Coaching for Leaders

719: How to Better Manage Your Emotions, with Ethan Kross


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Ethan Kross: Shift

Ethan Kross is the author of the national bestseller Chatter and one of the world’s leading experts on emotion regulation. An award-winning professor in the University of Michigan’s top-ranked Psychology Department and its Ross School of Business, he is the Director of the Emotion and Self-Control Laboratory. He’s the author of the new book, Shift: Managing Your Emotions–So They Don’t Manage You*.

Being a leader means that our emotions get triggered, often many times a day. While none of us can avoid those triggers, how we respond to them can make all the difference. In this conversation, Ethan and I explore his research on how to better manage our emotions.

Key Points
  • We often assume that approaching emotions is universally good and avoiding emotions is universally bad. Reality is much more nuanced.
  • We can strategically use our senses to modulate our feelings.
  • Music is a simple and powerful way to manage emotions proactively. Use playlists that align with the mood you wish to create.
  • Using distancing language when talking to yourself (i.e. saying “you” instead of “I”) can help you regulate.
  • Time shifting may help regulate your emotions. Ask yourself, how will I feel about this in a week? A month? A year?
  • Different tools work for different people at different times. Experiment to help you determine what works best for you.
  • Resources Mentioned
    • Shift: Managing Your Emotions–So They Don’t Manage You by Ethan Kross
    • Interview Notes

      Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

      Related Episodes
      • How to Find Helpful Advisors, with Ethan Kross (episode 516)
      • How to Grow From Your Errors, with Amy Edmondson (episode 663)
      • How to Handle High-Pressure Situations, with Dan Dworkis (episode 701)
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