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74: "Dear AVOIDANT Attachment" -If Anxious Attachment Could Speak - 5 Things They’d Say
“I’m not trying to control you… I’m just scared.”
If you’ve ever wished your avoidant partner really understood what’s happening inside your body when they pull away…
This episode is for you
It’s a love letter from your anxious attachment style to the person who feels hard to reach.
And maybe…
You’ll want to share it with them 💌
Not to convince or fix anything - but to finally FEEL SEEN.
What’s inside this episode:
🫂 5 powerful truths the anxious partner wishes they could say (but didn’t have the words for)
💭 “I’m not trying to be clingy... I’m trying to feel SAFE.”
🪫 The real reason anxious people overgive, chase, and people please
🧠 Why their nervous system spirals at even tiny signs of distance
🪞 Why they hide their needs + make themselves SMALL to stay close
💬 What they need when the avoidant partner shuts down or gets overwhelmed
🌊 Why healing together - even with different styles - is possible
✨ Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
COURSES 👩🏻💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Anxious Attachment better
00:53 Dear Avoidant Attachment Style... I would love you to know about me (the Anxious Attachment Style))
01:00 01 "I’m not trying to control you. I’m just scared."
03:00 02 "It’s not just about YOU. It’s about my past."
04:09 03 " I don’t WANT to be this way."
04:57 04 "When you shut down... I feel invisible."
06:07 05 "I want love to feel safe... for both of us."
You don’t have to hide how deeply you feel.
Or apologize for how your nervous system responds.
You are NOT “too much.”
You’re just trying to feel safe 🖤
▶️ Press play if you’ve ever thought:
“I wish I could explain my anxiety without sounding crazy.”
“I want them to see the real me... not the panicked version.”
“I’m not broken. I’m just scared.”
View all episodes
By Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach
3.5
22 ratings
“I’m not trying to control you… I’m just scared.”
If you’ve ever wished your avoidant partner really understood what’s happening inside your body when they pull away…
This episode is for you
It’s a love letter from your anxious attachment style to the person who feels hard to reach.
And maybe…
You’ll want to share it with them 💌
Not to convince or fix anything - but to finally FEEL SEEN.
What’s inside this episode:
🫂 5 powerful truths the anxious partner wishes they could say (but didn’t have the words for)
💭 “I’m not trying to be clingy... I’m trying to feel SAFE.”
🪫 The real reason anxious people overgive, chase, and people please
🧠 Why their nervous system spirals at even tiny signs of distance
🪞 Why they hide their needs + make themselves SMALL to stay close
💬 What they need when the avoidant partner shuts down or gets overwhelmed
🌊 Why healing together - even with different styles - is possible
✨ Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
COURSES 👩🏻💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Anxious Attachment better
00:53 Dear Avoidant Attachment Style... I would love you to know about me (the Anxious Attachment Style))
01:00 01 "I’m not trying to control you. I’m just scared."
03:00 02 "It’s not just about YOU. It’s about my past."
04:09 03 " I don’t WANT to be this way."
04:57 04 "When you shut down... I feel invisible."
06:07 05 "I want love to feel safe... for both of us."
You don’t have to hide how deeply you feel.
Or apologize for how your nervous system responds.
You are NOT “too much.”
You’re just trying to feel safe 🖤
▶️ Press play if you’ve ever thought:
“I wish I could explain my anxiety without sounding crazy.”
“I want them to see the real me... not the panicked version.”
“I’m not broken. I’m just scared.”
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