July 22, 2025

66: Why am I Anxious in my relationship + Dysregulated EVEN though I’ve Done the Work?

21 minutes

3-min Attachment Quiz, to KNOW your attachment with certainty:

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

You’ve done everything to feel better in your relationship, right?

✅ You journal.

✅ You listen to nervous system experts.

✅ You know you're anxiously attached.

✅ You meditate, you breathe, you even go to therapy or coaching...

And STILL - you feel constantly on edge 🧨

Still overthinking, still triggered, still asking:

“WHY do I feel so anxious in my relationship... even though I'm doing all the work?”

Why am I feeling so dysregulated and snapping at my partner all the time, or walking around on eggshells?

In this episode, I’m getting brutally honest about what’s missing...the overlooked piece that’s keeping your nervous system stuck in survival mode.

💣 And trust me, it’s NOT just about doing more healing work.

If you feel like you’re always bracing...

If you spiral the second they don’t reply...

If you’re hyperaware of tone, texts, and silence...

👉 THIS is the episode your nervous system has been waiting for.

Inside, I’ll share:

✨ Why your 10-min meditations aren't enough

✨ How your everyday habits are secretly retriggering your nervous system

✨ What real micro-regulation looks like (and how to make it doable)

✨ Daily anxious attachment patterns you didn’t even realize were rooted in dysregulation

✨ The TRUTH about why you feel unsafe in love... even with a “good” partner

This episode is your wake-up call if you’re:

➞ An anxious attacher who wants to feel CALM + SECURE

➞ Tired of living in your head, over-analyzing every interaction

➞ Craving emotional safety without needing your partner to change

➞ Done with “tools” that only work after the spiral has already started

You’ll walk away with real-life examples and daily nervous system practices that help you feel more grounded - in your body AND in your relationship.

Expect practical shifts, relatable stories, and a big sigh of relief that no… you’re NOT broken. You’ve just been missing the invisible layer that changes everything.

Especially if you’ve been in survival mode for years...

This one is for you.

👇LISTEN NOW or WATCH ON YOUTUBE

Because healing doesn’t start in the moment you spiral.

It starts in the micro-moments you live every day.

Love, Jula Your Anxious to Secure Coach :)

✨Want my personal help with this? Check out these offers and resources:

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)

➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Grab more FREE resources:

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

What you'll find:

"He doesn't reply flow chart

anxious to secure the checklist

21 ways to stop abandoning yourself

the magnetic formula to re-atttract anyone again

stop being "needy" guide

Challenge your thought cheat sheet

End jealousy forever - mega guide

and moooore

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Why You're STILL anxious + dysregulated EVEN though You've TRIED it ALL

00:49 What dysregulation in your relationship might look like

02:28 The missing peace - what you're STILL doing wrong

03:38 Micro Moments you're retriggering Your Nervous system DAILY + At Work

05:52 How you reinforce your Survival State in your Relationship

06:53 the missing piece - How to regulate your nervous system through micro moments

12:25 Understanding Your nervous System in our Modern World

16:11 What can you do INSTEAD?

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

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By Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach

3.5

22 ratings