Have you ever dated someone who felt amazing in the beginning only to realize later you ignored red flags that were right in front of you? It happens to so many women—especially after divorce—because we're craving connection, safety, and a fresh start. But some of the biggest red flags aren't loud or obvious. They're subtle. Quiet. And they sneak up on you when your guard is down.

In this episode of The Divorce Revolution Podcast, I'm joined by relationship coach and author Daniel Ratner for one of the realest conversations we've had on dating after divorce. We dig into why chemistry can mislead you, how unhealthy patterns repeat themselves, and the sneaky signs of "emotional vampires" who drain your energy long before you realize what's happening. Daniel also breaks down the difference between emotional safety and infatuation, how to raise your standards without losing hope, and why self-esteem is the invisible filter determining who you attract.

If you've been dating after divorce and keep finding yourself giving more than you get—or getting stuck in the same patterns—this episode is for you.

Resources Mentioned:

• Check out Daniel's books: https://coachratner.com/
• The Coach Daniel Ratner Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-coach-daniel-ratner-podcast/id1595629326
• The Confident Coach Certification Waitlist is the ONLY certification specifically for divorced moms who want overcome imposter syndrome and finally feel legit: https://products.ambershaw.com/certification
• Join the waitlist for ReNewU: https://products.ambershaw.com/signature-waitlist
• Higher Infrared Sauna Blanket use code AMBER 15: https://higherdose.com/products/infrared-sauna-blanket

What We Discuss:

• 01:40 The emotional boundaries most women overlook
• 04:12 How to redefine love and what you actually want in a relationship
• 07:04 The real challenges of dating again in your 40s and 50s
• 12:26 How self-esteem shapes the partners you attract
• 14:26 Spotting emotional vampires before they drain your energy
• 19:15 The messy truth about parenting and partnership dynamics
• 20:28 Raising teens while trying to date (and stay sane)
• 23:46 Red flags that signal someone is toxic (and how to steer clear)
• 25:37 How to rebuild yourself after divorce without losing hope
• 34:51 Why self-value is the foundation of every healthy relationship
• 36:32 Where to find more support, resources, and guidance

Find more from Daniel Ratner:

Website: http://www.CoachRatner.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecoachratnerpodcast/

X: https://x.com/dan613ratner?s=21

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChDspvEbSIWDSo9X5WoSghw

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thecoachratnerpodcast/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coach-ratner-45b4678a/

Find more from Amber Shaw:

Instagram: @msambershaw

Website: ambershaw.com