooling around at the lunch table, they are so focused on the food and then they’re scanning to see what’s left over that they could save for later.

Okay, so the idea of those kids losing. Some funding and not getting enough food or any of that. Like I could look at that and I could be like, that’s so bad. Who did this? I could spend a lot of time, and instead what I decided to do was how could I find something locally that I could start just funneling [00:16:00] part of our proceeds too, that would pick up the slack for these kids?

’cause this is the thing that. Caused me pain. Does that make sense? So I think that, like when my daughter said last night, you don’t wanna talk about things that are hard. I’m totally happy to, as long as you’re willing to talk about the other end of the stick. So bringing it back to what makes us happy, it’s really important.

, I believe, and you can choose to believe otherwise, but I believe it’s really important for us collectively to stay in the. I’m gonna use the word vibration, right? The vibration above, like the worry line, right? If you think about the emotional guidance scale, like I wanna be above worry. I’m not contributing anything to the world.

When I’m in fear, desperation, stuckness, anger, like I’m [00:17:00] not adding anything to the world in that state. I can’t come up with really good solutions to things when I’m in that place, whether for my personal life or for the world. So how do I impact the whole world? I know this might sound crazy, but think about if everybody in the world was doing this.

How do I impact the whole world as I, I stay in a higher place of awareness so that I’m constantly shifting towards the side of the stick that I want, and so. That way when things come into my life that are unwanted, it becomes a natural reaction to shift to the place that I do want. And then from there, I can find solutions and answers that move me forward.

And in that aspect, I’m never the same person. Because I’m getting contrast constantly. A [00:18:00] thought that is unwanted, but I’m immediately seeing the other side of the stick. Now it takes training to do that. Am I the best at it? No, not at all. I’m on this journey too, but I see something and I say I can focus on it.

I can go down the rabbit hole. I can reshare a million terrible things and or ’cause I can hold both things. I can also. Be like, what can I do right now that would make me feel better? Because when I feel better, I’m gonna come up with some sort of solution or idea that would be helpful either for my life, for somebody else’s life or for the collective.

I believe that when we can start thinking this way, and I have a really specific training that I do inside my program on how to start to shift that on a really easy exercises so that every day I sit down and I go, how am I feeling? [00:19:00] And then how can I move myself up the scale into a higher place of meaning before I do anything?

And so when we can do this, then. I walk down the hall, I’m one person. I’m getting contrast constantly. That’s we’re constantly getting experiences. Good or bad. Good or bad. Good or bad, right contrast. But if I can teach myself self to shift, then the next time I walk down the hallway, am I different? Yes. Is it improvement?

I’m using the word improvement. You gotta define that in the way that feels right to you. But is it improvement for me would be me always feeling good. I’m not helping the world at all. If I’m not feeling good, I’m not getting good ideas. I’m not all those things. Okay, so how can I continue to accept that there are lots of things going on inside of me, black and white and gray, and release [00:20:00] the resistance to the unwanted so that I can move up the happiness scale.

Get new perspectives and ideas in order to impact the things that are really important to me. So I think when we can do, that is how we live a big life. Thanks so much for being here with me. I. Appreciate you guys that are sharing the show. It means a lot to me and I am still doing my YouTube.

We’re going to get back at it this week. It’s coming out this week, so I appreciate you guys checking me out over there too and being so supportive. And yeah, if I can do anything for you, you can always email us. At [email protected]. I see all those emails and if you’re interested in coming inside the Navigate method, you know I have a free masterclass on my website.

You can check that out. And if it seems like something you wanna explore, we will do a free clarity call with you. So a whole hour long call [00:21:00] where we really explore your situation and help you get clarity and then see if we can help. And if we can, we can tell you the next steps. So thanks so much for being here.

I will see you guys next week. Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger. Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today.

You can find me over on Instagram at Betsy Pake and on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless. And your life. It’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring, and keep living big.