Coaching for Leaders

454: How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet


Listen Later

David Marquet: Leadership is Language

David Marquet is the former commander of the U.S.S. Santa Fe, a nuclear-powered attack submarine. Under David’s command, the ship had an impressive turnaround, achieving the highest retention and operational standings in the Navy.

David is the author of the bestseller Turn the Ship Around: A True Story of Turning Followers Into Leaders* and has just released his new book, Leadership is Language: The Hidden Power of What You Say and What You Don’t*.

In this conversation, David and I explore the seven sins of questioning. David shares the story of the ill-fated El Faro and how we can discover better information in leadership by making the shift from self-affirming to self-educating.

Key Points

A leading question comes from a place of thinking the person is wrong, or that you have the answer. I hear this a lot from people who think they have the right answer but don’t want to use say so, so they use the Socratic method as a “teaching moment.” It’s annoying and arrogant.

Self-affirming questions are often binary questions with a special motivation: to coerce agreement and make us feel good about the decision we have already made.

Seven Ways to Ask Better Questions:

  1. Instead of question stacking, try one and done.
  2. Instead of a teaching moment, try a learning moment.
  3. Instead of a dirty question, try a clear question.
  4. Instead of a binary question, start the question with “what” or “how.”
  5. Instead of a “why” question, try “tell me more.”
  6. Instead of a self-affirming question, try self-educating questions.
  7. Instead of jumping to the future, start with the present, past, then future.
  8. Resources Mentioned
    • Leadership is Language: The Hidden Power of What You Say and What You Don’t* by David Marquet
    • Turn the Ship Around: A True Story of Turning Followers Into Leaders* by David Marquet
    • David Marquet’s website
    • Related Episodes
      • Find Courage to Speak When It Matters Most, with Allan McDonald (episode 229)
      • These Coaching Questions Get Results, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 237)
      • The Path of Humble Leadership, with Edgar Schein and Peter Schein (episode 363)
      • How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson (episode 404)
      • Discover More

        Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

        ...more
        View all episodesView all episodes
        Download on the App Store

        Coaching for LeadersBy Dave Stachowiak

        • 4.8
        • 4.8
        • 4.8
        • 4.8
        • 4.8

        4.8

        1,393 ratings


        More shows like Coaching for Leaders

        View all
        The Look & Sound of Leadership by Essential Communications - Tom Henschel

        The Look & Sound of Leadership

        1,163 Listeners

        The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk by Ryan Hawk

        The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

        1,346 Listeners

        Teaching in Higher Ed by Bonni Stachowiak

        Teaching in Higher Ed

        374 Listeners

        HBR IdeaCast by Harvard Business Review

        HBR IdeaCast

        180 Listeners

        Negotiate Anything by Kwame Christian Esq., M.A.

        Negotiate Anything

        728 Listeners

        How to Be Awesome at Your Job by How to be Awesome at Your Job

        How to Be Awesome at Your Job

        1,037 Listeners

        Worklife with Adam Grant by TED

        Worklife with Adam Grant

        9,135 Listeners

        Speak Up: Develop Your Executive Presence & Leadership Communication Style by Laura Camacho

        Speak Up: Develop Your Executive Presence & Leadership Communication Style

        95 Listeners

        Maxwell Leadership Executive Podcast by John Maxwell

        Maxwell Leadership Executive Podcast

        380 Listeners

        Inside the Strategy Room by McKinsey & Company

        Inside the Strategy Room

        177 Listeners

        No Bullsh!t Leadership by Martin G Moore

        No Bullsh!t Leadership

        127 Listeners

        The Anxious Achiever by Morra Aarons-Mele

        The Anxious Achiever

        573 Listeners

        Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques by Matt Abrahams, Think Fast Talk Smart

        Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

        835 Listeners

        A Bit of Optimism by Simon Sinek

        A Bit of Optimism

        2,227 Listeners

        Coaching Real Leaders by Harvard Business Review / Muriel Wilkins

        Coaching Real Leaders

        671 Listeners

        HBR On Leadership by Harvard Business Review

        HBR On Leadership

        174 Listeners