Oftentimes, when we ask our spouses for something, it can lead to disappointment, frustration and feeling that your spouse doesn’t care about your wants and needs. On this episode of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, I’m sharing four steps to use to improve communication when asking your partner for what you want, using the example of couples coaching. This is not a method to manipulate your partner. Rather, it’s a way to improve communication by respecting your partner’s experience while simultaneously establishing the importance of your desires, and ultimately getting what you want.

 

IN THIS EPISODE:

 

• [00:48] How to ask for what you want
• [03:56] Scenarios when a partner is seeking couples coaching
• [10:30] Step 1: Start with an opt-in
• [13:18] Step 2: Affirm your marriage
• [14:48] Step 3: Share areas of improvement within your marriage
• [16:27] Step 4: Introduce Alexandra and couples coaching
• [16:51] Tips for how to communicate with your spouse
• [18:23] Another option for improving communication and your marriage
• [20:59] Reviewing the four steps plus how these steps can improve other conversations your and your partners have about your life together

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

 

• Today’s episode discusses how to tell your spouse what you want. I specifically talk about how to communicate about couples coaching, but the tips shared can be applied to many other areas in marriage.
• Start by getting an opt-in, meaning you want your partner to have a choice in starting the conversation. 
• Affirm your spouse and marriage in a genuine way. Share specific things that you enjoy about your spouse and your marriage.
• Transition to asking how your marriage could be better. Share specific areas that you think need attention or improvement, and ask your spouse if they agree.
• Share that couples coaching is a good way to create positive change.
• If your spouse still says no to couples coaching, try asking if they will participate in a 15 minute call with me. Oftentimes, a quick call will show them that I'm not committed to doing things the way you’ve described. I'm committed to doing things in a way that works for both of you..

 

Links Mentioned:

 

Desires: Awaken the Woman Within: https://desires.alexandrastockwell.com/desires/

 

Read Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy”: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

 

The Aligned and Hot Marriage program: https://www.alignedhotmarriage.com/ 

 

Join THE INTIMATE MARRIAGE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/hotmarriage

 

Follow Alexandra:

IG: @alexandra.stockwell.intimacy - https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/

 

FB: https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.stockwell.7

 

FB business: https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/