July 29, 2025

68: How to Lose an Avoidant Guy in 7 Steps (Your Perfect Recipe for Breakup)

21 minutes

Have you ever wondered why your avoidant partner pulls away the second you get close? Why he goes quiet after a great date, or suddenly needs “space” when things feel perfect?

This episode is for YOU if you’ve ever caught yourself thinking:

✔ “What did I do wrong?”

✔ “Why does he shut down instead of talking about it?”

✔ “How do I make him stay… without feeling like I’m chasing him?”

I’m breaking down the 7 things women (or anyone with an anxious attachment) does (without even realizing it!) that push an avoidant guy away...

step by step...and WHY these behaviours feel so triggering to him

This episode was inspired by How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, but trust me, this isn’t just about a movie.

This is about your attachment style colliding with his… and what you can do differently

Here’s what we’ll cover:

✨ Why oversharing ALL your trauma on date one sends him running.

✨ Why making him your whole world feels like pressure (and what to do instead).

✨ Why those late-night text novels when you’re triggered make him shut down.

✨ The truth about silence, distance, and why it’s NOT rejection.

✨ How turning his emotional availability into a test of your worth is ruining your peace

And most importantly… how to STOP this pattern and finally feel secure in love

Because here’s the truth:

Avoidants aren’t heartless. They’re scared too. Just like you.

They learned as kids that closeness = danger. You learned closeness = safety. That’s why your love feels like a constant push-and-pull.

But the GOOD NEWS? You can break this cycle without changing him.

It starts with your nervous system. It starts with YOU feeling safe, even when he pulls back.

LISTEN NOW or WATCH ON YOUTUBE

Because healing doesn’t start in the moment you spiral.

It starts in the micro-moments you live every day.

Love,

Jula Your Anxious to Secure Coach 🖤

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

MY SHOP

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)

➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Grab more FREE resources:

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Avoidant Attachment Styles + What how you trigger them

01:38 How Avoidant's Grew Up and how their Attachment Style was created

03:23 How to LOSE an avoidant guy in 7 Steps (Your Recipe for breakup)

04:38 01. Overshare all your trauma in the first 10 mins

06:28 02. Make them your whole world

07:45 03. Text novels when you're triggered

10:20 04. Assume every silence means abandonment

12:18 05. Expect them to meet ALL your needs

13:35 Free Attachment Resources + Work with me 1:1

15:09 06. Try to fix the “disconnect” with more connection

16:42 07. Make his emotional availability a test of YOUR worth

18:17 What does work if you're Anxious and they are Avoidant

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

...more

View all episodes

By Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach

3.5

22 ratings

July 29, 2025

68: How to Lose an Avoidant Guy in 7 Steps (Your Perfect Recipe for Breakup)

21 minutes

Have you ever wondered why your avoidant partner pulls away the second you get close? Why he goes quiet after a great date, or suddenly needs “space” when things feel perfect?

This episode is for YOU if you’ve ever caught yourself thinking:

✔ “What did I do wrong?”

✔ “Why does he shut down instead of talking about it?”

✔ “How do I make him stay… without feeling like I’m chasing him?”

I’m breaking down the 7 things women (or anyone with an anxious attachment) does (without even realizing it!) that push an avoidant guy away...

step by step...and WHY these behaviours feel so triggering to him

This episode was inspired by How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, but trust me, this isn’t just about a movie.

This is about your attachment style colliding with his… and what you can do differently

Here’s what we’ll cover:

✨ Why oversharing ALL your trauma on date one sends him running.

✨ Why making him your whole world feels like pressure (and what to do instead).

✨ Why those late-night text novels when you’re triggered make him shut down.

✨ The truth about silence, distance, and why it’s NOT rejection.

✨ How turning his emotional availability into a test of your worth is ruining your peace

And most importantly… how to STOP this pattern and finally feel secure in love

Because here’s the truth:

Avoidants aren’t heartless. They’re scared too. Just like you.

They learned as kids that closeness = danger. You learned closeness = safety. That’s why your love feels like a constant push-and-pull.

But the GOOD NEWS? You can break this cycle without changing him.

It starts with your nervous system. It starts with YOU feeling safe, even when he pulls back.

LISTEN NOW or WATCH ON YOUTUBE

Because healing doesn’t start in the moment you spiral.

It starts in the micro-moments you live every day.

Love,

Jula Your Anxious to Secure Coach 🖤

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

MY SHOP

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)

➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Grab more FREE resources:

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Avoidant Attachment Styles + What how you trigger them

01:38 How Avoidant's Grew Up and how their Attachment Style was created

03:23 How to LOSE an avoidant guy in 7 Steps (Your Recipe for breakup)

04:38 01. Overshare all your trauma in the first 10 mins

06:28 02. Make them your whole world

07:45 03. Text novels when you're triggered

10:20 04. Assume every silence means abandonment

12:18 05. Expect them to meet ALL your needs

13:35 Free Attachment Resources + Work with me 1:1

15:09 06. Try to fix the “disconnect” with more connection

16:42 07. Make his emotional availability a test of YOUR worth

18:17 What does work if you're Anxious and they are Avoidant

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

...more