This week, Betsy highlights the importance of women giving themselves permission to make choices that bring joy. We often pour so much into creating memorable experiences for our loved ones, especially during the holidays, but it’s essential to remember that our own moments are just as special. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! We are so thankful you are here.

Transcript

 Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big.

Hi everyone. Welcome. Welcome to The Art of Living Big this week. It’s a holiday week, so a little shorter episode, but I wanted to share a thought, and it’s actually something that I shared last year in a reel on Instagram. In fact, I may share it. I may re repost it this year because it resonated with so many people and I think it’s.

Such a good message. So here’s the message. , I realized when my daughter was young and she’s about to be 24, but when she was young, , like a little kid, like a toddler, I started to realize how many things that I always just took as like the magic of Christmas where actually my mom doing all this work, right?

Like . The cupcakes and champagne that go out for Santa every year. , , when my daughter, it was time for her to do well. We didn’t do cookies and milk. I did cookies and milk when I was little, but when my daughter, well, Santa changed his preferences by the time I had a kid.

And cupcakes and champagne is what we left out. , But I had to make the cupcake. Right. It didn’t just like magically happen. We used to leave out reindeer food and I remember as a little kid leaving out reindeer food, well, that actually has to be created reindeer food. And then the whole magic of it has to be implemented and was implemented by my mom.

I remember being a little kid and my parents would have the elves do something crazy in the house like. We had a little craft table, and I remember one year the chairs were upside down on the table and my socks were over the legs. I remember thinking that was so crazy and evidence that elves had actually been there and done something so silly.

And I remember when my daughter was little thinking about that and going, oh my God. All that magic. All that magic was my mom. Filling the stockings, figuring out what to put in ’em, putting out the little reindeer, all the little things. And , as we head into Thanksgiving here in the US I, I wanna just offer this thought.

And it is the idea that as women who do so much, we. Matter too. Our experience matters too. And if you’re putting together a big dinner, if you’ve got people coming over, if you’re doing something special where you are entertaining, I want you to also think about yourself in that. And one of the things I realized a couple years ago was that I was getting everybody’s order for.

Pie right after Thanksgiving. What does everybody want? And everybody that I was asking wanted pumpkin pie. I, I don’t dislike pumpkin pie, but I really love cherry pie. Like I really love cherry pie and I don’t have cherry pie very often. I don’t know why we don’t have pie as much as we have cake because pie is superior.

I love pie season. So here we are in pie season. I’m asking everybody what do you want? Everyone’s saying, pumpkin, and I’m feeling this tiny kernel of disappointment because I can’t have my cherry pie. Now you may already be thinking in your head like, yeah, you can. But when you’re in that moment, you’re like, I don’t wanna get a whole pie just for one piece, just for me.

And if you’re like me, I also think, , I don’t wanna get the whole pie and end up eating the, whole pie all by myself. ’cause that’s likely to happen too. But I remember last year , when I did this reel on Instagram, my message was Get the pie. Get the pie. I remember leaning over at Kroger and looking down and seeing the pumpkin pie and seeing the cherry pie and feeling that paying of guilt.

Where did that come from? Like we get to have a holiday too. It doesn’t have to all be just about creating magic for other people and , I think that if you want the cherry pie, get the cherry pie is a great metaphor for other things in our lives too. So if you want something, just because everybody else doesn’t want it or doesn’t want it for you, doesn’t mean it’s not for you.

And so I wanna offer you that little nugget, , as we move forward. And I will say this too, and this is so silly that I’m even saying this out loud, but you know, one of our sponsors here on the podcast is Cozy Earth, and I get asked all the time to do sponsorships, and I never want to, because very few people that reach out to me, it’s already something that I love , and so.

When I tell you about Cozy Earth, I really mean it. But one of the things, if you have been seeing my stuff on Instagram, and here’s what I mean, this goes with the Cherry Pie theme. So many times I post my quilted house coat that I got on Cozy Earth. It’s, one of my favorite things in the whole world.

I know that sounds so insane that a house coat would be, but I put it in the dryer. It’s a, like a comforter, you guys, it’s, a comforter. If you took a comforter and then you cut out a bathrobe shape and sewed it together, that is what this is. And I put it in the dryer at night. And then when I.

Get outta the tub, or if I take a shower at night or whatever, I put that on and it’s, magical and it brings me joy. So much joy. That and their cozy socks, and I love their sheets. I mean, all this stuff, there’s nothing, you can’t go wrong with any of it. But this bathrobe, I’m telling you, I’m obsessed.

So on the website, it’s called the Quilted House coat, but I have so many people that reach out because I post this. House code all the time because I really love it. And , right now through the middle of December, they have 20% off that you can get on their website. But you can stack the coupons.

So you can use the R code here for the R of Living Big, it’s just, it’s a live big Betsy. You can use that code and stack it so it’s, you get 40% off. I’m actually thinking about getting a second one ’cause I love it so much, but then I’m like, why would I need in case one’s in the wash, I guess. I just love it.

So I always am like jumping on Marco Polo with my girlfriends and they’re like, oh my God, that freaking bathrobe is like, it’s six 15 at night. Why do you have that bathrobe on? And I say, do not judge me. It is my cherry pie. I want to wear it all the time, and so I shall. So if you’ve seen that. , Cozy Earth has a really fabulous return policy.

They’re amazing. The stuff is amazing. Get yourself what you want for the holiday and get the quilted bathrobe, but I really do want you to get it, but I want you to tag me when you get it. ’cause I really wanna see, I’m so excited for all my friends that bought it for themselves to put under the tree. So.

, Whether it’s cherry pie or the quilted bathrobe or a walk in the afternoon where somebody else cleans up the dishes. , Give yourself what it is that you need. We are so sold, this idea that we are supposed to be second or third or fourth or fifth or put everybody, it’s it, a virtue to put everyone else first to be selfless.

And I think there has to be balance. I think you cannot give of yourself if you’re totally depleted and even though you’re a mom, even though you’re a wife, even though you’re a working woman, even though you exist as a female in this world, it doesn’t mean that you don’t get to have the things that bring you joy.

I think these little joys that we get to have. These are the things that make the big things, the big, hard things manageable. I think it’s the thing that makes grief doable. I think it’s the thing that makes struggles at work . Tolerable is by finding the little things that we can notice and give ourselves and be part of that are.

Tiny joys., I, on my Instagram stories every morning I always post good things. And I asked this past week, I said, I feel like this is different from gratitude, right? My list of good things. And I asked people, is it gratitude or is it a little bit different? And , it was pretty 50 50 of what people thought, but I have been thinking about it ’cause I love words and I love nuance of things.

And I think it’s appreciation. I think it’s not gratitude as much as appreciation, and that feels like a higher vibration to me. Right? Appreciation. And so when I think about getting the cherry pie or getting the quilted house code or whatever it is, I, think about this idea that I get to appreciate these things in my life and I’m allowed to choose them for myself.

I’m allowed. To create the experiences for myself that bring me joy. It’s wonderful when somebody else does that for you too. And you don’t have to wait. You can create it for yourself. So get your cherry pie if that’s what you like, or whatever you like. Get the thing you like. And if you get the house coat tag me.

, We’re gonna do a fireside chat. In January, so there’s already one scheduled, so make sure to look. The link is in my bio, , my Instagram bio. If you go there, it’ll show you the fireside chat. But I, I want, everybody to wear their quilted house coat.

Oh my gosh. Maybe we could make that a fun thing. I’ll wear mine. It’s, so good. And then we could really be cozy and chat by the fire that doesn’t exist. But I put a candle out last time I put a candle out, and that made me feel like we were, , achieving the goal. So I hope that if you’re listening, you’re having a really good Thanksgiving.

I hope you got the cherry pie. I hope you join me for the fireside chat. And if you get the quilted House coat, I hope you wear it. All right. I love you guys so much. I’ll see you next week. Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger.

Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today. You can find me over on Instagram at betsy pake and on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless. And your life. It’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring, and keep living big.