Choosing to Stay

#60 Exploring Personal Healing Post-Betrayal and Infidelity


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In this episode, we focus on the stages of healing from partner betrayal and infidelity, sharing insights from Paula Hall's work, breaking down the healing process into easily understandable acrostics. We highlight the first phase of safety and stabilization, followed by grief and mourning, and finally post-traumatic growth and reconnecting with oneself. We also explore the importance of understanding the impact of one's actions on their partner as a foundation for developing empathy in the relationship. Here are the models introduced in today's episode:

SURF Model: (betrayed partner healing)

  • S: Survive the trauma and initial shock.

  • U: Understand the cycle of reaction and triggers.

  • R: Repair self-identity and self-esteem.

  • F: Face the future with new perspectives.

  • CHOICE Model: (one who has acted out healing)

    • C: Challenge core beliefs hindering change.

    • H: Have a vision for a healthier future.

    • O: Overcome compulsive behaviors and triggers.

    • I: Identify positive support networks.

    • C: Continue healthy living practices.

    • E: Embrace life fully in recovery.

    • Thank you for tuning in to our podcast for couples healing from infidelity and betrayal. As certified coaches, we aim to provide support and guidance for those who decide to stay in their relationship. We offer valuable insights, empathy, and hope on the journey toward healing. Join us weekly for encouragement, skills, and expertise.

      Your hosts are Certified Relational Recovery Coaches specializing in Infidelity and Betrayal:

      Hali Roderick- TICC, PCC, APSATS CPC-Candidate, ERCEM Candidate

      Read Hali’s Bio

      Book with Hali

      Stephanie Hamby- MCLC, APSATS CPC-Candidate, ERCEM Candidate

      Read Stephanie’s Bio

      Book with Stephanie

      Email Stephanie: [email protected] 

      Contact us:  [email protected]

      Choosing To Stay Webinar: Join Hali as she teaches this monthly free webinar for those Choosing To Stay after infidelity and betrayal.

      Help. Her. Heal. for Men - Hali Roderick helps men learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Participants will receive weekly exercises and worksheets to help them gain the skills to begin healing a broken relationship. 

      Empowerment After Betrayal for Men - Hali Roderick leads a betrayal trauma support group for men who have been betrayed where they can gain tools and resources to recover from betrayal trauma in a healthy way while being surrounded by a supportive community. 

      Healing Hearts Couples Group - Stephanie Hamby leads Healing Hearts Live Group  a supportive community for couples seeking healing after betrayal and infidelity, emphasizing the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy, offering practical tools, skills, and a nurturing community to navigate challenges and foster relational growth.

      Choose Renewal Group for women: Stephanie Hamby leads Choose Renewal: For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Our focus is on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out. This group aims to provide a safe, nurturing community where women can find support and guidance on their journey towards renewal.

      More from Choose Recovery Services:

      Choose Healing - Betrayal Trauma support for women - This weekly support group is for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help to cope with the symptoms of trauma such as depression, hyper-vigilance, anxiety, and lack of trust. Ask questions from our team of coaches at Choose Recovery Services who have been there.

      Road to Recovery - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery. 

      Connect with Choose Recovery on Instagram

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