This is a good one yall…Betsy explores the energetic shift that happens when we make a decision and how to pay more attention to our subconscious and rely less on logic alone. If you have been circling in indecision, big or small, this one is for you! Betsy invites us to think less about what to do and more about who you want to be.

Transcript

 Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big.

Hi everybody. Welcome to the Art of Living Big. I missed you last week. It got to be a crazy, hectic week, and then by the time that I had to have everything recorded, I just was like, you know what? I’m going to take a bath and get a massage and everyone will forgive me because I was really overdone. So I’m excited to be here this week though, and I have, I an episode for you that I think might be interesting, like no matter where you are in your life or what your challenges are or what’s.

Coming up for you. We all have decisions to make, right? Things that we have to choose between, and the more that I live my life, the more I think that decisions are not just, in fact, probably less logical thought out. It’s more energetic. So today I am gonna talk about something that could really change everything, not because it gives you more to do, but because it helps you to shift the energy that you are being while you do it.

So we’re gonna dive in here to the energy, be behind decisions. So, okay. I think when we think about decision making. We think about it as something we have to do in our heads. You know, I talk to people all the time and they’re like, I have done so many pros and cons list, and we even hear that as a strategy to make a decision, make a pros and cons list, which I think just makes me circle in even more chaos making a pro, because both lists seem good, right?

Which I could go into my whole. My whole diatribe about how there is no right decision. There’s no right or wrong, right? And that’s how come a pros and cons list doesn’t feel right, because there’s no right or wrong the universe isn’t going to. Punish you with a bad outcome if you choose the wrong thing.

Like that’s just not how it works. No matter which choice you make and which road you go down. Both roads, , have bumps and both roads have flows, you know, and so there is no right decision, but I believe that deciding is an energetic act. It’s not just a thought, but it’s a frequency shift, and when you can do it from that layer, then your cobblestone road doesn’t seem so cobblestoney, right?

You’re able to handle the ups and the downs in a way that feels so much more aligned because you are energetically. On the path that you’re on, instead of energetically being on one path and your brain being on the other path or hopping back and forth between paths. We always hear people say, you know, the universe isn’t giving you what you want because you’re not being clear.

And I think a pros and cons list gives us that not being clear because both sides could make sense. And , you’ve probably felt this before. It’s like this moment. Where you finally decide something like fully decide after you have been circling and rehashing and thinking about it forever, right?

Maybe it’s deciding to leave a job or to say yes to something new or to stop trying to fix something that isn’t working, but that moment that you decide there is a click. You can feel your whole body relaxes. It becomes way less anxiety ridden, even though you haven’t even done the thing. You’ve just made the decision to do the thing.

Your mind gets quiet, you just feel lighter, and that is not a coincidence. That is energy reorganizing itself before you make a decision, your energy is scattered. It’s like trying to tune. Like a couple radio stations all at the same time. Right. , I am imagining in the car. You know, , and I don’t know why, because I haven’t had the kind of tuner in my car where you turn the little knob and the little dial moves.

It’s like a analog radio. But that’s the image in my mind. Right. And you can’t tune it to two stations. Like you gotta turn it to one or the other. Otherwise , you won’t get anything. So when part of you says, I want this, and another part of you says, , but what if that’s the wrong choice? Again, thinking there’s a right and wrong.

The universe can’t line things up for you because it doesn’t know which signal to follow, and your subconscious mind can’t either. So remember, whenever I talk about the universe, I love talking about the universe and energy and all of those things, and I believe that there is a. Greater force out there for us.

And I also know that we can line up the way our brains work to how we talk about the universe. So your subconscious mind cannot look for the right things, right? Look for the coincidences and the things that it could be looking for that would bring you down the path you wanna go if it doesn’t know what it’s looking for.

Your subconscious mind wants safety above all else. So when it feels that indecision, that like hyper wobble, it interprets that as danger, right? So it says, well wait a minute. Hold on, let’s not move forward till we totally know, but , we never totally know. And so. This feeling, and I’ll hear people say this sometimes inside the Navigate method, , they’re like, I just wanna know.

Like I just wanna be certain. And I get that. Like we would wanna be certain, but certainty doesn’t come before the decision. It comes after, like that’s the paradox. And when you make a clear, energetic decision. You’re not just choosing a path, you’re shifting your identity. And I we’ll talk about that a little bit more, but what you’re saying to the universe and to your subconscious is this is who I am now.

This is the choice that I have made. This is the path I’m going down. And that is when everything starts to move. Right? And I see this all the time with clients , and I’ve lived this myself, right? When we’re in that in-between place, what I sometimes call the wobble, or sometimes I say it like feels crunchy, right?

It feels like hell, really. It’s not that you don’t know what to do, it’s that you’re afraid of what happens after you do it. Fear of loss or the fear of change, or you know, the fear of no longer being who you were. And it’s not just about roles. When I say identity, I’m not talking about roles. Like I’m not saying you as a wife or a coworker or a mom or a, like, I’m not talking about your role as much as you are, who you are, being right, how you’re showing up what you are energetically embodying.

As that identity. So when we have this choice to make, , our conscious mind says, I want something new. Like, I don’t like what’s happening. I want something different. But your subconscious mind says, but that sounds really unfamiliar. So you know, that might not be safe. So maybe not. And unfortunately, you know, your subconscious mind always wins.

It always wins. Until you decide differently, because that decision is what reprograms the subconscious. It’s what tells your inner system it’s totally safe. Now we have chosen, right? And without that choice, your brain just keeps hopping back and forth between these two pathways. Right? It stays is the pros and cons list or the this path or that path.

Like both roads could work. It just depends, like which adventure you wanna go on. And if you keep going back and forth, you’re gonna keep finding new evidence to stay stuck. You know, I hear people all the time, they’re like, I just need a sign. I just want some clarity. I have somebody in my program that can’t even say the word clarity.

She’s like, I, it is, that’s like a hot potato word. Like I just can’t even say it makes me sick to my stomach. But clarity isn’t gonna come before her decision. It’s gonna come, it’s gonna be created by the decision. So, all right, so here’s what happens energetically when you decide, I wanna talk about this.

So when you energetically make a decision, basically you are. Collapsing all the other timelines. Right? If you could think of your life as like, I mean, in infinite number of choices you could make, think about the number of choices you make in any given day. And you might be thinking like, well, I made like six or seven choices today at work.

But no, you made a choice of when to take a drink, when to walk down the hall, when to make a phone call, when to, like, there was prob, there was infinite number of choices you can make in every single day. Right? And when we. When we choose those other options that could have been potentials out there basically collapse, right?

You stop and it collapses because you stop entertaining though, well, what if that road, what if that road right? You are not even looking at those anymore. And so they essentially disappear and all of your energy comes home. It stops being scattered across all those different possibilities and it starts to flow in one direction, and that is when something really magic happens.

So that is when we feel momentum. And that’s when people go, Ugh, I feel so much better. I feel so much better. It’s when , synchronicity start showing up, right? The, right people, the right conversations, the , people will say , oh my God. All of a sudden this thing showed up and then I’ve gotten email, and the email linked me to this and that, and all of a sudden it’s so magical.

And I love, love, love when that happens. I love the magic. But it’s not actually because life suddenly changed. It’s actually ’cause your energy lined up. It’s because you changed your frequency and you became the person who has already chosen and you can feel that shift. Right? There’s a calm, like a confidence to it, really.

And here’s the part that I think surprises people is that even when the decision is hard. Even when the decision hurts, your energy feels lighter because indecision feels really heavy. It, drags your nervous system right through this like constant evaluation and re-looking at things and second guessing and doubling back, and spending a lot of time doing the same things, and your body doesn’t know how to relax inside that.

And so when you decide your system. Like finally exhale. So it’s kind of like, ugh, ugh, good. We can move on from that. And I could go down 500 rabbit holes around nervous system regulation. I have learned more, and that’s probably an episode I should do for next, week. But I have learned more about my nervous system, my own personal nervous system in the last year.

Of living on my own and seeing how I regulate and self-regulate and what causes me to feel dysregulated. It’s been like the biggest education and so fun and amazing, and at times really hard and really cool. You know, I have learned so much about nervous systems just in my work and in my training over the years and years of doing this work, but to actually.

Put it into a practice in a totally different way. Over the past year has been really cool, and I actually have a lot of things to share about that, so we should talk about that too. So, all right, so let’s go back. I said I was gonna talk a little bit about identity. So this is where I think it gets a little deep, right?

So, , I’m gonna say it like this, like every decision, , here’s how I wanna say it. Every decision that you make is a vote for the next version of you. So when you decide, you are saying, I am no longer the person who doesn’t know.

I am no longer the person. Waiting to be rescued or waiting for permission or, waiting for somebody to treat me right or waiting for anything. I am the person who moves. I saw a quote recently and it said that your relationship is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself. And I thought, oh, that’s so good.

’cause I think there’s so much validity to that. You know, the women that come into the Navigate Method, they’re feeling differently about themselves. Their identity is changing, and so they’re no longer willing to put up with what they used to put up with. Like they’re drawing a line in the sand and saying, this isn’t, what I’m worthy of anymore.

And I think once you embody that new identity, then your subconscious starts working to make that true. It starts scanning for evidence that supports this new story. Like I’m worthy of more, which many times women in my program, they’re, they get closer to their husbands, their husbands react to that new identity, right?

It will attract the right resources and ideas and people who align with that energy, like all kinds of things line up and that’s how come you can’t wait to feel ready. I hear sometimes people say, . You gotta, fake it till you make it. And I don’t think that’s it. I don’t think that’s it. But I think you, you become it.

You have to become it. And when you become ready because you decide, and I know, , sometimes the decision that you’re facing doesn’t have a clear right answer. Right. And I don’t think there’s any right answer. And maybe you’re deciding whether to stay or go right in a relationship or in a job or in a city.

That’s one I’ve been thinking about. So you might be waiting for the perfect sign, like the magic thing that just tells you exactly what to do. , And I wish that was like how energy worked, but it’s just not. So the energy of decision isn’t about having a perfect choice. It’s about. Your energetic commitment to move forward in alignment with who you are becoming.

So even if the external decision isn’t final yet, you can decide internally, and I always say this to my ladies, like, you can decide and not take action so you can decide. I will no longer stay in confusion. I will no longer postpone my peace. That’s an energetic decision. And from that place, then your mind quiets down.

You can get a handle on your nervous system. All of a sudden, your unconscious mind starts working for you and the path starts to reveal itself. I got a message from somebody not long ago, and they said that they. Found me and it was all like a kismet of crazy circumstances that brought them to me. And I smiled to myself because I thought, no, she made a decision that she was, done and she needed help to figure out what to do.

And the path began to reveal itself. So I have experienced this. Myself in many, many different ways, but in my own marriage, right in the thick of deciding whether to stay or leave. And I spent years in that energetic wobble, analyzing and journaling, like hypnotizing myself or meditating to oblivion, just to try and figure it out or to get myself to just stay.

I told myself I was doing the work, . What I was really doing was avoiding the feeling of making a decision because I knew that once I decided everything was gonna change, and at that time, that terrified me. But the moment that I decided, I actually know the exact moment that I decided energetically decided.

And it was like something just clicked and it was done. Like I, it wasn’t that I suddenly knew all the answers ’cause I didn’t, but my energy shifted from what am I doing to this is what I’m doing. That shift changed my whole life. It wasn’t easy, but I stayed really grounded in it, right? Calm and aligned, and I could see what to do next because I wasn’t vibrating in confusion anymore.

I, I always say to my ladies, , we calibrate on action, not on words, right? We’re calibrating on what is actually happening. And in that, I could really see how powerful that. Decision energy really was, it organizes your internal world in a different way, and then your external world has a chance to catch up.

So, and I think this is true, not just with big decisions like marriages or job career changes or things like that, but I think it’s for small stuff too. If you’ve been stuck in small decisions, joining a program or setting a boundary, it’s the same energy. But the moment you decide, your subconscious mind starts catching up, your nervous system begins to calibrate with a new identity.

Remember, it’s not a role. It’s who you are, and because you’ve shown it by making that choice that it’s safe to move forward. You might be wondering like, how do I actually do that? Here’s something I wanna say is that decision energy is less about doing, it’s more about being, and I know I keep saying that, and if you’ve listened to this podcast over the years, you know I’ve said that.

Who are you being, and I want you to imagine the word, the word being with B, capital. B, capital E, lowercase ING. Who are you being right? Is about becoming a woman who decides it’s about becoming a woman who has clarity. It’s about a becoming a woman who is decisive. So maybe take a little breath and ask yourself, who am I being in this situation?

Am I being a version of me? Who’s afraid of the unknown? Or am I being a version of me who trusts herself to handle whatever comes? You feel the difference in that? I always say, you don’t have to know what is gonna happen. You just have to trust yourself. You don’t have to trust anything out there. You just have to trust yourself that you can deal with whatever is out there.

And so when you start tuning into that version of you, the version of you that’s already decided. And your nervous system is calming and you start to feel grounded. You might even start to feel a little excited. It’s like a momentum. You could feel it in your body, right? Because your energy is finally getting someplace solid to land and, that’s the place really where your subconscious can start to follow new commands.

We talk about those like affirmations and saying stuff. If you haven’t done all this other stuff, like the affirmations are just words. When you get to that place where your subconscious is, paying attention, it begins to open doors you didn’t even know were there. And because your subconscious now believes you’re capable, it starts looking for the places that you can move to the next phase and the next phase.

The subconscious mind is always listening. I always say this, it doesn’t care about logic. It cares about your energy. So if you keep repeating, I don’t know what to do, I’m so upset this isn’t working, I’m so frustrated if, that is where you are, it, , doesn’t know what to do, right? It’s gonna take that as a directive and just create more confusion for you.

But if you settle into, I am decided, I just don’t see the full picture yet. Then your subconscious begins scanning for proof that’s what’s true. And so the words that you say really matter. I know I, we’ve said words are like a spell, right? That’s why they call it spelling it. It really is because it is like a spell on your subconscious telling it what to do, and you can literally retrain your subconscious to believe that clarity is safe and train your nervous system to believe that clarity is safe.

I mean that’s, we’ll talk about that next week ’cause I really have a lot to say about that. So one of my favorite practices. Is to close my eyes and take a big, deep breath and imagine pulling my energy back from all of the what ifs. And to say out loud, I get to choose this. Even if I don’t know the full path, I get to decide the energy that I’m standing in.

And I always tell my ladies, when you have your hand on your heart to say, if nobody got hurt. And money didn’t matter. What would I choose? And that moment in your body that you feel that’s an energetic shift, claim it. And then that begins a chain reaction. So sometimes I think we’re afraid of decision because we associate it with some kind of finality, right?

Like once we decide, then we’re trapped. But that is not true decisions, not a cage. It is a key. And it unlocks movement. And when you have movement, I think that is how you live a big life. So if you have been circling an indecision, big or small, I wanna just invite you to think less about what to do and more about who you are being.

Are you the woman who’s waiting or are the you, the woman who knows? All right. I can help you with anything. You know where to find me. Also, make sure I will say this before you go. We’re gonna be doing some fireside chats, a place for us to all get together as a community, not a training but a community gathering.

I am really gonna start trying to do those often. I’m gonna be announcing them on my Instagram, but also on my email list. So get on my email list if you’re not already. And we’re gonna be doing a monthly training, like a monthly webinar. So the fireside chat is more of a community gathering, and then we’re gonna be doing a monthly webinar where you can learn a little something different and some of the steps for you if you are in indecision and you’re trying to figure out what to do next.

So make sure you’re on my email list or follow me on Instagram so you can get all the deets on that. And if this was helpful to you, share this with somebody. I love it when you guys share it. I appreciate that so much. It’s how we get the word out, and I will see you all next week. We’ll talk about nervous system next week.

All right. See you guys then. Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger. Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today.

You can find me over on Instagram at Betsy Pake and on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless, and your life, it’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring, and keep living big.