Do you feel beaten down? Like you don't recognize yourself anymore while loving someone who drinks too much or suffers from addiction? This disease does a really good job trying to convince us that we are helpless.

But that's a lie. There are many things you can do to help your relationship and give him a better chance of sobriety

One of the best ways to help is by learning the most common mistakes you might be making when loving an alcoholic or substance abuser.

Click here for a free training video where I walk you through each one of these steps. You don't want to miss it (and you will love the helpful - and beautiful - slides in the video). Plus, it's under five minutes - because I know you're busy.

Here are seven mistakes you may be making:

1. Keeping track of your loved one's drinking. If you tell him or her not to drink in the house, they will just find another place to drink. If you throw away the liquor, they will just spend more money replacing it. You have no control over anything your partner chooses to put into his body.

2. Lecturing your partner. No matter how much you threaten, it won't change their behavior. Set boundaries and give consequences for his or her behavior with your actions, not with words.

3. Speaking negatively about your loved one to your children. This is a major no-no. Your children need to feel safe. They deserve to form their own opinion about their parent, not inherit yours.

4. Researching recovery information. This is not your job. Your partner's sobriety will never last if the idea is coming from you. Don't drive him or her to meetings, purchase books, or set up appointments for them.

5. Placing your life on hold to focus on your loved one's issues. Don't. Your dreams are important. Focus on your purpose, not theirs.

6. Believing the hurtful lies. You are smart. You are valuable. You are beautiful and kind. Anyone that tells you anything else is not someone you need to be listening to.

7. Not forgiving yourself for staying with your partner. You know he or she can be awful, but you are smart enough to know they are sick. You love them, so you are choosing to stay. You reserve the right to change your mind tomorrow.

So, my sweet reader - what mistake do you struggle with? Or are you like me and make them all?

If you're ready to make your healing as important as your partner's sobriety – we are waiting for you. Our programs are online, confidential, and you have lifetime access – so you can do them at your own pace.